Stillkickin's attempt at a detox journal - Opiates

[stillkickin]

Got through the workday and somehow found it in me to go to the gym. Just did a light chest/tri day and a good 20 minutes of cardio along with another 7 in the sauna. My body feels pretty trashed but I'm about to eat dinner and play some halo with my buddy. Things could be much worse so I'm reminding myself of that often to try and avoid the bad thought patterns. So easy to get sucked into them. Tomorrow is a work from home day so I can use that as a reprieve from the social interactions in the office.

 

[stillkickin]

Today is a bit easier than yesterday so far. Really tired and always cold. Constant goose flesh... Took .1mg of clonodine and that made me more groggy but did help a bit with the temp issues. Just working from home trying to get a few things done. Have a long night tomorrow reviewing networking issues on hardware out west. I've got to stand up about a half mill worth of servers by tomorrow evening (this has been a month long process including flying out to the data center myself last month). Stressful stuff as it's completely on my shoulders. They're going to support a multi-million dollar application agreement for security and the deadline is end of week. I'll be happy when it's all over.

I'm going to try to make it back out the gym for back/shoulders and more cardio. I'm pretty sore today from the workout yesterday. Damn I'm groggy. Been listening to this song quite a bit lately.



This one hits me quite a bit. I'm working hard to be an example for my younger sister who's on pain meds but also on disability. I know she's capable of so much more. I have a very small family at this point and we're very close due to the following reasons. We unexpectedly lost my older sister to a blood clot that went to her lungs in Nov of 2001. I woke up to my mother screaming and came in the living room to find her face down on the carpet. My memory for the next few hours is completely blacked out. My mother told me about 5 years ago that I was on the phone with the paramedics and was being walked through trying to resuscitate her until they got there. She had already been gone for several hours though at that point. My mother is an absolute saint and the person I admire the most in the world based on what she's been through and she's still the most genuinely kind and sweet person I've ever met. Just a year before my sister passed, my parents were divorced. Father was very verbally abusive to the whole family.

I had about 6-7 months of legit clean time last year and in that time my younger sister saw what I was accomplishing and got down from 80+mg of oxy a day down to 60mg of hydro. I wanted to get off the SSRIs and benzos and that allowed me to rationalize going back on smaller amounts of opiates. I'm now at the tail end of trying to finish that and I'll be completely off all meds and finally just be me for the first time that I can remember.

Going through this shit makes you remember all those real thoughts that you've been avoiding for so long. Feelings come to the surface that have been suppressed for so long. They become really difficult to manage. I rarely share this information about me to anyone like most on here. It will probably provide some context though to how I fell into this whole mess in addition to the bad divorce in 2012. When I first detoxed from 300-400mg of oxy a day at the end of 2013 I was hit so fuckin hard by all those feelings. It's taken the last 2 years of fighting emotions and learning how to deal with all the shit from the past. I'm in a lot better place mentally than when I first came off everything though. I'm praying for the strength to make it stick and not become overwhelmed by all the issues of my past I've had to overcome.

Wow that was a big share ...

-SK

 

[RoxieRoad]

Got through the workday and somehow found it in me to go to the gym. Just did a light chest/tri day and a good 20 minutes of cardio along with another 7 in the sauna. My body feels pretty trashed but I'm about to eat dinner and play some halo with my buddy. Things could be much worse so I'm reminding myself of that often to try and avoid the bad thought patterns. So easy to get sucked into them. Tomorrow is a work from home day so I can use that as a reprieve from the social interactions in the office.

Hey man, stick with it. Glad to hear you are still making efforts to get this done. Check the PM I sent you, I have read a few books lately that I would like to send you. Two in particular have been inspirational, and honestly helped me get my mindset in the right place to accomplish this and I feel like you might be able to take something from them too. I love playing Halo man, it's my favorite game ever. Stick with the gym it is a good break for your mind and healthy too. Don't forget by the time spring rolls around and you have put this shit behind you, you'll be ready for the beach nomsayin? Everything worth doing is hard.

