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Self-Controlled Hallucinations

M

MollySallyMaryJane

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 19, 2014
Messages
27
This is Brief history of used drugs: DXM,LSA,diphenhydramine, all types of opiates/opioids,Xanax, Salvia,Focalin,k2, marijuana(obviously)

So i have noticed i have to ability to trip while sober, while most times mild (objects morphing in shape, or paterns/lines becoming defined and undefined) when i focus on objects or concentrate in general. But other times during the night i can fall into a COMPLETE trip that rivals a 3rd platue dxm trip in terms on Visuals ONLY.. Geometric patterns shifting and morphing. Defined objects fading in and out, or dissapearing completely into walls or the ceiling. Along with a "supernatural" type feeling.

That said i wonder if i have really learned something from my trips and learned how to harness them, or if i just have a case of HPPD. Keep in mind i dont mind these hallucinatory/dreamlike states. They just come at random times and make me really wonder.. Why?? The best way i can describe it is a combination or LSA and DXM. At times i keep my self from falling back asleep because i find these visual states to be beautiful and fascinating in a weird way.
And then theres other times where i feel an ominous, almost Evil presence. As if im in danger or being watched/approached.

Maybe someone else has had similar experiences?
:O
 
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i think you just have HPPD
but i see a contradiction, first you say you can control them but then you say they come randomly.. can you explain?
 
The general visuals i controll, but the full blown trips are random. Usually during the night. Or maybe i just notice it at night time more
 
I have experienced sober tripping since I was a young lad. I've always have had intense episodes of sleep paralysis which often went hand in hand with very vivid and real looking but dream like hallucinations. Usually the state will come on when I am starting to fall asleep or while waking up from a really visually intense and involving dream. The genre of visual is usually very dark and world evolving. The trip happens a few very different ways. Which are very recurring for me.

So far I've had these.
-Dark entity or presence
-castle tower/spire
-annihilation
-LSD or dmt like effects lasting for up to 5 minutes after waking up (an ability I think I have gain learning to sustain my bodies release of dmt even after waking up)
-limbo, almost like a salvia like state.

The dark entity experience seems to be a recurring hallucination associated with sleep paralysis throughout human history. To the ancient Chinese this experience has been described as ghost pressure and that a ghost is literally standing/sitting on you casting its aura upon you causing the paralysis and suffocating sensation. I have experienced just this. A dark ethereal entity usually caring a sinister presence. It has come to me in the form of a spider, hazy humanoid figures, extremely tall beings draped in an black curtain.
To me almost every time I encounter them I am overcome by this unbearable fear and panic like a demon has castes it glare on me rendering me unable to even talk. Even though I know this a hallucination when it happens. usually I am coming out of a deep dream rapidly which puts me in a state of delerium completely convinced of what is going on. But I have only experienced this with the entity. Usually the being will sit next to me and pet my head but in a way you would steady a log ur about to split. I always feel like the being is about to decapitate me .

The castle tower is the light side of sleep paralysis trips for me. Usually occurring when I am about to fall asleep with the light in or during the day. A vibrating body buzz will start randomly and this is when I know the paralysis is about to start and this is my trigger to slowly try and open my eyes as the paralysis sets in. This puts me into a state if waking dream. I've had a few different versions of this waking dream. Waking up into one us quite a different experience. Basically the reality I see serves as like a color pallet to what I am about to see. The buzz will come I open my eyes and I see a opening forming in a blank white wall laying on my side. Almost if like the wall is infinitely elastic and is being pushed forming almost like a tunnel or portal. The area around the hole forms into complex geometric architecture . My orientation will change and make what's I see seem like I am looking up into the inside if a ancient magical looking white adobe castle tower. All very fluidly evolving like a story unfolding and then the hallucination takes immediately into a vivid dream where I an inside this castle and explore it but I can never remember much of it. If I am waking out of a dream into this state it's the same fluid evolving trip but the sequence is reversed I am deep in a visual dream and it slowly melts back Into reality and what I am actually seeing.

Annihilation. I have had this experience once. I wake from a dream into mild paralysis and open my eyes, my head already oriented towards the window and it is twighlight outside. Outside flashes and the glows a firery red. It looks as if a nuke went off down the street and I am experiencing my death in slow motion. The trees start to shake violently and lean over as if hurricane wind sudden ripped through. Houses across the street start to disintegrate into the wind, cars are rolling and bounding side ways in the nuclear wind aswell and then the whole chain of events reverses quickly and everything rebuilds itself and then I am awake.

Limbo sucks but is an interesting psychedelic experience I would say it's like having someone force feed you a giant hit if salvia 60x while ur asleep . It's like your being and perception is stuck in a mental a physical paper jam is the only way I can explain it. Like come out of a full on salvia ego dissolve.

