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Sexless relationship

H

HeatherWesling

Bluelighter
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
94
Hi, I am 26 and my fiancé is 29. In the beginning of our relationship we had sex a lot and it was probably the best I've ever had. It's been two years now and we have a one year old daughter. I caught him getting nudes from girls he didn't know on a snapchat account. What he didn't know was after me looking a few up they were 14-17 years old. We removed the accounts from the phone and I put a key logger on the cell phone and yes he knows about it. Since I've removed it all and added surveillance we haven't had sex at all. I can't figure out what the problem is. I know he isn't talking to anyone because the cell phone and the bill is with me. Through the month of my paranoia I've seen him at work and everything but no other women. What the hell may have happened in our relationship for him to shut down like this?
 
Maybe he doesn't like being controlled. Or maybe he does. Treat him like your lil bitch and give him commands. Tell him to take his ass to the bedroom and get naked because you own him.
 
I...don't think it's the lack of sex that's the big problem here. Perhaps couples counselling might assist.
 
ur treating ur husband like a 10 yr old child.

relationships require trust and mutual respect, i second the thought above of seeking couples counselling.

have you had a conversation about why he was getting nudes from 14-17 yr olds, this is really quite a red flag. is he sexually attracted to girls under the age of consent?
 
There is a lot going on here.... A professionally trained counselor is probably the only person qualified to touch this one, though...
 
i looked up the definitions and a pedophile is attracted to children, children are below the age of majority which means below the legal age of being considered an adult. which is 18 where i live but may be different in ur countries.
 
It's ephebophilia, technically. Also it's gross and still below the age of consent in most places (17 is arguable, 14 no fucking way)
 
Mysterie said:
i looked up the definitions and a pedophile is attracted to children, children are below the age of majority which means below the legal age of being considered an adult. which is 18 where i live but may be different in ur countries.
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Look up the difference between hebephilia and paedophilia.
 
Are we really arguing over whether a man who's almost 30 being into 14 year olds is not some paedo shit?
 
Artificial Emotion said:
Pedo? Are you fucking kidding me? 14-17 is far from prepubescent.
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Are you a pedo sympathizer? Sure sounds like it. If you don't think there's anything wrong with a grown man getting nudes from 14-17 year olds then there's something seriously wrong with you.
 
Actually yes there is a difference. Try raping a 5 year old and see if it gets you the same time in prison as a 17 year old. Both illegal but very different punishments.
 
This thread gets the...

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nuttynutskin said:
Are you a pedo sympathizer? Sure sounds like it. If you don't think there's anything wrong with a grown man getting nudes from 14-17 year olds then there's something seriously wrong with you.
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You dont need to be a "sympathizer" to want to use proper definition. If you had written "we gots go their" even though it conveys a similar meaning through the phrase as "we have to go there" it still isnt correct. Wouldnt you rather be correct then "its close enough deal with it"

Not judging just explaining why it is important. I learned a new word and will be sure to distinguish between the two so I am not incorrect. Also again i am not sympathizing but "something seriously wrong with you" is a cultural determination for 14-17 year olds and is not based on biology. I would never find myself involved in anything of that nature but historically it has been culturally acceptable its just western society does not allow it in a lot of situations.
 
U never know the girls could lie about age so they get the real creepers to buy them things..are u sure he even knew they were underage?..I wouldn't want to fuck a girl that treats me like my mom
 
I agree with Artificial Emotion, a pedo is definitely one who likes young children.
What is the difference between having sex with an 18 year old and a 17 year old other than the law?

As for the original post I think it's like others have mentioned. You seem overly controlling and there are trust issues in the relationship, that not very sexy. He may also just not be attracted to you any more, I've heard of that happening with some men after their partner has a baby.
 
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