Regulus7000
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2015
- Messages
- 1
I have been with my girlfriend for four years now.
I love her, but our sex life is killing me. We went 11 months without her initiating sex. Not even once. I was still having it because I pursued it, but it certainly made me feel awful and unwanted that she never initiated it. She tells me that she never does so because we have it enough that she feel fulfilled. I explained to her that I felt awful and unwanted that she would never actually initiate it though. She still didn't do it until I practically begged her to do it. We have fought many times about it, and now she will do it on occasion, but usually only very late at night when I'm asleep. 2, 3, or 4 AM. She claims it's the only time she can relax enough to feel aroused on her own. It sucks.
Also, she will never give me oral sex. I'm lucky to get it once every three months. She will also ONLY do it in the shower. Yet, I go down on her every single time. This bothers me terribly. She says that she never once asked me to go down on her. I told her that she is right, but it makes her feel good, and I want to make her feel good. I explained to her that she should want to make me feel good too. She says that oral sex shouldn't matter. I explained to her how it hurts me emotionally, but she is either incapable of understanding it, or refuses to understand it. She claims I am keeping score and says things like, "I understand that you think I should do things for you because you do them for me." But it's not about that. It's about wanting to feel desired.
Also, our sex is so un-fun now. She will never have spontaneous sex, must always be put in the mood, etc.
We have been together for four years now, and it wasn't always like this. But it has been for a long time now. It is really hurting me inside. But at the same time, she is an absolutely wonderful woman that I love so much. But my needs just aren't being fulfilled. I don't know what to do at this point except either accept it, or break up with her. A part of me is saying that sex shouldn't be the only reasons to do this, but another part of me is feeling like less and less of a man.
Any suggestions?
I love her, but our sex life is killing me. We went 11 months without her initiating sex. Not even once. I was still having it because I pursued it, but it certainly made me feel awful and unwanted that she never initiated it. She tells me that she never does so because we have it enough that she feel fulfilled. I explained to her that I felt awful and unwanted that she would never actually initiate it though. She still didn't do it until I practically begged her to do it. We have fought many times about it, and now she will do it on occasion, but usually only very late at night when I'm asleep. 2, 3, or 4 AM. She claims it's the only time she can relax enough to feel aroused on her own. It sucks.
Also, she will never give me oral sex. I'm lucky to get it once every three months. She will also ONLY do it in the shower. Yet, I go down on her every single time. This bothers me terribly. She says that she never once asked me to go down on her. I told her that she is right, but it makes her feel good, and I want to make her feel good. I explained to her that she should want to make me feel good too. She says that oral sex shouldn't matter. I explained to her how it hurts me emotionally, but she is either incapable of understanding it, or refuses to understand it. She claims I am keeping score and says things like, "I understand that you think I should do things for you because you do them for me." But it's not about that. It's about wanting to feel desired.
Also, our sex is so un-fun now. She will never have spontaneous sex, must always be put in the mood, etc.
We have been together for four years now, and it wasn't always like this. But it has been for a long time now. It is really hurting me inside. But at the same time, she is an absolutely wonderful woman that I love so much. But my needs just aren't being fulfilled. I don't know what to do at this point except either accept it, or break up with her. A part of me is saying that sex shouldn't be the only reasons to do this, but another part of me is feeling like less and less of a man.
Any suggestions?