For anyone reading this post that might want to know what the books are:

1)The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
2)THINK and GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill

GL to you Stillkickin and Merry Christmas my dude

 

[stillkickin]

Time for my Sunday night check-in. Things have been so-so. I did end up taking a few norcos over the family time but not for the last 2 days. I'm so damn close but feel SOOO far away from the final kick. I have a plan for the final kick and I just gotta make it stick. I'm shooting for a reasonable week (no hard binges) and I'll be able to take a long weekend to make the jump off. I should have my work project wrapped up for good in the next 48 hours. I'll no longer be on-call as of tomorrow morning and I believe I can wrangle some comp time to make for the long weekend once I'm done with work (Thursday).

I seem to be able to survive the initial 48 hours as hard as they are but that has always left me with going to work on day 3 or 4. I think most can relate to those day 3/4 struggles. The body just starts to recover but the mental game gets very serious. That seems to be my worst times of weakness as illustrated by my past behavior.

I've made my mind up that even if I do have some good days under my belt, I'm not going to go out drinking with the fellas for New Years and instead will use that as (an albeit depressing way to bring in the new year) an extra day to jump start the kick. I should be able to have a total of 6 days off of work to make it stick.

The last wrench that is hanging over my head is that I get my refill tomorrow. I already pushed getting it by 2 weeks but I do owe 2 people as a result of slips from the previous month. I have a system in place to where a friend knows exactly how much I owe these people and will be taking possession of my bottle to keep them out of reach to hold me accountable.

My thoughts are pretty broken at this time so my writing feels very disorganized and it's proving difficult to articulate my thoughts currently. I still wanted to get this down at least for the sake of keeping accurate records. Keeping this journal has been very helpful for me to track my progress. While my graph of progress has been very up and down, its trend has at least been showing a good direction as a whole. Having 6 days off along with having this huge work project off my plate is going to be the best opportunity I've had and will have in the coming future to make this jump so I certainly need to seize it and make the best of it.

*** Roxie ***

So glad to hear from you sir. I'm so happy you're continuing to do well. I'll definitely look for those books to throw on the Kindle. Reading about recovery and addiction is one of the very few things that can hold my interest for any sustainable amount of time with where I'm currently at. I have a trip coming up in about 3 weeks, so I definitely have to make this stick this coming weekend if I intend on enjoying it to the extent that I've been planning for. I hope you had a great Christmas and things continue to be traveling on a positive direction brother.

I'll check back in next time I have something worth writing or if I just need to get some thoughts out.

Good thoughts out to everyone in the struggle
-SK

 

[bonomoopiojo55]

Nice update sk. I am kinda in same situation, although I have cut down tremendously, going 4 to 5 days at time clean, it is tough. Looking forward to 2016 ahead riight? Stress level through roof though today is day 2, I need to do this for me, my daughter was just hospitalized last nite 7 months pregnant , bleeding, had lymes meningitis in beginning of pregnancy, I am my mother's caretaker so it's hard to leave but now this, I gotta be strong whether I want to or not, I'm giving her money so that is safety net for me so as not to buy you know what, took 4mg sub so anyway keep posting Bono

 

[stillkickin]

Nice update sk. I am kinda in same situation, although I have cut down tremendously, going 4 to 5 days at time clean, it is tough. Looking forward to 2016 ahead riight? Stress level through roof though today is day 2, I need to do this for me, my daughter was just hospitalized last nite 7 months pregnant , bleeding, had lymes meningitis in beginning of pregnancy, I am my mother's caretaker so it's hard to leave but now this, I gotta be strong whether I want to or not, I'm giving her money so that is safety net for me so as not to buy you know what, took 4mg sub so anyway keep posting Bono

Hey Bono,

Really good to hear back from you. I was wondering how things were going out your way. I'm really sad to hear of the issues going on with family. I know first hand how difficult that is to manage, let alone dealing with recovery on top of the stresses. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I assist my family as well both as someone to lean on and financially. Very good on you for being their anchor and helping hold it all together. Much respect goes out to you for taking on that role.

