crzydiamond
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2013
- Messages
- 1,035
Let me preface this by saying I don’t believe he ever created an account here.
Michael was my partner of 12 years and a stepfather to my son from the time before my son was born
I found out yesterday he passed away at the age of 36. On Saturday— my son’s birthday. September 24.
I had left him in January because when he used he became very mentally and emotionally abusive as well as doing things like slashing my tire because he imagined I was going to meet a non existent other boyfriend. For context— I never cheated on him.
Because of the above, I can’t really get the grief out because no one understands why I’d mourn him after some of what I went through. He had been estranged from his family, but reconnected this year. But he deserves to be remembered.
My heart is heavy. I just feel so sad— he just got out of rehab not even a month ago and was looking good and got a job etc
but he always would self sabotage. He didn’t have it in him to struggle through the building his life back. He hated staying at the halfway type house he had to go to after rehab. He went back to staying in the streets.
We messaged over the past few weeks and spoke on my son’s bday /the day he died. He loved him like a son in spite of all his shortcomings that was his one happiness in life.
i just really hoped this time he wouldnt fall.
i told him repeatedly how I was happy he was doing well (til he wasn’t, i knew the last week he went downhill). N even then I tried to tell him id be here if he needed anything. To vent to talk.
He kept everything inside.
Michael. Wherever you may be, i hope you finally aren’t so miserable. I hope you find the peace and contentment that eluded you in life. And I’m so so sorry this is how it ended for you. I wanted you to keep the light in your eyes you had the last time I saw you.
fly free babe. I’ll miss you.
Michael was my partner of 12 years and a stepfather to my son from the time before my son was born
I found out yesterday he passed away at the age of 36. On Saturday— my son’s birthday. September 24.
I had left him in January because when he used he became very mentally and emotionally abusive as well as doing things like slashing my tire because he imagined I was going to meet a non existent other boyfriend. For context— I never cheated on him.
Because of the above, I can’t really get the grief out because no one understands why I’d mourn him after some of what I went through. He had been estranged from his family, but reconnected this year. But he deserves to be remembered.
My heart is heavy. I just feel so sad— he just got out of rehab not even a month ago and was looking good and got a job etc
but he always would self sabotage. He didn’t have it in him to struggle through the building his life back. He hated staying at the halfway type house he had to go to after rehab. He went back to staying in the streets.
We messaged over the past few weeks and spoke on my son’s bday /the day he died. He loved him like a son in spite of all his shortcomings that was his one happiness in life.
i just really hoped this time he wouldnt fall.
i told him repeatedly how I was happy he was doing well (til he wasn’t, i knew the last week he went downhill). N even then I tried to tell him id be here if he needed anything. To vent to talk.
He kept everything inside.
Michael. Wherever you may be, i hope you finally aren’t so miserable. I hope you find the peace and contentment that eluded you in life. And I’m so so sorry this is how it ended for you. I wanted you to keep the light in your eyes you had the last time I saw you.
fly free babe. I’ll miss you.