Sometime mild dmt and LSD like visuals will stay with me after I wake from the experiences like my body is stuck releasing its own psychedelic drugs. I can't say how much validity there us to this but once I decided to try to trip on a potent brew of syrian rue and sassafras root bark which a potentiator fell asleep And awoke into that state of dmt buzzing but the harmala seemed to be actually greatly increasing my visuals. I don't know if this was souly the effect of the syrian rue by itself or not.
 
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Yep, it sounds like sleep paralysis to me too. With practice you can use this state to enter into a lucid dream or an out-of-body experience. If you find it too unpleasant, you can usually break through the paralysis by wiggling your fingers and toes and moving your eyes around. It will happen less frequently if you switch to sleeping on your sides instead of your back. It's not necessarily drug-related or HPPD, I had my first episodes as a teenager long before I started doing drugs.

 
But how can it be sleep paralysis when i can move, im fully able to move freely at any time of the trip like normal
 
MollySallyMaryJane said:
But how can it be sleep paralysis when i can move, im fully able to move freely at any time of the trip like normal
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I am not completely sure about this but I understand that the chemicals that trigger the hallucinations are not the same thing that cause the paralysis, And not everyone experiences a waking sleep paralysis.
But typically if you are experiencing waking paralysis you experience visions. Also I have had episodes of paralysis that did not have hallucinations or vise versa tripping going in and out of sleep with out paralysis but being very relaxed.

In my opinion and experience everyone with psychedelic experience can trigger sober hallucinations through meditation or tunneling their vision (focusing on one object long enough)

It could be possible that you are experiencing releases of dmt and other dream hormones that cause hallucinations by focusing or subconscious influences.

Everyone is schitzo on some level and experience hallucinations all the time but it takes an expanded mind to become in control of the visions or even aware that you experience hallucinations at all.



Reality is such a funny thing isn't it.
 
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I've experienced waking from a nightmare, being sleep paralyzed, and having tactile hallucinations while feeling an evil presence. That was the scariest thing I've ever felt.
These days I often wake up from nightmares which look a lot like reality and in which there is a presence observing me while I sleep.
Here is a quote from a post I've made in another thread:

I also have had, very rarely, hallucinations when waking up in the middle of the night (very rare and extremely interesting). When I talk about hallucinations, I mean that one time I woke up and heard my sister's voice whispering my name (it was during a storm and my window was open. This scared the shit out of me). I called her and noone replied. She wasn't sleeping in that room anyway! Another time I had a nightmare about a big cat that was in the room I was sleeping in. I woke up, still sleep paralyzed, felt a presence very close to me. Then I felt a cat's paw on my arm and a cat's tongue licking my face! This scared the crap out of me, I got out of my paralysis, had a lot of trouble finding the light switch (I was couchsurfing at some people's place) and while searching for it, I could feel a big cat's presence on the table. Of course when I turned the light on there was nothing. These hallucinations happened while I was awake, not dreaming. If I was supersticious I would think these were ghosts or something. Actually, a lot of the times when I have sleep paralysis, it's because I woke up from a nightmare in which there was a presence observing me while I was sleeping (creepy, I know) (this is pretty recent and I think it's linked to stress).
Click to expand...
 
A couple of things here. One is that you have a sort of visual shift from your psych use (not hppd because it is not bothersome). The "trips" you describe are essentially sleep paralysis. The presence (if during the day) is possibly related to drugs but may not be. I have had the same experience at times over the years, it comes from having parts of yourself not fully integrated
 
ComfortablyNumb95 said:
i think you just have HPPD
but i see a contradiction, first you say you can control them but then you say they come randomly.. can you explain?
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Not to aggressively nit-pick but people don't "just have" HPPD. <- That is a disorder.

These prolonged hallucinations are very common. HPPD is not.

EDIT: Even without psychedelic use, it is possible to see these type of distortions mildly. They are caused by muscles in your eye/overlapping vision.
 
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About 25 percent of the time I wake up I get blasted with yellow/geometric nitrous visuals that cover the walls and intensify into patterns then dissipate. Usually in like 20 seconds. Its almost like taking 5 mg dmt upon awaking. Not like a nitrous flashback, I only say that because it resembles the archtypal repeated image, which I think is on eroiwd somewhere.
 
pmoseman said:
Not to aggressively nit-pick but people don't "just have" HPPD. <- That is a disorder.

These prolonged hallucinations are very common. HPPD is not.

EDIT: Even without psychedelic use, it is possible to see these type of distortions mildly. They are caused by muscles in your eye/overlapping vision.
Click to expand...

You have to consider though that there is an ebb and flow based on situation. For example, reading text at night might be difficult but those effects arent bothersome while driving.
 
I hate sleep paralysis. It usually happens after a nightmare, so then I can't even get up to wake up from it. It gets painful forcing yourself for a minute or so to get up, but I keep doing that every time out of habit. I like sleeping while facing up so apparently that contributes to it. But I wish there was a way to stop it because I get it regularly, at least once a month.
 
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