I had a frustrating issue at the doc today. This is my last appt ever with her as she's leaving the pain mgmt practice. I'm setup to work with my new doc next month so she prescribed me only half of my normal script. That wouldn't be an issue as I've cut down so much already but only having half the script means I have about 7 left for myself after paying people back that helped me out during the last few weeks. I did however get my time off approved for next week so I have a 6 days off in a row starting on Friday and no on-call blackberry to carry around with me. While I would have preferred to be more "comfortable" in finishing out this work week, at least I don't have enough to allow me to dig a bigger hole to combat starting Friday, so I'm trying to find that as a silver lining and roll with the punches. It wouldn't have bothered me as much but I'm finishing out a giant work project this week (hopefully tonight if no complications) and I just wasn't mentally prepared for that curve ball today.

All that aside, my sister is coming up tonight to my house (she's the biggest person I owe from the last few weeks) and we're going to get out and get some sushi and hang for a little while. I'm looking forward to that and should help immensely with the efforts to get the nerves settled down as a nice meal can have that effect. I'll probably have a wee bit of saki as well cuz .... I fuckin deserve it .

Please keep us updated with your progress Bono. 4mg of sub is quite a bit and should definitely keep you "held" for a day or two on that one dose if I recall accurately where you were at tolerance wise. I definitely found subs to be "less is more" when using them for rapid tapers. I probably used them 5-7 different occasions with mixed results. Since I was always using them for extremely rapid tapers, I never really got balanced out with them to where i ever felt "good". I kinda wish I would have held on to more of those strips. After 5 months of clean time last year I thought I'd never go back so I just pitched about 45 of those 4mg strips. Hindsight is always 20/20 but at the time, I just figured I'd never need them. Unfortunately I was far from correct on that assessment. C'est la vie, right?

 

[bonomoopiojo55]

Wow sorry to hear about the dr situation SK?? Medicine sure ain't what it used to be! Good to hear you are spending time with family, I am working on day 3, so far ok, I think with the new year I am motivated because beginning of 2015 I went 6 months and I want that back! I know I can't get that back but maybe I want more I'd know. Anyway I feel pretty ok, I have been spacing days out so I don't feel sick at all, plus 4mg sub held me. Hope all is well. Bono

 

[DoesntLearn]

on hour 100 since my last shot myself. did a few small lines (.25-.5mg) of bupe every 12 hours starting at hour 25 and repeated 3 times before jumping off completely. Had a habit where i could do a brick of H in a day or make it last up to 4-5 days depending on my money situation. Unfortunately money ran way short and i had to detox. Will i go back? unfortunately i probably will, but atleast for now i am clean. Got to look at the bright side of things. Mental game is starting to really kick in now and its beating me up hard.

 

[herbavore]

To all of you in this thread: take a moment to look at the unbelievable courage you are drawing on every single day. You are in a battle that no one around you can even see and yet you go to work and lead your lives and carry on. This is a huge feat and yet old habits and stigma make you focus on the "weakness" of giving in or some other mental beating. I sincerely hope that you can see what I see when I read this thread: heroic courage and profound empathy and support. Keep your compass in your hand and it really doesn't matter how zig-zag the path may be, the direction you are headed is clear.

