Sad The Dark Side of Cannabis to me. Experiencing schizophrenia.

[LifeQuitter]

Hi guys I want to tell you about my unique experience with Cannabis and how it affects my life in the negative. I know a lot of normal people who were never “junkies” can go through life and consume Cannabis occasionally just like drinking once in a while at a party. I am definitely not in that category and I will tell you why.

First a bit background about me: Male, 23, this February I made the worst decision of my life: experimenting with illicit drugs. I didn’t do so without any motive or reason. I am in psychotherapy and very high dosage of antidepressants and sleeping pills since 2017. I was doing pretty good last year though, did a lot of things to turn my life around and it worked out so well, last fall was the first time I genuinely felt happy for the first time in 5 years!!! I met her, the first person ever I felt emotionally well with, happy with. I never would have thought I met someone who describes the words “the other part / significant other” that well.
Unfortunately this February I had the terrible life circumstances that my relationship with the love of my life broke apart due to reasons out of my control (she met a “better guy than me” .). It all crashed down on the 7th of March and that’s when I hit rock bottom. I never in my life thought a human can hit a state THAT low. I did a few drugs for about a week or two in February then stopped completely but in March I was ready to die and wanted to genuinely end it all. Then I started heavy drug use and slipped into full blown opiate addiction. Now thankfully I was stopped after 2 months and I am substituted now. Slowly tapering off. I went into details in my other post so I do not want to go into it further here.

What I do wanna talk about is the effect Cannabis has on me.
You must know 3 of my relatives on my father’s side suffer from severe schizophrenia that’s so bad that they need to indefinitely live institutionalised. A couple of other relatives have other mental illnesses too.
Why is that important? Because every time I consume THC I experience schizophrenic psychosis. Even on low doses but on higher doses it is of course stronger and worse.
The cognitive effects of Cannabis to me are that I cannot control my thoughts and almost also my actions. I start hearing voices and believing things that aren’t true. Eg classic schizophrenia symptoms: I thought people in the TV are talking to me directly, some song is written for me personally, thinking some agency tries to telepathically communicate with me. On high doses I even sometimes have slight deliric symptoms such as visual hallucinations of creatures in the shadows at night.
I must say I did a lot of drugs now but if I would say ONE drug I couldn’t and shouldn’t EVER be seen by any person is Cannabis. I am like a zombie, mumbling to myself, acting almost like those “bath salt zombies”.
If I could compare LSD to THC I would say under LSD I am a million times more capable of having a normal conversation or doing anything remotely normal. I have no psychosis on LSD.
The only “positive aspect” of THC are: immersion in music, time dilation and appetite increase (since I lost her I lost so many pounds it’s at point where it’s comical. I was always skinny but now I am a ghost. About 6’3 and 125lbs right now bc of this drug addiction and not being able to eat anything more than a slice of bread a day in weeks!!!)

Another horrible aspect is the cravings for the THC is stronger than opiates (!!!). If I have access I smoke and smoke and never stop. Every 2-3 hours I keep hitting the vaporiser. It’s like crack.
You may ask why is it so addictive if it is mostly negative to me?
Well, that’s why I put the “sad” tag on the title.
I do it as a substitute, I am a full blown addict now and need something to take me off real life. It’s so sad but it’s the truth. I am truly all alone most of the time and I cannot bear the weight and extreme pain I feel. So I prefer to be in the void, living in a world of hallucinations where voices and creatures accompany me. It’s hurting me to the nth degree but I don’t care because I am at least not alone while tripping.

