Seizing on MDMA
So I wanted to throw this out there for discussion/feedback. Recently (August 15th) I went to my first rave, and took MDMA for the first time. I was with 3 friends, 2 of whom have already taken MDMA and had no bad experience on it, and another friend who was a rave/MDMA virgin like me. I would like to clarify that we get the molly from the same source every time, it tests pure, and everyone loves it. At about 7:30 we all took one point, then went to the rave. After 4 hours, I felt no come up, no MDMA...Nothing. Everyone else was rolling and having a great time. I've done a fuck ton of shit before and I'm always the one that's able to physically handle drugs, (no vomiting, seizing, eyeball deadness look or anything), as well as mentally. I can bring myself out of whatever dark place my mind goes to fairly easily. Midnight rolled around and still nothing, so I asked my friend for another point, which I took, and then felt wonderful. The come up was great, but I didn't want to dance. I just felt good and so I sat there enjoying the light shows and music.
At this point my body started having muscle spasms (in my chest/abdominal area). Eventually I couldn't control it and gave into the seizing. It's hard to put a timeline to everything and explain it all since we were all fucked up to some degree, and freaked out, but it felt like approximately a half hour. I would be able to (with great difficulty) tell my friends that I was here, I was with them, I was aware of what was going on, and that it was just my body. They were giving me water and pouring it on my head to keep me cool, and that was all fine and good, great even.
At one point 2 girls came over to us and suggested I see the EMTs that were on staff. I sat in the little room and talked to the EMT as best as I could, gave her my name, told her what I had eaten and that I was drinking water (sipping, not gulping), as well as that I was on 2 points at the time and kept going outside to keep cool. Overall, I had been doing a great job of keeping my body temperature regulated and vomiting under control up until that point. After she assessed me, we all concluded that I was fine and should just go sit outside the room near the door in case of emergency, but since I was coherent, I didn't need to be taking up that space in the EMT room in case someone really needed it.
Then I just went dark. The music (Datsik was playing at the time, which is the whole reason I came to the rave, so this is unfortunate) was like dull white noise to me. It was like a fan was on in one room and I was in another room, so low was the volume. My friends were talking to me and singing a really calm Alt-J song to relax me, which helped because it made me focus on something, but it was so hard. I had (what felt like long) bouts of just being gone, totally dark, black, nothingness in my brain. I couldn't even feel my body spasming. I felt dead. My friends were grabbing my head and forcing me to open my eyes and look at them, and that was the only thing that kept me anchored, but it was so fleeting. All I wanted to do was give in to the Molly effect of just letting go and allowing my body to just kill me, essentially.
It was almost 2am and the rave was ending, I was coming down a bit and I had to pee, so one of my girlfriends walked me to the bathroom (still in a twitching haze). I peed, twitched a little still, and then walked out of the bathroom on my own and asked sarcastically for more Molly. We left the rave, got in the car, and drove to the after party.
At the after party, I just felt fully MDMA, and there is no other way to describe it. I danced from about 2:40 to 6am, just would not stop moving. I took another point at the after party, adding up to a grand total of 3 points for the night, and felt fine. No more seizing, spasms, or twitching. We went home with a few people we met at the after party, at which point (like a total fucking moron) I did 1 line of coke, and took 2 shots of bacardi (still rolling HARD, mind you.) I convulsed consistently throughout the night, but it was more of a "I can't control my muscles contracting" type of spasm, and I was still carrying on conversations, and was there mentally.
After we went home to OUR house (arriving back in town at about noon, I attempted to sleep, only to have a dream about the rave and go into full seizure mode again, but worse. This time I couldn't speak when I tried to, I felt like I was in a hole and everyone was at the top, and there was no way I could reach them. My friends accounted the incident as "Not knowing who or where I was" and they were extremely frightened. I remember nothing from that "in a hole" state except darkness and distance. I can only recall up until the point where they rolled me from my stomach to my back to prevent me from suffocating, but they all said that they were in there for a long time, just helplessly watching me thrash my body and trying to bring me back to reality.
In summary: 2 points of MDMA made me seize uncontrollably for about a half hour, then I was fine and took another point. After all 3, I took 2 shots and did a baby line of coke.
The aftermath: from 6am on 8/16 to right now (4:30 on 8/17) I have still been convulsing occasionally. It has definitely gotten better over time and with sleep but is worse when I'm sitting/laying down.
My questions: How do I prevent this from happening again, short of not taking MDMA? How can I time my come up/down better so that I'm not on "too much" MDMA at once? Has this happened to anyone before?