 

[stillkickin]

Wow sorry to hear about the dr situation SK?? Medicine sure ain't what it used to be! Good to hear you are spending time with family, I am working on day 3, so far ok, I think with the new year I am motivated because beginning of 2015 I went 6 months and I want that back! I know I can't get that back but maybe I want more I'd know. Anyway I feel pretty ok, I have been spacing days out so I don't feel sick at all, plus 4mg sub held me. Hope all is well. Bono

Yeah, it was frustrating but I've moved on past that now. I've accepted that this is probably a blessing in disguise so that I don't end up just that much worse at the end of the week. Really happy that the sub is holding you ok and you're able to continue working on seeing this thing through. Beginning of 2014 was my 6 months of clean time that I constantly think back on and wish I could have that back. We definitely have to realize that it won't come back and we have to make new clean time to gain traction with. Living in the past makes building a future next to impossible.

on hour 100 since my last shot myself. did a few small lines (.25-.5mg) of bupe every 12 hours starting at hour 25 and repeated 3 times before jumping off completely. Had a habit where i could do a brick of H in a day or make it last up to 4-5 days depending on my money situation. Unfortunately money ran way short and i had to detox. Will i go back? unfortunately i probably will, but atleast for now i am clean. Got to look at the bright side of things. Mental game is starting to really kick in now and its beating me up hard.

Hey man, hats off to you for making it this far. I went ahead and read your other posts just trying to get an idea of where you're at. So you don't really have any desire to make use of the time off for the long run, eh? Despite the fact that you're a victim of circumstance in that you don't have the scrilla for a re-up, 100+ hours is incredible progress. Would be one hell of a jump start on a different lifestyle if you were so inclined but I completely respect that this is a personal decision that can only be made by yourself. Best of luck to you in your endeavors and hope you find something of value throughout this whole undoubtedly trying process.

To all of you in this thread: take a moment to look at the unbelievable courage you are drawing on every single day. You are in a battle that no one around you can even see and yet you go to work and lead your lives and carry on. This is a huge feat and yet old habits and stigma make you focus on the "weakness" of giving in or some other mental beating. I sincerely hope that you can see what I see when I read this thread: heroic courage and profound empathy and support. Keep your compass in your hand and it really doesn't matter how zig-zag the path may be, the direction you are headed is clear.

Herbavore, thanks for dropping in on the thread to share your very encouraging words. I've read a lot of your posts and much respect goes out to you for your contributions. It does help the soul quite a bit having someone recognize that while this process is difficult no matter the situation, having to show up to the office everyday and keep that facade of "everything is good" worn on the exterior complicates the struggle exponentially. Thank you again for stopping in and I know we all appreciate any insight you have to offer at any time.

I created this thread to help track my progress and share the journey with others that may be experiencing very similar circumstances. I do hope anyone that reads this knows they're more than welcome to comment or share their experiences here as well. It's great having good and understanding company when most of us feel so alone IRL in these efforts.

 

[P0kemama]

Stillkickin: Thanks so very much for the invite to other addicts to share our struggles and successes here. Today is a big day, in terms of my taper: I moved down to just one 15 mg oxycodone. My goal is to make this my only opioid for the next 24 hours. I have been very focused on my taper this time, and filling my time with recovery related media, be it on BL, other sober forums, readings in the area of spiritual development, etc. I had a consulting client last evening, and I did use a little more yesterday in order to prepare and then conduct the appointment. It is what it is. I cannot afford to be in w/d when meeting in client's homes in a professional role. Like you, I have times I must be professional, and man (woman) up.

Today and tomorrow, I have no meetings, appointments, etc... just a few reports to prepare and have ready by the beginning of January. Anyway, thanks again for the invite, and I sending positive energy your way that you continue in the right direction with your fight!

 

[bonomoopiojo55]

Hey Poke hope you doin ok? That is a good feeling when your days lighten up i hope the taper goes well. I do the same thing filling time on Bluelight I really have learnt alot here on this forum. SK hope you ok? I am, I can't get out much so I use this as my recovery tool day 4 all is well. I feel if I stay active here I am more motivated to do this,

 

[stillkickin]

Stillkickin: Thanks so very much for the invite to other addicts to share our struggles and successes here. Today is a big day, in terms of my taper: I moved down to just one 15 mg oxycodone. My goal is to make this my only opioid for the next 24 hours. I have been very focused on my taper this time, and filling my time with recovery related media, be it on BL, other sober forums, readings in the area of spiritual development, etc. I had a consulting client last evening, and I did use a little more yesterday in order to prepare and then conduct the appointment. It is what it is. I cannot afford to be in w/d when meeting in client's homes in a professional role. Like you, I have times I must be professional, and man (woman) up.