I really need to quit this and let me share one wise word from me: Even if you lose EVERYTHING and think you hit rock bottom, trust me, if you start taking illicit drugs it will get even WORSE and WORSE and WORSE. There is no other way, no safe use in a state of mind like mine. Hell, I would even say all drugs are demons from the pits of hell and they control you not you control them. Every junkie thinks he has everything under control but it’s a misconception. I thought I lost everyone but now due to my psychotic rants (and sending absurd messages) I lost basically all my friends that would have been there to support me through the tough times if I was sober.
Drugs make your life worse in long-term, mid-term and short-term… honestly all terms but the very minuscule moment of being high. The few hours which are nothing in the vastness of all those years. It’s honestly not worth it. I am at a point now where I would genuinely advice everyone, even those that just want to experiment and try out Cannabis once because hey it got legalised in another EU country now, so “it can’t be that bad right?” to don’t do it. Just don’t.

My mum found me today amidst piles of trash and dust and dirty clothes and forced me to throw out everything I have left plus she destroyed and threw away my vaporiser and grinder. Maybe I can quit now? I genuinely wish so but to be honest I feel like I past the point of no return with my drug bullshit. I am too scared of what life holds for me in sobriety. I just wish I could do it one more day… but that’s what all the junkies say. “Once an addict, always an addict” holds true. It’s when you first start abusing a substance is when the devil takes control over you.
Eg I took opiates for 6 months back in 2022 after I had a surgery and I was on crutches and in physical pain for a long time. I never felt like “oh I need this for my head”. No I was glad when I got off and the withdrawal was nothing. I was surprised af that I could just taper it off in a week after taking Tilidine that long. But yea it was use of the substance and not ABuse. Hence why I wasn’t an opiate addict back then. Now I am.

Well anyways that’s about it. Long post I know. Hopefully I can help somebody out and share that Cannabis CAN have devastating effects and shouldn’t be taken likely by any means.
Adieu!

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Thanks for sharing - cannabis can help to trigger scizophrenia symptoms in an extremely low % number of users no doubt about that at all.

Unfortunately for you, you come into that extemely small minority. The vast, vast majority are totally fine with cannabis though and it's genuinely medicinal for millions of people.

 

[LifeQuitter]

Thanks for sharing - cannabis can help to trigger scizophrenia symptoms in an extremely low % number of users no doubt about that at all.

Unfortunately for you, you come into that extemely small minority. The vast, vast majority are totally fine with cannabis though and it's genuinely medicinal for millions of people.

Yep. 100% correct.
I hope I can quit but tbh I don’t see a way. If I stay sober I probably will be miserable for the rest of eternity. I mean I am miserable asf in this drug hellhole too but at least I can escape the pain a couple of small moments a day compared to never from the waking to the sleep.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Thanks for sharing - cannabis can help to trigger scizophrenia symptoms in an extremely low % number of users no doubt about that at all.

Unfortunately for you, you come into that extemely small minority. The vast, vast majority are totally fine with cannabis though and it's genuinely medicinal for millions of people.

I really don't agree with this much at all. Lots of recent and well-designed studies, tons, about it as a prime factor leading to all kinds of mental health issues.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I really don't agree with this much at all. Lots of recent and well-designed studies, tons, about it as a prime factor leading to all kinds of mental health issues.

A prime factor leading to all kinds of mental health issues? Can you link me some studies? pm if need be (apols if derailing thread op)

My statement refers to my lived experience, professionally and personally involved for decades.

I have seen the damage it can do - imo/ime it can be substantial but extremely rare. Have never observed it to be directly causational either, moreso stimulate latent tendency (observe op's familial mental health predilection for example)

 

[LifeQuitter]

A prime factor leading to all kinds of mental health issues? Can you link me some studies? pm if need be (apols if derailing thread op)

My statement refers to my lived experience, professionally and personally involved for decades.

I have seen the damage it can do - imo/ime it can be substantial but extremely rare. Have never observed it to be directly causational either, moreso stimulate latent tendency (observe op's familial mental health predilection for example)

No worries about derailing.

