Mental Health Social Anxiety

[supersonic89]

Hi guys.

Anyone else here on the forum with social anxiety?

How do you live day to day with it? How much has your life affected? Have you developed any problems (eg addiction) because of that? Do you follow any therapy or medication?

Probably very few people or those who are shy about registering or saying it will be posting here. I'm not afraid to say it.

People without social anxiety are also invited to give their opinion. At the end of the day I think we have all felt some level of anxiety or shyness in our lives.

 

[Sirena Oscura]

Yeah you’re not alone.
My parents said I was a “shy” child... I was literally afraid of other people, if I made eye contact with them I’d go beet red, the only friends I had were extroverts that adopted me.
While I’ve grown out of the blushing phase (sometime during high school), I haven’t grown out of the social anxiety- I can just hide it better. Now I’m that girl with a resting bitch face, deadpan, everyone just thinks I think I’m better than them. They say I’m intimidating (very ironic coming from someone with social anxiety hahaha).

Anyway in adulthood I obviously got properly diagnosed. I do therapy, I’m on meds (social anxiety isn’t my only diagnosis).

But ya... It’s horrible. My anxiety often manifests as irritation so I’m like constantly irritated with everything and everyone. That’s why I seek refuge alone at home, or talking to people on the internet instead. Of course, that tendency to be a loner just further convinced other people I think I’m too good for them.

I do coke to make myself more talkative with people. Otherwise I do drugs just to escape the never ending feelings. Feelings suck.

I dunno, I’m socially retarded, I don’t know what to do or say. I get reminded to ask people questions during conversation but I seem to be really bad at that... like, people only want to talk about superficial level stuff and I’ll ask them something deep and personal. Can’t help it, I don’t find hearing about people’s weekends, their spouse and children etc. interesting. What am I even supposed to do with that knowledge? Someone explain people to me.

Anyway I digress...

 

[Hylight]

History of stupidness dysfunction. Born into the shit. But better with time. And Jesus.

I just have limited interactions and currently at maximum level here and now.

 

[Shardzvark]

History of dysfunction. Born into the shit. But better with time. And Jesus.

I just have limited interactions and currently at maximum level here and now.

Dysfunction is better with Jesus? Oh you mean more dysfunction? Or less? Or..

 

[Hylight]

Hell Yeah lol.

 

[Hylight]

Jesus is always there.

(allot) ♡♡

 

[December Flower]

It's not that I don't like people, I just hate spending time with them.

 

[Shardzvark]

Jesus is always there.

(allot) ♡♡

Watching you....

 

[Hylight]

Shelter

 

[Sirena Oscura]

 

[Joey]

I was a quieter sort of kid, had anxiety that became extremely debilitating as a teenager and still do have a fair bit. But I’ve been practiced and kind of had to adapt over time just living life. My social anxiety isn’t nearly what it used to be.

I definitely have my things where I’ll just kind of hide out or not talk much to most people for a bit , but over time I’m more confident socially now than I used to be. insofar as being able to speak and speak my mind anyway. I tuck it away as much as I can.

 

[SunriseChampion]

I was pretty introverted as a teen because of depression and low self-esteem. Kicked that shit to the curb when I was about 19, after starting at university and then for good after trying MDMA and mushrooms for the first time. Became very social and outgoing which was a fucking weird 180 in my life. Loved it though.

Then I went and did meth for a few months one year and that caused me to have lingering social anxiety during use and for years after I stopped. And this time it was a shite side worse. In certain situations, I thought people were out to get me for various reasons. I still went places but a lot of the time I had to drink to cope and drink I did.

I still drink like a degen but the social anxiety has faded away almost entirely....as in I no longer need to drink to go meet new people and all that bollocks.

I fucking hate meth though.

 

[supersonic89]

I was pretty introverted as a teen because of depression and low self-esteem. Kicked that shit to the curb when I was about 19, after starting at university and then for good after trying MDMA and mushrooms for the first time. Became very social and outgoing which was a fucking weird 180 in my life. Loved it though.

Then I went and did meth for a few months one year and that caused me to have lingering social anxiety during use and for years after I stopped. And this time it was a shite side worse. In certain situations, I thought people were out to get me for various reasons. I still went places but a lot of the time I had to drink to cope and drink I did.

