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Rely on my girlfriend too much.

PassthatT

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Messages
57
Hey everyone I wanted to see if I could get some advice. I have a hard time being away from my girlfriend, I rely on her attention too much and I don't know how to distract myself. About a year and a half ago we moved out on our own and we're living in a hotel for 6-8 months and during that time all I did was work and go home and be with her and it has been like that for the majority of the time since we moved out of a hotel. I never had time to meet people and I don't live in the same town as my old friends. She goes out of town sometimes and things are different now but I don't know how to just not want to be around her or talk to her. any advice would be great! Thank you!
 
I do love her, I've been with her 4.5 years, I just don't want to drive her crazy by bothering her all the time and not having any thing else in life
 
Hm. I think it's great that you are catching this about yourself! You feel like you're bothering her.. and coming across too needy? I love that you're being proactive about it and posting here!! It's not a bad thing to try and improve yourself and your relationship. :)

1. Get some friends. Can you go out with coworkers? Can you join a gym or club? Volunteer?

2. Focus on quality over quantity time with your gf. Don't just rush to go home so you can chill & watch TV together. Plan a date night! Try a new restaurant or activity, give her new experiences so she's not bored and you can focus on strengthening your relationship. It's been 4.5 years, you guys obviously love each other but don't be boring!!
 
get a hobby

though i found the best way to get friends in a new town is from living in a shared house with lots of people
 
Do you have any hobbies?

There is saying that rings quite true, you got to learn to make yourself happy before you can make someone else happy.

I can't stand someone who won't give me some space to draw or paint.

That beind said, a career where I am working on my own time and enjoy what I do does not mean I can just stop working and even if it wasn't my chosen career path I still would want time to myself.

I also need some time to go skateboard. I need my exercise and some time to clear my head and that does it for me. I don't mind if my gf wants to watch but if it was every time I would not like it at all. It is a dangerous sport at times and learning new stuff takes a clear mind and I don't mind showing people stuff I can do but to progress I need some time to just work on stuff I don't know and am not that good at. I am just using this as an example.

I couldn't learn how to do a hardflip and have a conversation at the same time unless it was about hardflips. I am working on hardflips now and yeah the last thing I want is someone watching me.

Clingy gets old and makes you feel smothered. So try to keep that in mind. I dunno go for a walk or read a book. Think about what you enjoyed doing before her or things you always wanted to do.

I am just saying I couldn't be with someone 24/7/365. I also couldn't be someones sole source of entertainment either. People usually work or read. Even if bed after sex people pick up books and read a bit. You gotta give someone their space.
 
Why don't you go out of town also to be with your friends. As a woman nothing is more annoying then a guy with no interest other then me. Cute at first. Gets old fast. Get some friends. A hobby? Do something besides obsess
 
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