Hello,
My name is Oran I'm 23 yo and currently living in my parents house
I will start by saying that as for now my mind and spiritual self & imagination are very weak
I'm feeling that these are my last days on earth.. although this is not true obviously but my dark night of the soul has gone completely wrong
It all started at the beginning of the year when I went to a party at a club and smoked some weed
at the party i had a complete breakdown with my sense of self because of my sexual difficulties
I decided after a long progress with my sexual Chakra that I'm probably gay and hence I wanted to transform myself into a gay person
so when I was at the party i started crying and acting strange because I felt no one is accepting me.. it was a drugs rave
after the rave has finished I felt completely drained and looked for a ride home
found some guy who was apparently a friend from Facebook
when we arrived to my Hometown he just flipped out on me probably because he was tripping and I didn't have good vibes with him
should mention that I took a puff from his joint so probably some of the trip went through me
afterwards he just dropped me at a station near nowhere
and that's when things went really wrong
I started walking to a park and asked some people who were flying a helicopters through the sky if I could sit with them
when I sat down I felt that I was tripping really bad everything felt wrong and I couldn't sit quietly and afterwards when they started lifting there helicopters to the sky I felt myself torn from planet earth and being vacuumed into space
i started panic and seeing my mom with a dog saying:"he's gay and that is ok" and than i saw my father as god saying it's ok he wont murder anyone
afterwards I saw myself as a little kid hiking with a huge dog
and the sense of fear was really overwhelming so I started to panic and the planet was moving so I didn't know what to do just asked for a friend in my head to help me and started to communicate with her mentally
than I went to her house and felt good again.
after this happened I started receiving negative feedbacks from my echo and that made me search for a person to rely on so I went back to people I sort of knew which did some drugs and can help me alter my preception completly
so I started communicating with a guy who does shrooms and he started to help me feeling more secure in my own skin
and through the process I was ok i guess but now the relationship i have with him has gone completely wrong I felt that i got sucked into his trip and synchronization and now I can't exit from it
my cigarettes have started to smell funny and suddenly everything turned quiet overtime even my own thinking process
than later the fears started to arrive I felt that I'm just a no man with no imagination or echo to rely on my voice has shut completely also my imagination has turned diabolic
and the synchronization of the shrooms didn't help me either so i started to deny everything and went really sour to this energy which helped me
I'm currently not smoking anything but cigarettes but still feeling like I'm in a dream and should start doing shrooms because I'm really emptied out from light
can't see a thing barley breathing actually..
and the funny part is that I actually figured out that I'm straight and did all of that shit just because I was afraid to discover my true self
and currently I'm feeling that my eyes are seeing wrong.. I used to see floaters but now I'm not seeing a thing not even a picture of my mother in my mind's eye
just death and fear everywhere
and I'm feeling that my balls have craked and my left eye is exposed to the sun and my right eye is seeing everything stretched including light traces
I'm straight and this is my final decision but now my whole yin and yang concept is wired and I don't know on what I should rely.
I'm still receving help from the shrooms energy but can't smoke weed because the smoking session has become panicking
I felt at Sukkot that my soul went to the spiritual dimension and I'm always feeling fear that I can't focus because I got lost there
I dont know whet I should do.
Please If anyone is experiencing the same things I'm looking forward to your help
Peace and Love to all ?
Oran.
My name is Oran I'm 23 yo and currently living in my parents house
I will start by saying that as for now my mind and spiritual self & imagination are very weak
I'm feeling that these are my last days on earth.. although this is not true obviously but my dark night of the soul has gone completely wrong
It all started at the beginning of the year when I went to a party at a club and smoked some weed
at the party i had a complete breakdown with my sense of self because of my sexual difficulties
I decided after a long progress with my sexual Chakra that I'm probably gay and hence I wanted to transform myself into a gay person
so when I was at the party i started crying and acting strange because I felt no one is accepting me.. it was a drugs rave
after the rave has finished I felt completely drained and looked for a ride home
found some guy who was apparently a friend from Facebook
when we arrived to my Hometown he just flipped out on me probably because he was tripping and I didn't have good vibes with him
should mention that I took a puff from his joint so probably some of the trip went through me
afterwards he just dropped me at a station near nowhere
and that's when things went really wrong
I started walking to a park and asked some people who were flying a helicopters through the sky if I could sit with them
when I sat down I felt that I was tripping really bad everything felt wrong and I couldn't sit quietly and afterwards when they started lifting there helicopters to the sky I felt myself torn from planet earth and being vacuumed into space
i started panic and seeing my mom with a dog saying:"he's gay and that is ok" and than i saw my father as god saying it's ok he wont murder anyone
afterwards I saw myself as a little kid hiking with a huge dog
and the sense of fear was really overwhelming so I started to panic and the planet was moving so I didn't know what to do just asked for a friend in my head to help me and started to communicate with her mentally
than I went to her house and felt good again.
after this happened I started receiving negative feedbacks from my echo and that made me search for a person to rely on so I went back to people I sort of knew which did some drugs and can help me alter my preception completly
so I started communicating with a guy who does shrooms and he started to help me feeling more secure in my own skin
and through the process I was ok i guess but now the relationship i have with him has gone completely wrong I felt that i got sucked into his trip and synchronization and now I can't exit from it
my cigarettes have started to smell funny and suddenly everything turned quiet overtime even my own thinking process
than later the fears started to arrive I felt that I'm just a no man with no imagination or echo to rely on my voice has shut completely also my imagination has turned diabolic
and the synchronization of the shrooms didn't help me either so i started to deny everything and went really sour to this energy which helped me
I'm currently not smoking anything but cigarettes but still feeling like I'm in a dream and should start doing shrooms because I'm really emptied out from light
can't see a thing barley breathing actually..
and the funny part is that I actually figured out that I'm straight and did all of that shit just because I was afraid to discover my true self
and currently I'm feeling that my eyes are seeing wrong.. I used to see floaters but now I'm not seeing a thing not even a picture of my mother in my mind's eye
just death and fear everywhere
and I'm feeling that my balls have craked and my left eye is exposed to the sun and my right eye is seeing everything stretched including light traces
I'm straight and this is my final decision but now my whole yin and yang concept is wired and I don't know on what I should rely.
I'm still receving help from the shrooms energy but can't smoke weed because the smoking session has become panicking
I felt at Sukkot that my soul went to the spiritual dimension and I'm always feeling fear that I can't focus because I got lost there
I dont know whet I should do.
Please If anyone is experiencing the same things I'm looking forward to your help
Peace and Love to all ?
Oran.