MrRoot
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2011
- Messages
- 2,121
My ex-wife didn't do anything for my opioid addiction. She just pretended that everything is ok and tried to not see the huge pink elephant in the room as well wanted to others know we had perfect life.
Well I was a functional addict and got my drugs from doctors and it didn't cost at all to us in terms of money and I was able to work as well as get military pension and benefits because getting wounded in Afghanistan by roadside bomb when doing my peace keeping work.
Finally I found out by loaning her phone to use it to order a hobby stuff I needed as my phones battery died and found out that she has been messaging with literally hundreds of guys and I stopped counted with how many she has met and had sex after I managed to find 25 messages from different guys involving discussion about their late meeting had been and how the sex had been.
That was even started when I wasn't on drugs so actually isn't related by all parts to my drug addiction but I just want to tell that that some drug addicts can be decent parents.
Now she dates with a guy she has known and gone out as a teenager even before meeting me and I guess they even might have had relationship all those ten tears she was with me now when I have put the pieces together.
Of course that what she actually did lead me to consider my drug use after it of course went worse at first as I blamed my drug use and what I have become because of that as the reason why she kept doing that.
Funny thing is that she was very jealous of me being around other women while still breaking at the same time whatever she claimed to be s filosophy of life regarding to being together with someone.
F**king gold digger. I even got multitudes of my own money now compared to when we used to live together although I had to pay mortgage by my own as well has give child support payments as I am just a weekend father. I trusted her enough to let her handle our bills etc. For all those years and she managed to fucking get a 50% downpayment for her current apartment by slipping to her pocket money which was meant for our mutual expenses.
It has taken a lot of selfcontrol to not sue her over that but I don't want my daughter's mother to end up in to jail and them to lose their current apartment.
What I am pissed about most is that my daughter has to spend time during weekdays with that piece of shit male that was having an affair with my wife. He doesn't even play with my daughter at evenings as he is so tired of his fucking druck triving that he just watches tv and goes to sleep after drinking a pack of beer. If I would be violent person I would beat the crap out of him but I am contempt by the fact that some day it will dawn to him my he is being used the same way as I was used and I know that my ex-wife haven't stopped seeing others and I won't do him a favor and tell that he wasn't the only one she was cheating me with.
Even I was a better guy in my worse addiction phase as I always found time to be with my daughter. I even raised my daughter when my ex-wife wanted to get back to work asap and continued to raise until she was old enough to get into family day-care center (not a kindergarten but instead a small group of children taken care by always the same certified kindergarten nurse which imo is a better option than being in a huge group that reminds more a facility than home).
While still abusing drugs and raising my daughter I managed to do it so that I only took a minor dose daily to keep withdrawals a bay and being able to function with my daughter and took a recreational dose after my daughter was went to a sleep.
IDK even if she really is my biological daughter as we wen't through many infertility treatments and suddenly she just become pregnant and I have just some time until my daughter turns five years old to seek out it through court but I am 99.999% sure I won't ask court to check my paternity as for me she would in any case be my daughter as I have cared and raised her and continue to do so on weekends (and this is because she wants the fucking child support payment and knows that a dad who goes to opiate replacement therapy and also is a veteran wouldn't be quite successfull to get 50/50 or single parenting deal out of court)
My daughter born through caesarean section so I was with her those first hours of her life keeping her against my body and that was when I decided to not cause harm through my drug use for her and changed my usage habits although of course an addict cannot be as good parent as sober one could.
Finally I have gpt over trust issues as I very recently engaged a really awesome girl with whom we have a lot more open relationship and she isn't interested in my money but instead wants to use her own always and everytime I give her a gift which costs significantly she says that I should get it back and take the money and use some of them to charity instead.
Thx for reading. I just wanted to vent out.
Well I was a functional addict and got my drugs from doctors and it didn't cost at all to us in terms of money and I was able to work as well as get military pension and benefits because getting wounded in Afghanistan by roadside bomb when doing my peace keeping work.
Finally I found out by loaning her phone to use it to order a hobby stuff I needed as my phones battery died and found out that she has been messaging with literally hundreds of guys and I stopped counted with how many she has met and had sex after I managed to find 25 messages from different guys involving discussion about their late meeting had been and how the sex had been.
That was even started when I wasn't on drugs so actually isn't related by all parts to my drug addiction but I just want to tell that that some drug addicts can be decent parents.
Now she dates with a guy she has known and gone out as a teenager even before meeting me and I guess they even might have had relationship all those ten tears she was with me now when I have put the pieces together.
Of course that what she actually did lead me to consider my drug use after it of course went worse at first as I blamed my drug use and what I have become because of that as the reason why she kept doing that.
Funny thing is that she was very jealous of me being around other women while still breaking at the same time whatever she claimed to be s filosophy of life regarding to being together with someone.
F**king gold digger. I even got multitudes of my own money now compared to when we used to live together although I had to pay mortgage by my own as well has give child support payments as I am just a weekend father. I trusted her enough to let her handle our bills etc. For all those years and she managed to fucking get a 50% downpayment for her current apartment by slipping to her pocket money which was meant for our mutual expenses.
It has taken a lot of selfcontrol to not sue her over that but I don't want my daughter's mother to end up in to jail and them to lose their current apartment.
What I am pissed about most is that my daughter has to spend time during weekdays with that piece of shit male that was having an affair with my wife. He doesn't even play with my daughter at evenings as he is so tired of his fucking druck triving that he just watches tv and goes to sleep after drinking a pack of beer. If I would be violent person I would beat the crap out of him but I am contempt by the fact that some day it will dawn to him my he is being used the same way as I was used and I know that my ex-wife haven't stopped seeing others and I won't do him a favor and tell that he wasn't the only one she was cheating me with.
Even I was a better guy in my worse addiction phase as I always found time to be with my daughter. I even raised my daughter when my ex-wife wanted to get back to work asap and continued to raise until she was old enough to get into family day-care center (not a kindergarten but instead a small group of children taken care by always the same certified kindergarten nurse which imo is a better option than being in a huge group that reminds more a facility than home).
While still abusing drugs and raising my daughter I managed to do it so that I only took a minor dose daily to keep withdrawals a bay and being able to function with my daughter and took a recreational dose after my daughter was went to a sleep.
IDK even if she really is my biological daughter as we wen't through many infertility treatments and suddenly she just become pregnant and I have just some time until my daughter turns five years old to seek out it through court but I am 99.999% sure I won't ask court to check my paternity as for me she would in any case be my daughter as I have cared and raised her and continue to do so on weekends (and this is because she wants the fucking child support payment and knows that a dad who goes to opiate replacement therapy and also is a veteran wouldn't be quite successfull to get 50/50 or single parenting deal out of court)
My daughter born through caesarean section so I was with her those first hours of her life keeping her against my body and that was when I decided to not cause harm through my drug use for her and changed my usage habits although of course an addict cannot be as good parent as sober one could.
Finally I have gpt over trust issues as I very recently engaged a really awesome girl with whom we have a lot more open relationship and she isn't interested in my money but instead wants to use her own always and everytime I give her a gift which costs significantly she says that I should get it back and take the money and use some of them to charity instead.
Thx for reading. I just wanted to vent out.