Stuck

[cyberius]

Ive been dating this one girl for 6 years. I love her dearly but she doesn't give me a sort of sexual validation or sense of security.. I'm the only one with the problem and she doesn't like sharing her emotions with me and she reacts angrily towards me when I share mine.

I'm dating this other girl too to pick up the slack and she does more then enough to make me feel sexy and loved. I feel so safe talking to her and I feel so connected..

I want to fix things with the first girl but it seems beyond repair to me right now. What can be done?

 

[SamanthaB]

Dear Cyberius,

You definitely do have a problem. I think that what you mean by "sexual validation" and "sense of security" is that the 2nd woman makes you feel very sexy, loved and connected as well as safe sharing your feelings with her. These are all things that one would hopefully seek out in a relationship with a person that they would choose to be with. All of them are extremely important if you want to have the best chance of a successful relationship. Unfortunately, you do not feel any of those things with the 1st woman, and any attempts to change things with her are met with anger. I find it interesting that you say you "love her dearly." What do you think is holding you together with her?

 

[Markomarkh]

You gotta ask yourself which girl you really want?

 

[chompy]

Treat that bitch like an investment. You are putting a lot of energy into her and she isn't reciprocating. Dump her now and make her feel it. I don't have any other ideas.

 

[Markomarkh]

Treat that bitch like an investment. You are putting a lot of energy into her and she isn't reciprocating. Dump her now and make her feel it. I don't have any other ideas.

I don’t recommend taking this advice above and telling people what to do can make things worse. He can only make his own mind.

 

[JahSEEuS]

Treat that bitch like an investment. You are putting a lot of energy into her and she isn't reciprocating. Dump her now and make her feel it. I don't have any other ideas.

Wow.

Other than a perceived investment of time in girl #1, girl #2 seems to be all the things that are amazing about a relationship.

I'm guessing girl #1 is more visually appealing?

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

You gotta go with someone who doesn't make you feel insecure sexually. You'll be in your head too much while trying to perform and it can cause erectile dysfunction.

My ex boyfriend didn't feel secure with me in bed and no matter how much I tried to reassure him, it didn't really help. I guess my body language gave it away that he wasn't satisfying me sexually. Both of us needed to move on and we had been together 6+ years too.

You have to be with someone really into you or you'll be miserable.