ANY input will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
So I wanted to throw this out there for discussion/feedback. Recently (August 15th) I went to my first rave, and took MDMA for the first time. I was with 3 friends, 2 of whom have already taken MDMA and had no bad experience on it, and another friend who was a rave/MDMA virgin like me. I would like to clarify that we get the molly from the same source every time, it tests pure, and everyone loves it. At about 7:30 we all took one point, then went to the rave. After 4 hours, I felt no come up, no MDMA...Nothing. Everyone else was rolling and having a great time. I've done a fuck ton of shit before and I'm always the one that's able to physically handle drugs, (no vomiting, seizing, eyeball deadness look or anything), as well as mentally. I can bring myself out of whatever dark place my mind goes to fairly easily. Midnight rolled around and still nothing, so I asked my friend for another point, which I took, and then felt wonderful. The come up was great, but I didn't want to dance. I just felt good and so I sat there enjoying the light shows and music.
At this point my body started having muscle spasms (in my chest/abdominal area). Eventually I couldn't control it and gave into the seizing. It's hard to put a timeline to everything and explain it all since we were all fucked up to some degree, and freaked out, but it felt like approximately a half hour. I would be able to (with great difficulty) tell my friends that I was here, I was with them, I was aware of what was going on, and that it was just my body. They were giving me water and pouring it on my head to keep me cool, and that was all fine and good, great even.
At one point 2 girls came over to us and suggested I see the EMTs that were on staff. I sat in the little room and talked to the EMT as best as I could, gave her my name, told her what I had eaten and that I was drinking water (sipping, not gulping), as well as that I was on 2 points at the time and kept going outside to keep cool. Overall, I had been doing a great job of keeping my body temperature regulated and vomiting under control up until that point. After she assessed me, we all concluded that I was fine and should just go sit outside the room near the door in case of emergency, but since I was coherent, I didn't need to be taking up that space in the EMT room in case someone really needed it.
Then I just went dark. The music (Datsik was playing at the time, which is the whole reason I came to the rave, so this is unfortunate) was like dull white noise to me. It was like a fan was on in one room and I was in another room, so low was the volume. My friends were talking to me and singing a really calm Alt-J song to relax me, which helped because it made me focus on something, but it was so hard. I had (what felt like long) bouts of just being gone, totally dark, black, nothingness in my brain. I couldn't even feel my body spasming. I felt dead. My friends were grabbing my head and forcing me to open my eyes and look at them, and that was the only thing that kept me anchored, but it was so fleeting. All I wanted to do was give in to the Molly effect of just letting go and allowing my body to just kill me, essentially.
It was almost 2am and the rave was ending, I was coming down a bit and I had to pee, so one of my girlfriends walked me to the bathroom (still in a twitching haze). I peed, twitched a little still, and then walked out of the bathroom on my own and asked sarcastically for more Molly. We left the rave, got in the car, and drove to the after party.
At the after party, I just felt fully MDMA, and there is no other way to describe it. I danced from about 2:40 to 6am, just would not stop moving. I took another point at the after party, adding up to a grand total of 3 points for the night, and felt fine. No more seizing, spasms, or twitching. We went home with a few people we met at the after party, at which point (like a total fucking moron) I did 1 line of coke, and took 2 shots of bacardi (still rolling HARD, mind you.) I convulsed consistently throughout the night, but it was more of a "I can't control my muscles contracting" type of spasm, and I was still carrying on conversations, and was there mentally.
After we went home to OUR house (arriving back in town at about noon, I attempted to sleep, only to have a dream about the rave and go into full seizure mode again, but worse. This time I couldn't speak when I tried to, I felt like I was in a hole and everyone was at the top, and there was no way I could reach them. My friends accounted the incident as "Not knowing who or where I was" and they were extremely frightened. I remember nothing from that "in a hole" state except darkness and distance. I can only recall up until the point where they rolled me from my stomach to my back to prevent me from suffocating, but they all said that they were in there for a long time, just helplessly watching me thrash my body and trying to bring me back to reality.
In summary: 2 points of MDMA made me seize uncontrollably for about a half hour, then I was fine and took another point. After all 3, I took 2 shots and did a baby line of coke.
The aftermath: from 6am on 8/16 to right now (4:30 on 8/17) I have still been convulsing occasionally. It has definitely gotten better over time and with sleep but is worse when I'm sitting/laying down.
My questions: How do I prevent this from happening again, short of not taking MDMA? How can I time my come up/down better so that I'm not on "too much" MDMA at once? Has this happened to anyone before?
ANY input will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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