Hello, Ok so i'm new here and not entirely sure how this works but i'm looking for some reassurance.
About 16 days ago i tried MDMA for the first time. I stupidly took around half a g which i have since found out is quite a lot for your first time. Both myself and my friend were sick however this wasn't really an issue as we were both enjoying the affects of the mdma and it didn't feel at all unpleasant to vomit, i put it down to something we had eaten prior or the mdma taking affect in a dodgy way. We were in her house as we knew that was where we would feel most comfortable and had read the horror storied of taking it at clubs. We both had a great night. I did however hallucinate, to the point where i was seeing people that werent there and talking to a bag and a hat for around 30 minutes thinking the hat was a cat and the bag was a baby rihno (they were moving and speaking back to me). I was also coming out with strange things and not making sense when i was saying things. For instance i was lying on the ground talking about how "they wouldn't be too pleased" and in my head seeing myself be on my phone then opening my eyes and realising my phone wasnt even in my hand. I also kept thinking my friend was with me after she had went to bed and continued having conversations with her and realising she wasn't there and questioning why this was happening. She did not exerience anything like this and had taken mdma once before we had and again hadn't experienced anything like this. I wasn't overly concerned as I had had a pretty great night so didn't think it was anything to worry about.
Fast forward to 4 days later and I stupidly thought taking more mdma would be a great idea. I must have taken about half a gram again however i'm not 100% sure. This time I wasnt seeing people or hearing voices but there was still some sense of not being at all there completely and i was still talking nonsense and thinking things such as i had to answer the phone to my friend when she wasnt even calling. Again didn't think much of this. When the comedown started to hit i was feeling like i was going to be sick but couldnt physically bring anything up. I was overheating and feeling extremely dehydrated but i knew that was what happened so i managed it alright. I feel like i should have just listened to my body and not taken any more but me being stupid yet again took some more (all in all it was about half a gram or just over that night, took less the first hit then later on thought because i'd taken half a g my first time i would be fine) . This was a terrible idea. I couldn't stop shaking and feeling like i was going to be sick. It also wore off a lot quicker than the first hit and it was about 7am by this point. I hadn't eaten anything in hours because the thought of food was too much to even bare, I was also running on very very very little sleep as i had barely slept since taking the mdma initially.
So eventually i decided to try and sleep but soon began getting sharp pains in my chest, feeling put of breath and uncontrolably twitching. I was convinced I was having a heart attack. After what felt like forever the pain subsided and i was left with a tingling sensation in my chest and arm. Although uncomfortable the feeling was barable so i managed to get about an hours sleep. That was about 12 days ago and since I have had the tingling sensation in my left arm and chest. It was constant up until about 3 days ago. Now it comes and goes and doesn't tend to be as strong.
Naturally i was worried and paranoid, thinking i'd messed up my heart so went to see my out of hours GP. I was told it was anxiety worsened or brought on by taking the MDMA as bloods and everything else came back perfectly fine. A couple of days after i went to my GP about other health issues however explained i was still getting the sensation. This GP told me she thought it was muscle or nerve damage and gave me ibprofen to take for two weeks (which i haven't touched as I know for a fact it isn't that).
I've been searching google every single day since the second time taking it and i'm beginning to realise it's anxiety. This is terrifying and so frustrating for me as i never really thought i was an anxious person (however have been struggling with depression for a good few years) and now i'm having what i feel are "mini panic attacks" once a day which consists of a pressure in my head, ringing in my ears, rapid and then very slow heartbeat, palpitations, vision going dark and this tingling sensation in my arm/chest. On top of this some days i feel like I can eat alright and others i've completely lost my appetite and find it difficult to eat anything.
Firstly i'm worried about the hallucinations etc as they only happened to me and if the mdma was laced then surely it would have had the same affect on other people? This makes me worry that i have some underlying mental health issues however right now i am being overly paranoid with everything.
Secondly, I have been a regular weed smoker for around 2 years now and I cant have a joint or take a bong now without having these "mini panic attacks" and freling like my hearts going to explode out my chest. This really upsets me and frustrates me as I do not drink so having a j is my go to if im wanting to relax or let loose. I also just enjoy being around good company, having a smoke and chilling and i'm worried i wont ever be able to do this anymore.
Thirdly, Upon my research into all of this i came across something called substance induced anxiety disorder which basically is the onset or worsening of anxiety after taking a substance such as MDMA. From the threads i have read people are saying it can take anywhere between 3-12 months to properly get rid of this but i honestly dont know if i can go 12 months like this as i have also recently just started my second year at college and it really isn't helping in terms of stressing me out amd making me more anxious. I guess im just looking for answers that i know may not exist and a bit of reassurance that this will go away.
I'm planning on eating healthier and doing more exercise, i'm also going to try cut out junk foods as much as i can (i do love myself a load of fatty/carby foods and sweet treats. I cant help it). If someone could recommend any vitamin supplements or anything i can do to get back on track as soon as possible that would be very much appreciated as I am quite against the idea of taking medication for anxiety/depression as i wouldn't want to become dependent on them.
