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The bonnie and clyde dynamic

imagination.of.extremity said:
Hey--the part that sticks out the most to me from your original post is the "low self esteem" part.
No matter what their other traits are, I think relationships are healthiest when both people have OK/healthy self esteem.
Your girl should like herself and be comfortable with who she is. We all have our down days and moments of doubt but overall she should like herself, otherwise you'll be stuck always having to pick her up, dealing with insecurity, etc.
Look for good self esteem & confidence in addition to the initial attraction, and I think the rest will fall into place!
Click to expand...

I see.

Yeah we are all insecure.. On a spectrum.

I did need to dote on them for them to know i care, etc. I'm wondering why i attract people who may have not learned much self love yet. I have a couple ideas, but your main point indicates i should look for a "partnership" as opposed to a "dynamic"?
 
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madness00 said:
I see.

Yeah we are all insecure.. On a spectrum.

I did need to dote on them for them to know i care, etc. I'm wondering why i attract people who may have not learned much self love yet. I have a couple ideas, but your main point indicates i should look for a "partnership" as opposed to a "dynamic"?
Click to expand...

Can't actually look for a partnership though as it's something that forms and isn't predictable. Looking for anything is problematic in itself .

Not that I am a relationship guru as have only ever attracted seriously cray-cray in (initial) disguise my whole life
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
Can't actually look for a partnership though as it's something that forms and isn't predictable. Looking for anything is problematic in itself .

Not that I am a relationship guru as have only ever attracted seriously cray-cray in (initial) disguise my whole life
Click to expand...

Interesting.

Maybe i should just work on myself and let it happen.

But i feel like i always do that.
 
madness00 said:
Interesting.

Maybe i should just work on myself and let it happen.

But i feel like i always do that.
Click to expand...
Nailed it. Work on yourself, make yourself happy. Get comfortable being alone and being happy with just you. If you’re not happy you need to figure out why and try to change things.

No one will ever be truly happy with anyone else if they aren’t first happy with themselves. That’s why couples argue and fight, they project all their bullshit on their partner. Best to deal with your own bullshit first. Ya know?

You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you don’t love yourself you’ll never be able to truly love anyone else.
 
Madness,
One thing I have noticed with many of my friends is that they cry a lot more than I do. Some of them cry on a weekly basis over the most ridiculous stuff. I’m not sure why they are so thin skinned. I have one friend that will cry if someone just raises their voice at her. I might get teary eyed 2 times yearly and it’s usually because I injured myself.
And then there’s getting upset over dumb stuff. Several of my friends are of the opinion that pornography constitutes cheating and they get oh so upset with their “cheating” partners. I have tried to explain that men are visual creatures and this is not infidelity but I get nowhere with this. It takes quite a bit to get me angry, many of my friends are not like this and sometimes it really seems as though they are looking for things to be angry about with their partners. I don’t really get it.
Females are mysterious creatures but rest assured, they are not all delicate flowers and some will give you a run for your money! I think you just have to find the right one.
You live in a large city so I am sure there’re some girls that would meet your desires near you now. Maybe find a nice, sassy Italian girl who can cook you fabulous food or an Irish girl who will put you in your place and drink with you. Venus awaits.
 
Who can resist this?
TVRpGYX.jpg
 
@BellaJewel

You're right - not all women are delicate flowers.

Maybe you're right - i do need someone who can, when needed, "put me in my place". I have an ex who would try to put me in my place, but i was a bit younger and i didn't really respect what she was trying to do. I didn't get angry, i just didn't listen.

Apparently we had a 6 hour ground breaking skype conversation that brought us together and part of it was her putting me in my place. I kid you not i don't remember more than 15 minutes of it.

This thread was spurred by a regular at work. She's straight forward, no bullshit, seemingly not overly emotional, etc some people might even find her rude. But i really like her. And we hit it off once making sexual innuendos in regards to putting her credit card in the slot. We went back and forth several times, not even laughing out loud, just smiling at each other pretty stone cold serious. It was wicked cool lol.

Anyway, on second thought i DO like the cuties that i can protect.

Maybe I'm thinking about this too black and white.

There's gotta be women who are laid back, thick skinned but still cute and gentle.
 
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