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Suicidal thoughts

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,998
My life is in shambles. I'm on S.S.I. disability and I live with my aunt. I contemplate suicide everyday. I don't see a reason to live as I feel like a loser. I'm 31 and in bad health. And have a felony so can't find anywhere to live. I really wish I could find the courage to kill myself. I have bad OCD where I obsess/think about the same things all day everyday. Advice?
 
I would but that will cause too much attention. I figured I'd just see if anybody had any pointers.
 
jasperkent said:
99.99999999999% of the world is not thinking about you AT ALL.
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That is comforting. Because this whole time I thought everyone in the world was looking through my eyes and recording what I was seeing, hearing, feeling etc...
 
Jabberwocky said:
My life is in shambles. I'm on S.S.I. disability and I live with my aunt. I contemplate suicide everyday. I don't see a reason to live as I feel like a loser. I'm 31 and in bad health. And have a felony so can't find anywhere to live. I really wish I could find the courage to kill myself. I have bad OCD where I obsess/think about the same things all day everyday. Advice?
Click to expand...
hey the best advice I got is that you never know what will happen next. Would you have thought 10 years ago you will be here living this moment? A friend of mine said that life is like a movie right? and i'm the type of person that finishes movies no matter how bad they are just out of curiosity what will happen next. I know this is a super late reply but hopefully you're doing better now. That being said I'm on speed for 3 days already. I'm done with this stupid movie
 
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vorticella said:
hey the best advice I got is that you never know what will happen next. Would you have thought 10 years ago you will be here living this moment? A friend of mine said that life is like a movie right? and i'm the type of person that finishes movies no matter how bad they are just out of curiosity what will happen next. I know this is a super late reply but hopefully you're doing better now. That being said I'm on speed for 3 days already. I'm done with this stupid movie
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Thank you so much for replying to this thread however the OP has since left the site. Your words will not go unheard though and I am sure that someone who needs to read them will gain some perspective from what you said.

I hope you manage to get some much needed sleep soon, you will feel so much better. Perhaps try to eat something, have a drink of water or a gatorade, then get some sleep. Let us know how you go.
 
I Hope you are well today. This is from June of 2022, so if you are still here, I sincerely hope you are still here.
 
There's still some fight left in you. Otherwise you wouldn't even bother posting here. I'm honestly terrible at comforting people who are in pain or depressed, especially when I'm also depressed.

But it's all we can do is try to support each other.
When I was going through some shit, I volunteered at a shelter, and later a half way house. There would be mer minutes of each day that I could make someone else smile. Mostly it sucked, lots of fights, seeing others suffer without being able to help. As bad as I got with drugs I never lost my compassion for others.

You gotta believe it can be better.

Never thought I'd make it this far. It was worth the effort tho
 
I have them also. Fleeting, but I have them. My thoughts are derived by media images I guess. Not to mention how film and literature has romanticized suicide. It's a roller coaster caused by chemicals. The meds and drugs do nothing but make things worse in the long run. Temporary relief but long term struggle. Hang in there! Bad pun!! Not intended! Lol
 
Do u have a shrink/ You may want to talk to them about this. There are lots of other treatments if yours aren t working
 
Yes I do, thank you. 8 years now. I should move on to a new one as our relationship appears to have run its course. She still acts surprised about things I've told her many times before, is an example. Her favorite "cure" is meds first. I've gone through many meds and have tried many exercises. I feel like I just accept it now, and try to simply manage my mind. Strange existence, to be honest. But at the least, lit is still an existence. I have a son that keeps me forging ahead. I just do not want to hit a bottom that I can't get out of. Thank you for your feedback.
 
Right on! He is 11, soon to be 12. I was always his super hero. I'm afraid to let him down, so I continue to fight each day. I hide most of my hardships from him so as not to impact him. One thing I know I'm good at it being a parent in regards to guidance and teaching. My life does not mirror what I instruct him on but I suppose that is what it is to be. Do as I say, not as I do is sincerely playing out in my life. Thank you again.
 
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