Thanks guys
and apologies if there are any typos i'm exhausted
About 16 days ago i tried MDMA for the first time. I stupidly took around half a g which i have since found out is quite a lot for your first time. Both myself and my friend were sick however this wasn't really an issue as we were both enjoying the affects of the mdma and it didn't feel at all unpleasant to vomit, i put it down to something we had eaten prior or the mdma taking affect in a dodgy way. We were in her house as we knew that was where we would feel most comfortable and had read the horror storied of taking it at clubs. We both had a great night. I did however hallucinate, to the point where i was seeing people that werent there and talking to a bag and a hat for around 30 minutes thinking the hat was a cat and the bag was a baby rihno (they were moving and speaking back to me). I was also coming out with strange things and not making sense when i was saying things. For instance i was lying on the ground talking about how "they wouldn't be too pleased" and in my head seeing myself be on my phone then opening my eyes and realising my phone wasnt even in my hand. I also kept thinking my friend was with me after she had went to bed and continued having conversations with her and realising she wasn't there and questioning why this was happening. She did not exerience anything like this and had taken mdma once before we had and again hadn't experienced anything like this. I wasn't overly concerned as I had had a pretty great night so didn't think it was anything to worry about.
Fast forward to 4 days later and I stupidly thought taking more mdma would be a great idea. I must have taken about half a gram again however i'm not 100% sure. This time I wasnt seeing people or hearing voices but there was still some sense of not being at all there completely and i was still talking nonsense and thinking things such as i had to answer the phone to my friend when she wasnt even calling. Again didn't think much of this. When the comedown started to hit i was feeling like i was going to be sick but couldnt physically bring anything up. I was overheating and feeling extremely dehydrated but i knew that was what happened so i managed it alright. I feel like i should have just listened to my body and not taken any more but me being stupid yet again took some more (all in all it was about half a gram or just over that night, took less the first hit then later on thought because i'd taken half a g my first time i would be fine) . This was a terrible idea. I couldn't stop shaking and feeling like i was going to be sick. It also wore off a lot quicker than the first hit and it was about 7am by this point. I hadn't eaten anything in hours because the thought of food was too much to even bare, I was also running on very very very little sleep as i had barely slept since taking the mdma initially.
So eventually i decided to try and sleep but soon began getting sharp pains in my chest, feeling put of breath and uncontrolably twitching. I was convinced I was having a heart attack. After what felt like forever the pain subsided and i was left with a tingling sensation in my chest and arm. Although uncomfortable the feeling was barable so i managed to get about an hours sleep. That was about 12 days ago and since I have had the tingling sensation in my left arm and chest. It was constant up until about 3 days ago. Now it comes and goes and doesn't tend to be as strong.
Naturally i was worried and paranoid, thinking i'd messed up my heart so went to see my out of hours GP. I was told it was anxiety worsened or brought on by taking the MDMA as bloods and everything else came back perfectly fine. A couple of days after i went to my GP about other health issues however explained i was still getting the sensation. This GP told me she thought it was muscle or nerve damage and gave me ibprofen to take for two weeks (which i haven't touched as I know for a fact it isn't that).
I've been searching google every single day since the second time taking it and i'm beginning to realise it's anxiety. This is terrifying and so frustrating for me as i never really thought i was an anxious person (however have been struggling with depression for a good few years) and now i'm having what i feel are "mini panic attacks" once a day which consists of a pressure in my head, ringing in my ears, rapid and then very slow heartbeat, palpitations, vision going dark and this tingling sensation in my arm/chest. On top of this some days i feel like I can eat alright and others i've completely lost my appetite and find it difficult to eat anything.
Firstly i'm worried about the hallucinations etc as they only happened to me and if the mdma was laced then surely it would have had the same affect on other people? This makes me worry that i have some underlying mental health issues however right now i am being overly paranoid with everything.
Secondly, I have been a regular weed smoker for around 2 years now and I cant have a joint or take a bong now without having these "mini panic attacks" and freling like my hearts going to explode out my chest. This really upsets me and frustrates me as I do not drink so having a j is my go to if im wanting to relax or let loose. I also just enjoy being around good company, having a smoke and chilling and i'm worried i wont ever be able to do this anymore.
Thirdly, Upon my research into all of this i came across something called substance induced anxiety disorder which basically is the onset or worsening of anxiety after taking a substance such as MDMA. From the threads i have read people are saying it can take anywhere between 3-12 months to properly get rid of this but i honestly dont know if i can go 12 months like this as i have also recently just started my second year at college and it really isn't helping in terms of stressing me out amd making me more anxious. I guess im just looking for answers that i know may not exist and a bit of reassurance that this will go away.
I'm planning on eating healthier and doing more exercise, i'm also going to try cut out junk foods as much as i can (i do love myself a load of fatty/carby foods and sweet treats. I cant help it). If someone could recommend any vitamin supplements or anything i can do to get back on track as soon as possible that would be very much appreciated as I am quite against the idea of taking medication for anxiety/depression as i wouldn't want to become dependent on them.
Thanks guys
and apologies if there are any typos i'm exhausted