- Joined
- Jul 8, 2017
- Messages
- 1,428
So I can't post any specific details about this and I do not want to get into heaps of details, but last year in around November j was raped by a man that I had met once years before.
It really affected me, because not only had I gone with a 'safe person' and not someone high risk when I met up with him, which I have a propensity to do to self harm, but he also did literally exactly what I explicitly told him over text I was not okay with and which he accepted.
Additionally, he used very heavily gendered language regarding my body which was both a trauma trigger and heavily dysphoric. He also forced me to be submissive for him which was traumatic as well.
When I reported it, I did it because I hoped even just having it reported would scare him. I felt an obligation to do it, as i felt he was dangerous for other trans men in my city. Given the first time I met with him he was perfectly pleasant (I had accidently forgot to write in my name I was trans and only had it in my bio and thought I was gonna get hate crimed but he told me it was all good), so I was concerned that this was not an isolated incident.
While I had no physical evidence, when I realised I had his number I looked him up. I took screenshots of the entire conversation, what I said was and wasn't okay, him agreeing, his profiles, my profiles, everything.
The police requested my therapist who saw me the morning after it happened to make a statement as he is the first witness. A support worker made a critical incident report to the funding organisation because of the event and he made a statement. My GP records showing I attended and was referred to the state sexual assault counselling service were requested plus the documents from him sectioning me when I was suicidal because of what happened. My hospital records, evidence of attendance at counselling, and the file from my surgeon I called the next day asking if he had done any damage.
They also asked for the screenshots. My counsellor at the sexual assault service told me (something I should have known as a law graduate) that physical evidence isn't what makes or breaks these cases. It's the issue of consent. And it's black and white in the screenshots.
After 6 months of no news I recently found out he is a really high up medical professional at my local state hospital. Then this morning, I was informed that the case is proceeding to me being proofed as a witness and picking out a photo of him.
I was able to give my statement as a vulnerable person, meaning I could bring a support person, and it was recorded on video. This is likely due to the fact that when I initially just reported the crime I had a huge breakdown, and I proceeded to have an even bigger one while giving my statement.
I am hugely stressed about this. I want to take it to the end of the court process to protect other trans men, and because a person in his role shouldn't keep their position if they are capable of this.
I realised that he didn't lie about his job for any reason to do with security. He lied because he full well knew that what he was doing was wrong.
In my state, autistic people (like myself) have special protections during the court process. The defence is limited in how harshly they can question me.
I am still stressed about this all. I am worried things about my dad will be brought up to contextualise things, or some of my MH diagnoses.
At the moment I am just looking for some reassurance from people that I am doing the right thing.
It really affected me, because not only had I gone with a 'safe person' and not someone high risk when I met up with him, which I have a propensity to do to self harm, but he also did literally exactly what I explicitly told him over text I was not okay with and which he accepted.
Additionally, he used very heavily gendered language regarding my body which was both a trauma trigger and heavily dysphoric. He also forced me to be submissive for him which was traumatic as well.
When I reported it, I did it because I hoped even just having it reported would scare him. I felt an obligation to do it, as i felt he was dangerous for other trans men in my city. Given the first time I met with him he was perfectly pleasant (I had accidently forgot to write in my name I was trans and only had it in my bio and thought I was gonna get hate crimed but he told me it was all good), so I was concerned that this was not an isolated incident.
While I had no physical evidence, when I realised I had his number I looked him up. I took screenshots of the entire conversation, what I said was and wasn't okay, him agreeing, his profiles, my profiles, everything.
The police requested my therapist who saw me the morning after it happened to make a statement as he is the first witness. A support worker made a critical incident report to the funding organisation because of the event and he made a statement. My GP records showing I attended and was referred to the state sexual assault counselling service were requested plus the documents from him sectioning me when I was suicidal because of what happened. My hospital records, evidence of attendance at counselling, and the file from my surgeon I called the next day asking if he had done any damage.
They also asked for the screenshots. My counsellor at the sexual assault service told me (something I should have known as a law graduate) that physical evidence isn't what makes or breaks these cases. It's the issue of consent. And it's black and white in the screenshots.
After 6 months of no news I recently found out he is a really high up medical professional at my local state hospital. Then this morning, I was informed that the case is proceeding to me being proofed as a witness and picking out a photo of him.
I was able to give my statement as a vulnerable person, meaning I could bring a support person, and it was recorded on video. This is likely due to the fact that when I initially just reported the crime I had a huge breakdown, and I proceeded to have an even bigger one while giving my statement.
I am hugely stressed about this. I want to take it to the end of the court process to protect other trans men, and because a person in his role shouldn't keep their position if they are capable of this.
I realised that he didn't lie about his job for any reason to do with security. He lied because he full well knew that what he was doing was wrong.
In my state, autistic people (like myself) have special protections during the court process. The defence is limited in how harshly they can question me.
I am still stressed about this all. I am worried things about my dad will be brought up to contextualise things, or some of my MH diagnoses.
At the moment I am just looking for some reassurance from people that I am doing the right thing.