I still drink like a degen but the social anxiety has faded away almost entirely....as in I no longer need to drink to go meet new people and all that bollocks.

I fucking hate meth though.

Wow university was my worst period I think. I felt that I didn't "mix" with others. I always felt outside. I had 1 or 2 "friends" who were almost the same or weirder than me hahaha. I don't know if I hated what I was studying or just the anxiety/depression made me hate it. Anyway, I ended up dropping out of university.

 

[supersonic89]

Curiously, school was my best time and I never suffered from any type of bullying. I was a bit shy but I got on well. I had problems with lectures. As a teenager, at 15 I think that was when I began to feel isolated.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

It was like the opposite for me. I was all over the place. Perhaps a bit shy, but not really. Was just cautious as you had to be careful.

Wasn't until perhaps my mid 20's after serious shit happened from heroin that I started to become isolated. Burnt up so many people so was always paranoid too someone would catch up with me. Had to ditch everyone and try to start over. Kept a few buddies, though.

Now I am just plain fucking retarded. But I really don't care these days. Maybe one day with enough clean time will be back to normal.

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

It was like the opposite for me. I was all over the place. Perhaps a bit shy, but not really. Was just cautious as you had to be careful.

Wasn't until perhaps my mid 20's after serious shit happened from heroin that I started to become isolated. Burnt up so many people so was always paranoid too someone would catch up with me. Had to ditch everyone and try to start over. Kept a few buddies, though.

Now I am just plain fucking retarded. But I really don't care these days. Maybe one day with enough clean time will be back to normal.

I relate here a lot.

Was a shy kid, but was mostly gauging what i can and can not say to others.

Was very social during school years.

Became antisocial in adulthood once unsupervised.

 

[supersonic89]

I relate here a lot.

Was a shy kid, but was mostly gauging what i can and can not say to others.

Was very social during school years.

Became antisocial in adulthood once unsupervised.

Do you think there was something that triggered this behavior or was it all very subtle (little by little)?

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

It was little by little for sure.

Getting diagnosed bipolar in college didn't help, though.

 

[SunriseChampion]

Wow university was my worst period I think. I felt that I didn't "mix" with others. I always felt outside. I had 1 or 2 "friends" who were almost the same or weirder than me hahaha. I don't know if I hated what I was studying or just the anxiety/depression made me hate it. Anyway, I ended up dropping out of university.

Damn, that's too bad. That was one of the best periods of my life, by far. 18-20, two university years. Made a shit tonne of friends of all sorts after being relegated to a weird crew of geeks in high school. I was the weird one in my friends group during both years (two different friends groups as I lived in a single room in res both years) but had all of a sudden become a social person and was well liked by all sorts from dregs to the smartest kids to the flash and posh bunch and the jocks.

If I could travel back in time at this point in my life, those are the years I would go back to.

 

[supersonic89]

Damn, that's too bad. That was one of the best periods of my life, by far. 18-20, two university years. Made a shit tonne of friends of all sorts after being relegated to a weird crew of geeks in high school. I was the weird one in my friends group during both years (two different friends groups as I lived in a single room in res both years) but had all of a sudden become a social person and was well liked by all sorts from dregs to the smartest kids to the flash and posh bunch and the jocks.

If I could travel back in time at this point in my life, those are the years I would go back to.

I understand why many love their university period; first drugs, alcohol, parties, first loves, etc.

But in my case, not even that could make me happy or feel part of a group. When I was drinking or using drugs I felt excellent but eventually that feeling disappeared when the effects of the drugs / alcohol wears off.

I think my best period was between 13-16 years. I'm going to rectify what I wrote earlier and say that 17-18 was when I began to isolate myself from everyone.

No worries, no drugs, no alcohol (ok maybe a bit lol). Just play Playstation all day and go to school. Those were my two concerns. I loved those years. In fact, I still maintain communication with several of my friends from those years.

Anyone know what will be the most effective drug for social anxiety, besides benzos? I have taken sertraline, escitalopram (but for a very short time so I can't tell how effective it was), fluoxetine and venlafaxine (the most effective). Every time I go to a psych/doc prescribes me sertraline, despite telling them that I don't like it and that I have never noticed much improvement with it. Damn fuckers.