I believe 100% the reason I react this way is because of my family history with schizophrenia. I know a lot of guys who only smoke weed and they are doing fine. I must say though that for academic careers (I am actually a med student at a University where only top 5% get in…. Crazy to think about right? It’s the truth though that’s not a junkie lie hahaha. Last year I worked 12h a day for half a year to pass the entrance test… never abused drugs back then) it’s a big no go as the ability to study and memorising goes down the gutter if you smoke a lot (not saying permanently but during use for sure). My colleagues who are doing good are all drug free (apart from Nicotine and occasionally Alcohol)

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

^^ yeah it's definitely no study aid, that's for sure!

I've never been a daytime smoker (occasionally do though) because I need as much concentration-power as I can muster during the daytime, and a single toke of weed noticably negatively affects my concentration levels. So it's a night-time thing for me.

 

[LifeQuitter]

^^ yeah it's definitely no study aid, that's for sure!

I've never been a daytime smoker (occasionally do though) because I need as much concentration-power as I can muster during the daytime, and a single toke of weed noticably negatively affects my concentration levels. So it's a night-time thing for me.

Yea better for night for sure!

Idk if I wouldn’t have psychosis on it and no cravings I would be down to do it occasionally to chill with friends. But I am telling you the cravings are insanity!! I threw all of my weed away in a dumpster that’s far away. The same day a couple of hours later I couldn’t bear it anymore went there again crawled through the fucking trash to get my stash again.
Idk but if I smoke weed it’s like crack to me. Ofc you don’t needa hit every 15 mins like with crack but every 2-3 hours or so.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Yea better for night for sure!

Idk if I wouldn’t have psychosis on it and no cravings I would be down to do it occasionally to chill with friends. But I am telling you the cravings are insanity!! I threw all of my weed away in a dumpster that’s far away. The same day a couple of hours later I couldn’t bear it anymore went there again crawled through the fucking trash to get my stash again.
Idk but if I smoke weed it’s like crack to me. Ofc you don’t needa hit every 15 mins like with crack but every 2-3 hours or so.

Gotta say that's the most extreme weed craving I've ever heard - unlucky!

I've known one person who became psychotic after first use cannabis and they were sectioned for a month iirc. They then tried it again a few years later with the exact same result. So after the second time they never touched it again.

Have also known a few people who have realised that cannabis prangs their anxiety levels - and they also sensibly gave up. Some kept trying though until it was crystal clear to them that they could not use the drug in any enjoyable or medicinal way

Sound like a major bummer to be in your situation where you know full well that it's really bad for you but you still crave and use it anyway. That's pretty much the definition of addiction isn't it? You are the first person I have heard express that to that extent in regard to cannabis and I've mixed fully in those circles over 35 years

 

[paranoid android]

^^ yeah it's definitely no study aid, that's for sure!

I've never been a daytime smoker (occasionally do though) because I need as much concentration-power as I can muster during the daytime, and a single toke of weed noticably negatively affects my concentration levels. So it's a night-time thing for me.

Weird because i find it is a study aid. I like getting stoned and reading marxist stuff and psychology as i find weed calms me down and helps my shitty attension span. Coffee plus a sativa really helps

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Weird because i find it is a study aid. I like getting stoned and reading marxist stuff and psychology as i find weed calms me down and helps my shitty attension span. Coffee plus a sativa really helps

We're all different eh - it's not well known as a concentration aid though I suppose

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Gotta say that's the most extreme weed craving I've ever heard - unlucky!

I've known one person who became psychotic after first use cannabis and they were sectioned for a month iirc. They then tried it again a few years later with the exact same result. So after the second time they never touched it again.

Have also known a few people who have realised that cannabis prangs their anxiety levels - and they also sensibly gave up. Some kept trying though until it was crystal clear to them that they could not use the drug in any enjoyable or medicinal way

Sound like a major bummer to be in your situation where you know full well that it's really bad for you but you still crave and use it anyway. That's pretty much the definition of addiction isn't it? You are the first person I have heard express that to that extent in regard to cannabis and I've mixed fully in those circles over 35 years

Fuckin kids these days are pussies mate. God help them if they ever experience a true addiction.

I've just said exactly the same to my kids today. They really haven't got a clue.

