I suffer from mad anxiety... literally debilitating, fear. Self medicated over the years; alcohol, coke, benzos. Have lost many friends due to my freak outs and me avoiding them/disowning them. I dislike the ambiguity of being in groups of people, I can't focus on the back and forth conversation and humour and get paranoid, switch off, then the focus is on me becuase I'm being weird and the paranoia turns into reality. I have a few friends left but generally only see them 1 on 1. Work is hard, I can't handle an office environment any longer and have left many a job - luckily I have a job now where I work alone a lot, still have to attend meetings and shit, which is where a valium of two is a must, otherwise the panic sets in.
Anyway, I was on about 10mg of val a day for quite sometime while (2yrs or so) I was in a busy office environment.. since this latest job I can get by on about 10mg every couple of week (depending on the influx of meetings etc)
Anyway don't really know the point in the post tbh, I guess what I'm getting at is that it sucks that I'm a slave to the benzos and living with fear and anxiety ain't fun, I'm sure some of you can relate
Anyway, I was on about 10mg of val a day for quite sometime while (2yrs or so) I was in a busy office environment.. since this latest job I can get by on about 10mg every couple of week (depending on the influx of meetings etc)
Anyway don't really know the point in the post tbh, I guess what I'm getting at is that it sucks that I'm a slave to the benzos and living with fear and anxiety ain't fun, I'm sure some of you can relate