Sixshooter666
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2018
- Messages
- 2
Hi all, happy friday. To start of this is my first time posting after lurking of and off for several years so if I mess this up please let me know. (thanks BL for teaching me how to cold water extract Norcos when I was 16 in 2012... That saved my intestines:D.)
I've been off and on the opiate train for the past 8 years, (standard progression, percs->oxys->heroin->IV) I had two years clean from all drugs but then relapsed on heroin and poppy seed tea. Finally I got sick of it and didn't want to lose my job so I went on a suboxone program. It worked fine for me for two months until I decided that it wasn't being truly "clean" (my whole community now a days is recovering addicts who don't approve of sub maintenance) so I went to try inpatient treatment. I lasted 30 days and ended up back on suboxone. At first I was just taking a 2mg strip and cutting it into quarters and taking a half of a quarter and plugging it twice a day and it did wonders. No withdrawal, minimum cravings, a nice buzz all day, etc... Then after a few more months I relapsed on opiate pills and xanax and weed. I did some fucking terrible pressed blue 30's that made me and my fiance feel fucking terribly sick for 2 days. (like there was a opiate RC in it or something that had a nice rush but WAY to many side effects, it was a dirty high like super stepped on dope.) That was a wake up call. Ive been spending all of my money of these f*cking pills just for 2 hours of bliss.. I just need to stick to my suboxone program.
The problem is tolerance with the bupe and chasing the buzz. A half of a quater isn't doing it anymore. No buzz at all, no slight mood change, just normal. I decided to try plugging a whole quarter today and I feel a alright buzz, like I don't feel the need to buy pills/dope now.. Does anyone have experience with this struggle? Every time I get cravings and am feeling less effects should I just gradually raise my dose? I know I'm only buying myself time until I have to kick the subs. Any life advice or experience or recommendations would really be appreciated. I know using suboxone for the buzz isn't the "recovery" thing to do, but I need it. I feel shame saying that but I need the high.
I don't want to go back to shooting heroin, I don't want to spend the little cash I have on pain pills, I don't want to lose my job (I work at a rehab could you imagine the irony) and be homeless again or lose my girl.
So seriously any advice on sub maintenance and tolerance would be very appreciated.
I've been off and on the opiate train for the past 8 years, (standard progression, percs->oxys->heroin->IV) I had two years clean from all drugs but then relapsed on heroin and poppy seed tea. Finally I got sick of it and didn't want to lose my job so I went on a suboxone program. It worked fine for me for two months until I decided that it wasn't being truly "clean" (my whole community now a days is recovering addicts who don't approve of sub maintenance) so I went to try inpatient treatment. I lasted 30 days and ended up back on suboxone. At first I was just taking a 2mg strip and cutting it into quarters and taking a half of a quarter and plugging it twice a day and it did wonders. No withdrawal, minimum cravings, a nice buzz all day, etc... Then after a few more months I relapsed on opiate pills and xanax and weed. I did some fucking terrible pressed blue 30's that made me and my fiance feel fucking terribly sick for 2 days. (like there was a opiate RC in it or something that had a nice rush but WAY to many side effects, it was a dirty high like super stepped on dope.) That was a wake up call. Ive been spending all of my money of these f*cking pills just for 2 hours of bliss.. I just need to stick to my suboxone program.
The problem is tolerance with the bupe and chasing the buzz. A half of a quater isn't doing it anymore. No buzz at all, no slight mood change, just normal. I decided to try plugging a whole quarter today and I feel a alright buzz, like I don't feel the need to buy pills/dope now.. Does anyone have experience with this struggle? Every time I get cravings and am feeling less effects should I just gradually raise my dose? I know I'm only buying myself time until I have to kick the subs. Any life advice or experience or recommendations would really be appreciated. I know using suboxone for the buzz isn't the "recovery" thing to do, but I need it. I feel shame saying that but I need the high.
I don't want to go back to shooting heroin, I don't want to spend the little cash I have on pain pills, I don't want to lose my job (I work at a rehab could you imagine the irony) and be homeless again or lose my girl.
So seriously any advice on sub maintenance and tolerance would be very appreciated.