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Retaining trust and love but having a threesome?

Cream Gravy?

Cream Gravy?

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Jan 28, 2014
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Wife and I have been together for 10+ years now, married for 1+. We have great sex and are very happy with our relationship.

But recently, we've discussed trying to bring another girl to our bedroom. The usual trust/loyalty issues have arisen. I think she's on board (my fear is of her liking pussy more than my dick) and her fear is me well, 'cheating' and getting on too well with the new girl.

So for those of you in long term relationships, past or present, how has having a threesome effected your relationship. Did it split you? Cause a fight? Become a monthly sex romp?

I'm all ears.
 
It can go either way and unfortunately there's no predicting which.

There's a good chance that it will impact negatively on your relationship. Not definitely, and not guaranteed to be straightaway, but a good chance nonetheless

I guess the question is - is it worth the risk?
 
yeah too many variables

for me threesomes are better with 3 singles, add a couple= fucked up dynamics just round the corner
 
We talked a lot about it last night but are still undecided.

The same fears still persist. She gets easily jealous and I have insecurity since my wife doesn't actually believe in soul mates or the like, so while I think we're meant to be mated for life, she thinks it's all just a coincidence that we ended up together.

But we both wana fuck some strange so bad -_-

Ugh.
 
Do you wanna make a experiment or something? I mean this is what I understood from your words.
 
Shady's Fox said:
Do you wanna make a experiment or something? I mean this is what I understood from your words.
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Not sure what you mean.

We're both interested in having a threesome with another girl, but we're apprehensive because of the prior mentioned reasons. I'm asking if anyone here has experience having a threesome as a couple, and how it affected their relationship after.
 
Aha, one or 2 times we've had a threesome. We are together since we were kids and.. we didn't had any money sometimes during our vacations and the only option was.. you know, if you look at this, I did this somehow as a ''obligation'' rather than a experiment in our relationship but I don't think it would affect that much. It depends.. it can go bad and you still together for a while and then break-up, also it can work and your relationship trust increases and both of you growths.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
We talked a lot about it last night but are still undecided.

The same fears still persist. She gets easily jealous and I have insecurity since my wife doesn't actually believe in soul mates or the like, so while I think we're meant to be mated for life, she thinks it's all just a coincidence that we ended up together.

But we both wana fuck some strange so bad -_-

Ugh.
Click to expand...

Ok, so if there are already jealousy and insecurity issues between you two, why would you even want to risk bringing someone else into your marriage?

It's going to be a disaster if you do. I can already tell.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Wife and I have been together for 10+ years now, married for 1+. We have great sex and are very happy with our relationship.

But recently, we've discussed trying to bring another girl to our bedroom. The usual trust/loyalty issues have arisen. I think she's on board (my fear is of her liking pussy more than my dick) and her fear is me well, 'cheating' and getting on too well with the new girl.

So for those of you in long term relationships, past or present, how has having a threesome effected your relationship. Did it split you? Cause a fight? Become a monthly sex romp?

I'm all ears.
Click to expand...

Unless the prior information has ben deleted, there is a ton of information from many many posters on this topic pro and con. I would try and find it if you can. Maybe one of the moderators can help you do that if you cannot find it.
Hope this is helpful.

SamanthaB
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Ok, so if there are already jealousy and insecurity issues between you two, why would you even want to risk bringing someone else into your marriage?

It's going to be a disaster if you do. I can already tell.
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Have to quote this for posterity as am in total agreement with the poster for once :)

From the info OP has provided (jealousy and insecurity), I'd say you're at serious risk of your relationship being compromised if you pursue this idea. There's no guarantee either way of course, but you would be taking a serious risk so it's up to you if you think it's worth it.

Am experienced in the situation with two previous partners, and also as the single with the couple.
 
If you both have fears beforehand one of you is guaranteed to have a bigger one after
 
if u want me to come and smash the life out of her just let me know 👍🏻
 
Well if you believe she's is your soul mate then you can either have faith that she will stay emotionally loyal to you while you guys experiment or you can accept that this isn't something that's going to work for a healthy dynamic.

If you guys do the threesome and she doesn't stick around, perhaps it wasn't actually a soul bond.

Same can be said though about your desire to Boink with someone other than yourwife and supposed soulmate
 
The fact that they are talking openly about their feelings means they are already miles ahead of most couples who are in therapy.

Don't rush this, OP. You two have something really special right now, I don't know if you can see it or not. The strength you two have can be made even stronger if you choose to take these steps VERY slowly. Respect each others boundaries and you two can take this as far as you want.
 
Soso78 said:
if u want me to come and smash the life out of her just let me know 👍🏻
Click to expand...
I'm no cuck we just like women (y)

CoastTwoCoast said:
Sounds more like they need a marriage counselor instead of a threesome.
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Nope, we're miles closer together emotionally than 99.9% of couples out there. There was just an incident a while back with a girl who came onto me then tried to get us to threesome but wife didn't like her so it created a sort of spat. We've talked that over lots and it's not going to split us, but is our source of fear over finding a girl we both like and then proceeding to fuck her.
 
ChipTrippyFox said:
Well if you believe she's is your soul mate then you can either have faith that she will stay emotionally loyal to you while you guys experiment or you can accept that this isn't something that's going to work for a healthy dynamic.

If you guys do the threesome and she doesn't stick around, perhaps it wasn't actually a soul bond.

Same can be said though about your desire to Boink with someone other than yourwife and supposed soulmate
Click to expand...
I think you make some fair points. We both agree that we want to stay together, I mean it's her literal fear though that she might like pussy more than dick. And ergo lose interest in sex with me in the long term, which would blow cause I love fucking her silly.

Both of us want to fuck other people, that's only natural. I've never met a single couple ever, or even heard of one, where they would both say they have absolutely no attraction whatsoever to other human beings. We were not built for monogamy but we try to make it work because it provides stability and security.

Like seriously, anyone who is in a relationship, you cannot tell me that thoughts of infidelity NEVER cross your mind. It's only human. I think Eyes Wide Shut was such an evocative portrayal of this dilemma.
 
Here is a random thought I had and feel free to dismiss it at your discretion (you know your wife better than I do)

But.. what are the chances that your wife isn't fully into the idea and is using the "I'm afraid I would like the pussy more than you" line as a means to get you to avoid the situation?

Perhaps she is more apprehensive than she may appear, even if she is truly curious. She could be worried that it is you who would like the new girl more. Women have a tendency to be indirect when it comes to their true feelings.

For the record I'm not against the idea of open relationship type things. I just want to help you explore all avenues of thought before you dive into something :)
 
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