My son is really bad on the weed. He's like a fuckin smackhead. So was my daughter, but she's pretty much sorted herself out after having a child.

I understand that it's a lot stronger now than it was when we were young, but it's still just weed.

I actually suffered a lot of negative effects from cannabis when I was younger, so I can sympathise somewhat, this is why I only smoke at night and on my own. You need to know how to use it effectively.


But it's still just weed..

 

[burn out]

Thanks for sharing - cannabis can help to trigger scizophrenia symptoms in an extremely low % number of users no doubt about that at all.

Unfortunately for you, you come into that extemely small minority. The vast, vast majority are totally fine with cannabis though and it's genuinely medicinal for millions of people.

I have to disagree with this. While it might be very rare for cannabis to cause schizophrenia, in my opinion you are going way overboard in saying it's totally fine for the "vast, vast majority of users". That's simply not the case. A significant percentage of the youth today is dependent on cannabis. That alone should be quite concerning. Heavy cannabis use does not come without negative consequences. I don't have the time to link studies right now because I have to leave for work soon but just do some internet searches and check medical journal sites and you'll find some.

I should make it clear that my rather negative view of cannabis stems in part from the fact that when I was young I was told it was not addictive and basically harmless. This turned out to be a lie and I think it is a very dangerous lie because it leads people to be in denial about the negative effects their cannabis use is having or may have on them.

Also I'd like to point out that a lot of the harms that cannabis can do are not always immediately obvious or visible. For example, you might know a guy who smokes a lot of cannabis and seems relatively fine. What you don't see however, is that he would be far less depressed, have more energy, have better relationships, better overall mental health, less anxiety, better physical health, better diet and overall much better life circumstances were he not stoned all the time. Over the period of many years that amounts to tremendous harm done to his life which is often only apparent in retrospect.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I have to disagree with this. While it might be very rare for cannabis to cause schizophrenia, in my opinion you are going way overboard in saying it's totally fine for the "vast, vast majority of users". That's simply not the case. A significant percentage of the youth today is dependent on cannabis. That alone should be quite concerning. Heavy cannabis use does not come without negative consequences. I don't have the time to link studies right now because I have to leave for work soon but just do some internet searches and check medical journal sites and you'll find some.

I should make it clear that my rather negative view of cannabis stems in part from the fact that when I was young I was told it was not addictive and basically harmless. This turned out to be a lie and I think it is a very dangerous lie because it leads people to be in denial about the negative effects their cannabis use is having or may have on them.

Also I'd like to point out that a lot of the harms that cannabis can do are not always immediately obvious or visible. For example, you might know a guy who smokes a lot of cannabis and seems relatively fine. What you don't see however, is that he would be far less depressed, have more energy, have better relationships, better overall mental health, less anxiety, better physical health, better diet and overall much better life circumstances were he not stoned all the time. Over the period of many years that amounts to tremendous harm done to his life which is often only apparent in retrospect.

ok, I'll take one 'vast' out and leave it as 'the vast majority' then, and I'll stand by that as my longterm observation and opinion - you are of course free to differ in yours

 

[LifeQuitter]

Gotta say that's the most extreme weed craving I've ever heard - unlucky!

I've known one person who became psychotic after first use cannabis and they were sectioned for a month iirc. They then tried it again a few years later with the exact same result. So after the second time they never touched it again.

Have also known a few people who have realised that cannabis prangs their anxiety levels - and they also sensibly gave up. Some kept trying though until it was crystal clear to them that they could not use the drug in any enjoyable or medicinal way

Sound like a major bummer to be in your situation where you know full well that it's really bad for you but you still crave and use it anyway. That's pretty much the definition of addiction isn't it? You are the first person I have heard express that to that extent in regard to cannabis and I've mixed fully in those circles over 35 years

Thanks mate.
But yea that‘s the sad part about it all. Knowing how it ruins you, yet you can‘t help yourself. I listened to that podcast a couple of times
I can so relate with the first story of the girl who abuses DPH as their reasons and motives and stuff it is pretty similar with me and weed. Treating loneliness with a deliriant is fcking nuts though! But I can relate and feel it.