Today and tomorrow, I have no meetings, appointments, etc... just a few reports to prepare and have ready by the beginning of January. Anyway, thanks again for the invite, and I sending positive energy your way that you continue in the right direction with your fight!

Hey Poke hope you doin ok? That is a good feeling when your days lighten up i hope the taper goes well. I do the same thing filling time on Bluelight I really have learnt alot here on this forum. SK hope you ok? I am, I can't get out much so I use this as my recovery tool day 4 all is well. I feel if I stay active here I am more motivated to do this,

Bono, what's happening man? I find that if I stay more active on here, it also helps me stay in tune with where I'm at and what I need to do. I still had 20mg of oxy today and have 10mg set aside for tomorrow. After that though, my 6 days begin and I'm taking it more serious than I can remember. I pray I don't have to write a post of how something went south and I didn't take full advantage of my time off of work. I am very hopeful though and believe it will be a success. I haven't had this much time off of work all year as far consecutive days off in a row.

Hope you guys have a good easy evening.
-SK

 

[stillkickin]

P0kemama, don't know what happened but my response to you got lost in the ^ post . I think I mainly stated how impressive it is to be down to 15mg. That dose is tough because it doesn't have enough kick to really bring you out of the funk but it's a helluva lot better than nothing at all. Since I already eluded to it above, I had 20mg today. That dose can have me feeling pretty comfortable for most of the day. 10mg is left for tomorrow. Then the struggle begins.

I'm glad you stopped in and I hope you keep us apprised of how you progress. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been tapering and where did you start from?

 

[P0kemama]

Hi Still, I have been tapering off and on since I joined BL in April of 2015. My PM clinic has some questionable practices, in my eyes, and I never want to be caught at such a high dosage that my withdrawals are too much for me to handle. I don't like feeling sick, especially w/d type sick... I get anxious and panicky, overthink it, and generally have a horrid time. I had a couple opportunities where I could have jumped off, but didn't have the stretch of time needed free.

I am prescribed 20 mg Oxycontin, 2x a day; and 3 15 mg oxycodone per day. Not bad, compared to others. Except, the first week of the script I would double up on the oxycodone taking about 90mg plus the Oxycontin. That would leave me short the rest of the month. I have no contacts on the streets so am grateful that I never went that route. This time, I began my hard taper down to the 2 oxycodone on Christmas day, as Christmas eve means a lot of family interaction. I am finished with the Oxycontin.

Today, I will take 2 oxycodone, as I have a dog sitting gig for N Y eve, and have to drive to pick up pet from my relative and need to be "myself", as well as have energy to walk the dog, etc. I have been feeling optimistic, by using my off days to go to the 1 oxy, and then being realistic and using two when I have commitments. For example, Saturday, I am free, so will go as long as I can before I use 1 15 mg oxy. I am hoping i can make it the whole day. I would like to rotate the no oxy, 1 oxy and 2 oxy days as needed throughout January.

I have a friend from another forum who tapered down with his codeine, his is from another country, and swears his 40 day taper left him in great shape jumping off. I don't want to taper too long, but don't want to jump off, panic, and take 6 oxy to feel better, you know?

My plan is to go to one more PM appointment, fill the oxy, forget the Oxycontin. Then taper using none, 1 and( 2 a day when I need to function professionally or with family), jump off in February, if it does not naturally occur earlier. I have appointments, trainings, family events scattered through January. However, I am free atm, planning wise after the 1st of February. I am blocking out February 2nd -7th, to finish this off. That is my goal.

