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Subs didn't work :(

I'm in Atlanta. So, yes, the US. I'm going to try and talk to the Dr. tomorrow when I go in to take my meds about upping it.

I'm committed to quitting, I really am. I regret not bringing my H dose down significantly before I started all this. I've been going through a shitty breakup and used a lot more than usual the week before I started this. I know I just need to deal with the wds and not use and eventually my body will become used to the subs, I'm just a big ole baby when it comes to wd pain. Like I said, dealer's # deleted and I don't know anywhere else to get opiates or anyone else who has his number.
 
Also, do you think maybe the H use is all in my head? Like, it isn't making me feel better I just feel like it is? I started feeling better the moment the dope boy put it in my hand. I almost contemplated not taking it thinking maybe the subs just took a while to kick in, But the junkie in me did it anyways.

Nose is still running and pupils still large AF so maybe this is mental.
 
Yeah it might be psychological relief.

It is hard to give up a ROA.

the brain develops a huge association to use and relief. It’s hard to break that connection.
 
I figured as much. Anyways, I'm going to talk to mr Dr. about maybe trying to up the dosage and NOT USE H tomorrow even if I feel like shit. I need to remember the feeling like shit part will pass...I'm probably just prolonging it by continuing to snort dope.
 
I think in some cases, as metabolic rates vary, you may be right.. however Bupe does not fully stimulate the receptors in the same way Methadone does.. and has a stronger bond.. hence if we have a crank of H after Bupe its partially blocked. I can only offer advice based on my experiences.. for me and many many people ive known over the years.. sure you can reduce real low on Meth, but you'll be withdrawing for substantially longer than what you might if you'd used Bupe.. on another note.. i straight up witnessed a lass come off 180ml a day of methadone at Wat Thamkrabok Temple in Thailand in a week using their purging ceremonies and medicine.. my thoughts are it maybe an organic DMT and other psychotropic mix.. it got me off a pretty heavy morphine sulph and diaz habit to a point i was sleeping 6-7 hrs after 4 days of purging... our fears conquer us and are 99% of our addiction.. and yes im still an addict..however i dont use at the moment..

if you are able to get over to Thailand, detox is free... and you can stay as long as you want.. but its hardcore..have a look at Wat Thamkrabok, Saraburi..

lightnpeace
 
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I've tried methadone and subs, it always annoyed me how awful you feel the first week on subs. Much easier to come off of though.

These days methadone is all I'll try but subs "technically" have a higher success rate, right?
 
I've rarely seen bupe not work for someone. Now, there is the exception and you could be part of that. But I would keep upping the dose with the doc's supervision and see if you get results. I know it's frustrating but hang in there you will get relief one way or another.

Keep us updated, there is a lot of knowledge and experience on this board to help you through this.
 
Feeling a bit better off 12 mg. Only real symptom seems to be my inability to get to the right body temp...cold then hot then back to cold again. No body pain of stomach issues though, so thats a plus.
 
It'll stabilize in a day or two if you don't use anymore heroin
 
Sounds like you are on your way. Good luck and keep us posted. You deleted that number. No more H.
 
Yeah, I'm still hurting a bit but have come to the realization that if I use H to get rid of the few symptoms I have I'll never get any better. so I[m trucking through today without. No matter how bad I feel :/
 
ladyhlove said:
How have you been feeling, Kat?
Click to expand...

At the moment, pretty stable. Kinda unmotivated and depressed though. This is now day 5 at 1 mg a day of sub, and seven days total of subs... 8 days since my DOC. My plan is a short term taper, and like you I am WD wuss lol.

In addition to opiates, I have an alcohol issue which I fighting to keep at bay. Cannabis helps a great deal. Only two light beers last night which I chalk up to a win.

Where is your head at, Lady?
 
Yeah, I have similar issues with alcohol.

I used to be a big drinker in my younger years (12 years as a bartender...comes with the territory) and had gotten that pretty under control (learned some moderation, mainly due to nasty hangovers I try to avoid). Using opiates actually helped curb my drinking cravings which is one of the reasons I used. I was able to keep myself under a couple of drinks while out socially if I was high af off an opiate. I don't know if I'm ready to go "full sober" yet but I'm definitely not going to overinduldge in alcohol for awhile. Went out with a buddy of mine last night for tacos and I had one beer.

I've been telling all my friends about my hidden problem lately, and they have been nothing but incredibly supportive (as is my ex who broke up with me last week bc of my opiate addiction). I figure not letting this be my little secret anymore helps me be more accountable for my future actions. I feel like shit right now, but I keep telling myself this isn't forever and that if I keep using I am just going to have to do this withdrawal time and time again. My ex boyfriend made a good point to me yesterday when I called him whining about how bad I felt, he said "This moment right now? Remember it. Remember it every time you think you can just take one pill and not get back into this. Remember this is what it does to you." and those words were powerful to me. Just gotta keep trucking for a few more days and the physical parts will be over and it'll be easier for me to get out and do more things in the world that bring me joy that aren't pills or heroin. I used to be a really big hiker (did the whole AT when I was 22) and I plan on doing some hikes soon which is giving me something to look forward to. I'm also fortunate that I'm an extroverted person, so getting out there and doing things with people isn't too hard for me.

And yes, cannibis helps tremendously for me. I took a puff off my buddy's vape pen last night and felt a lot better. Unfortunately the program I'm in does monthly drug tests and I can never phase up (which gives you more take home meds, requires less counselor appts etc) if I keep failing, even if its just THC. I had THC in my system from this past weekend before I was inducted so I had it on my drug test on my first day. I wont be tested again for another month, so I figure last night was my last chance. It's a shame I don't live in a legal state, because cannibis helps...so much!

I suffer from depression too (which I self medicated with opiates for the past 3 years on and off) so I know how you're feeling. Just remember, it'll pass and everything will be better sooner than you believe. If you cave to the opes you're just going to have to keep going through this over and over..there's no end game where things work out well for you and you can still be high all the time. Well, unless you OD from opiates that is. I'm 31, way too young for all that!
 
One negative thought pattern I have gotten into, which I have in the past, is thinking I'll be able to use opiates recreationally again..which I did for years before becoming a full blown addict. But. I realize I was only able to do that because I had no steady source (used to only use when I found some in my parents house, had a friend selling extras after a surgery etc). I now know about 6 people who are on constant opiates due to chronic conditions who sell their pills to live in addition to their disability. If I use again, I will, no doubt, keep using. And one night of fun and relief is NOT WORTH this.
 
Oh, and last but not least, I'm feeling a bit better now. I went and got my winter coat from my car and am sitting at my desk in it (I'm a paralegal). I may look like an idiot, but no more chills haha
 
Hi ll, 3 years ago I had a huge h habit and pills, not proud I inducted on 8mg with no relief, it took me a 1 time dose of 16mg to start to feel better which I did, it is quite the process I stabilized after about 4 days, give yourself about week and you will start to feel better. Congrats on your decision, hang in there
 
Thanks! I feel a bit better at 12mg and have been strong so far through half of the work day...(yesterday I sat through about an hour of work before making an excuse to run an errand aka meet the dope boy). I'm trying to stick just with the subs and trust that I feel much better in a few days. I'm no longer a bartender full time but I still work big music festivals and events from time to time (lots and lots of money in that) and I have a big music festival I'm working this weekend coming up. During those, you're so busy its impossible to think about anything else except what you're doing so I think it'll be a nice distraction for me.
 
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