 

[LifeQuitter]

One thing I do wanna add here is the more I smoked weed the better I became in avoiding bad trip situations. Eg on my last trip yesterday I got scared to the bones when a door slammed due to the wind. I peeked outside my room and saw a vague shadowy figure in the darkness of the adjacent room that whispered something inaudible to me. I got hella scared but knew to immediately focus on the YT video to avoid a horror trip. Worked great.
Also after a while I got better at recognizing the effects as being under the influence. Like I can better identify “Okay these voices right now are just my shattered thoughts from THC” instead of not realizing that it’s due to the drug.

But yea if I tell the regular stoners I know how I react to Weed they are shocked xD

 

[DrZaius1]

I went into Psychosis after smoking weed. Idk if it was laced or not but I started hearing voices and seeing things even after I stopped for like 3 weeks whilst I was in the Psych ward. I didn’t even know what was happening to me at the time because no one told me anything until after I got injected and went home.

The Antipsychotics have completely destroyed my life. I’m in the process of trying to get something to kill myself right now as nothing has improved in 7 months. If I could go back in time I would’ve never touched the weed even though it was the best thing ever at the time.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I went into Psychosis after smoking weed. Idk if it was laced or not but I started hearing voices and seeing things even after I stopped for like 3 weeks whilst I was in the Psych ward. I didn’t even know what was happening to me at the time because no one told me anything until after I got injected and went home.

The Antipsychotics have completely destroyed my life. I’m in the process of trying to get something to kill myself right now as nothing has improved in 7 months. If I could go back in time I would’ve never touched the weed even though it was the best thing ever at the time.

That's rough to read, so sorry to hear this. Please consider giving life some more time before taking a decision you cannot reverse.

Can you tell us - was that your first time with cannabis and, if not, what's your cannabis history like? You carried on using cannabis after you became psychotic?

No stress if you don't wanna answer mate. If you ever need an ear please pm.

 

[LifeQuitter]

That's rough to read, so sorry to hear this. Please consider giving life some more time before taking a decision you cannot reverse.

Can you tell us - was that your first time with cannabis and, if not, what's your cannabis history like? You carried on using cannabis after you became psychotic?

No stress if you don't wanna answer mate. If you ever need an ear please pm.

Yea no worries.
First time I did was in february. Tried it twice. First joint then a couple of weeks later edibles. Both time uncontrollable schizophrenic psychosis. Then I stopped and I started again about a week ago when I got substituted and tapering off opiates.

Yup, I still have insane cravings and do it despite psychosis every time. It‘s sad that I prefer to live in a hallucinatory world over real life. But as I said, I ain’t got no reason to live, I am Bozo the sad clown, my life’s done for.
the more I smoked the better I became at controlling it and realising that I am under the influence though. In February both times I was so gone I didn‘t even know that this state would ever pass.

Edit:// oh fck I didn‘t see you quoted the other user instead of me hahaha. My bad my bad . Fortunately for me the psychosis symptoms resolve immediately at the come down.

 

[LifeQuitter]

I went into Psychosis after smoking weed. Idk if it was laced or not but I started hearing voices and seeing things even after I stopped for like 3 weeks whilst I was in the Psych ward. I didn’t even know what was happening to me at the time because no one told me anything until after I got injected and went home.

The Antipsychotics have completely destroyed my life. I’m in the process of trying to get something to kill myself right now as nothing has improved in 7 months. If I could go back in time I would’ve never touched the weed even though it was the best thing ever at the time.

Bro that‘s even worse than my sht. Sorry to hear. I relate to the sentiment of looking for a suicide drug though. In hindsight I also should have just pulled the plug and do an overdose immediately instead of “experiencing” first and becoming a Junkie.
Drugs are still my way of slow suicide.