I believe you are going to be a success in kicking these evil pills during your 6 day stay at home. Are you going to stock up on Gatorade, Netflix, etc? What are your strategies to make it through with minimal discomfort? I am cheering for you!!

 

[What was it?]

The pain of the final detox has to be cherished as the last. It's like growing-pains. Pain is a sign something has to change and you guys are changing it. Just never look back!! Always associate the opiates with PAIN from now on which you want to get behind you. I forbid myself to have any positive connotations with opiates anymore, just bad memories. If I ever am in an accident I would ask for ketamine at the hospital. You couldn't pay me to take opiates anymore, and I also blastde through tens of thousands in my addiction. It's so weird when it all finally turns. I wish you all the best and willpower!!!!!!

 

[stillkickin]

Reckon it's time to check in. Seems like I've hit most Sundays even if there's been gaps in between posts. This last gap was due to me heading to my mom and sister's place for New Year's and a few days after. I just couldn't deal with sitting by myself whilst trying to kick the last of the meds. My mental game just wasn't feeling all that tough and I didn't want to make a hard slip on having this set amount of time off to commit with.

In a quick summary, I've had about 6 T3's (90mg codeine) over the last 3 days and about 20mg of hydrocodone in total. No really much at all, all things considered. I've stayed in a pretty shitty state physically which means I've been putting the work in. Tomorrow I'll allow myself up to 4 grams of Kratom for the whole day if I absolutely feel it's necessary. I don't care for the way Kratom makes me feel so it's purely to help rough physical conditions. I don't like the speediness of it even with Bali. So that's been my op intake.

I've been eating fairly well (especially since staying with the family, most home cooked meals I've had in quite some time). Getting plenty of fluids. Went to the gym today and did another chest/try workout and about 22 minutes of pretty tough cardio. Feeling pretty rough right now. Really drained and eyes are tired, back is achey. I still have 3 more days off work though and that is really encouraging. I feel like I'm over the hump of the 1/2 way mark of the process and now just gotta tough out some aggravating symptoms for the next couple days but shouldn't be anything I can't handle. Each morning I wake up I feel a little less shitty than the one before it. Really hoping tomorrow is the same way.

Hope everyone is doing well and keeping up the fight!

-SK

Hi Still, I have been tapering off and on since I joined BL in April of 2015. My PM clinic has some questionable practices, in my eyes, and I never want to be caught at such a high dosage that my withdrawals are too much for me to handle. I don't like feeling sick, especially w/d type sick... I get anxious and panicky, overthink it, and generally have a horrid time. I had a couple opportunities where I could have jumped off, but didn't have the stretch of time needed free.

I am prescribed 20 mg Oxycontin, 2x a day; and 3 15 mg oxycodone per day. Not bad, compared to others. Except, the first week of the script I would double up on the oxycodone taking about 90mg plus the Oxycontin. That would leave me short the rest of the month. I have no contacts on the streets so am grateful that I never went that route. This time, I began my hard taper down to the 2 oxycodone on Christmas day, as Christmas eve means a lot of family interaction. I am finished with the Oxycontin.

Today, I will take 2 oxycodone, as I have a dog sitting gig for N Y eve, and have to drive to pick up pet from my relative and need to be "myself", as well as have energy to walk the dog, etc. I have been feeling optimistic, by using my off days to go to the 1 oxy, and then being realistic and using two when I have commitments. For example, Saturday, I am free, so will go as long as I can before I use 1 15 mg oxy. I am hoping i can make it the whole day. I would like to rotate the no oxy, 1 oxy and 2 oxy days as needed throughout January.

I have a friend from another forum who tapered down with his codeine, his is from another country, and swears his 40 day taper left him in great shape jumping off. I don't want to taper too long, but don't want to jump off, panic, and take 6 oxy to feel better, you know?

My plan is to go to one more PM appointment, fill the oxy, forget the Oxycontin. Then taper using none, 1 and( 2 a day when I need to function professionally or with family), jump off in February, if it does not naturally occur earlier. I have appointments, trainings, family events scattered through January. However, I am free atm, planning wise after the 1st of February. I am blocking out February 2nd -7th, to finish this off. That is my goal.

I believe you are going to be a success in kicking these evil pills during your 6 day stay at home. Are you going to stock up on Gatorade, Netflix, etc? What are your strategies to make it through with minimal discomfort? I am cheering for you!!

Heyo P0kemama, thanks for sharing all that info. Definitely helps paint a better picture of where you're at and what you've been through. I absolutely despise withdrawals as well. I totally agree with the widely accepted sentiment that each time it gets more and more difficult. I also understand not having enough time to fully commit to the process of breaking free from them. I'd always try to do it with only 2 days off or at most 3. Not nearly enough time.

That's really good you don't have any connections outside of legitimate sources. That certainly helps limit the downward spiral. I also totally feel ya on the jumping off prematurely and then binging in a state of panic. I've done it countless times myself. I also intend on getting another refill in about 1.5 weeks from my doc and immediately handing them off to a close non-using friend. All of that is in the works already and I'll be causing decent rifts in my friendship if he isn't in the car with me when I get the next script to do said hand off.

As far as trying to keep myself occupied, I hung out a lot with my sister. As rough as it is, thankfully she is basically completely out of her meds as well so there wasn't much of a rescue dose whilst over there other than say a 5mg hydro once every day or so along with a few T3's. We watched a lot of movies and went and saw Hateful 8 yesterday. We were both suffering over at the theater but we both desperately needed to get out of the house for a little bit.

What's your game plan for the final jump off? Or still playing it by ear at this point?

Thanks for the great post and the encouragement. Hoping great success for you as well in your efforts!!!

The pain of the final detox has to be cherished as the last. It's like growing-pains. Pain is a sign something has to change and you guys are changing it. Just never look back!! Always associate the opiates with PAIN from now on which you want to get behind you. I forbid myself to have any positive connotations with opiates anymore, just bad memories. If I ever am in an accident I would ask for ketamine at the hospital. You couldn't pay me to take opiates anymore, and I also blastde through tens of thousands in my addiction. It's so weird when it all finally turns. I wish you all the best and willpower!!!!!!

Thanks for stopping in and sharing your words! Definitely good insight. The opiate road is a hard road for sure. I know it's worn me down both figuratively and physically. These next few days are going to be very defining days for me personally. I'm really praying for that strong willpower and positive progress to keep the momentum going.

 

[w0w0mg]

congrats man you're doing good! keep it up! Cheers!

 

[stillkickin]

congrats man you're doing good! keep it up! Cheers!

Thanks brother! I went ahead and jumped over to your thread and commented on your awesome progress. Keep it up man!!

 

[P0kemama]

Stillkickin: You did not disappoint! I came here looking for your Sunday (evening) post... and here it is! You are doing so well, and to have family around, the healthy meals, even going out to catch a movie (btw: isn't that the flick with the old movie reels needing to have been set up?) Any opinions on the quality of the showing and the actual film itself?
I honestly feel so good about my plan. My anxiety is near 0, and I feel confident. What I did was compare my taper to a Suboxone short, but not rapid taper. Like a month or so. Today, for example I had 22.5 mg oxycodone, 7.5mg at a time, about 8 hours apart. And, I felt it, a little buzz, but more importantly, took the edge off my back pain today. And, being on a minimal dose has alleviated a lot of depression and lethargy caused by taken 5 oxycodone a day. My head is also clearer, for sure. Just hanging out, dog sitting early tomorrow morning, client on Tuesday, and PM appt on Wednesday with scripts written to be filled either Friday or Monday.... I know, but cannot get them re filled too soon, pharmacy policies. Maybe you have felt the worst of the w/d's and you are only going to feel better each day,,,take care!