Relationships and crack

[siruspoolzx]

So I met an amazing man, he was a user in his days. Anyways he has accepted me with my usage infront of him, encouraged not going cold turkey. Also that he can be there for my opoid addiction aswell.
Anyways is this too good to be true. He's been solid for four months. I haven't asked for money or anything, but would assume he would offer it if I was in dire need.
Is this okay

 

[siruspoolzx]

He deals with my moods from 1/10 to 10/10 daily
Cooks cleans. Puts my house coat on etc...
Can this relationship work?

 

[negrogesic]

Is he much older than you?

What does "Puts my house coat on etc" mean?

I'm a bit of a hypocrite; while I've been a drug user I don't really date women who use drugs. Not exactly by principle, but just by circumstance. But I don't think I'd like it. She'd really have to be something special in all regards. Either way I'd try to help her fix it. Opioid addiction can be treated, but smoking crack is a dead end (I know from experience).

But shit, doesn't sound like an actual relationship but more like an arrangement. I could be wrong.

But sounds like there is some imbalance in said situation. How much crack are you smoking on a daily basis? If you've got a heavy habit how are you paying for it?

 

[negrogesic]

Moved from OD to SLR

 

[siruspoolzx]

About 2 grams a day, he's 20 years older. He said the love word 3 weeks in.
He literally will help me cook it, buy it, etc.
I don't understand. Anyways he's clean, but wants to help me get clean. Offered me as much time as I need at his house.

 

[snmfmy]

About 2 grams a day, he's 20 years older. He said the love word 3 weeks in.
He literally will help me cook it, buy it, etc.
I don't understand. Anyways he's clean, but wants to help me get clean. Offered me as much time as I need at his house.

You are the bird with a broken wing that fell out of the nest and he's going to take care of you so you can fly again.

And I am being completely serious.

There are many people like him that are carers and need to fix people. Perhaps he lost a previous lover to addiction, not necessarily.

Or he could have become completely smitten with you, and accepts you and loves you regardless of your faults.

 

[snmfmy]

About 2 grams a day, he's 20 years older. He said the love word 3 weeks in.
He literally will help me cook it, buy it, etc.
I don't understand. Anyways he's clean, but wants to help me get clean. Offered me as much time as I need at his house.

You said in the first post that you haven't asked him for any money, yet in this one you say that he buys crack for you.

Are you living at his place yet? I assume that you're sleeping together.

He sounds like a Crack Daddy instead of a Sugar Daddy.

Again, I'm not saying that his feelings for you aren't genuine.

 

[siruspoolzx]

Not buy crack but has his connection. Tried not to think of it, as he said he got his ex powder in the past. I'm sure if I had no cash he would offer it unconditionally. I don't know I haven't ever had anything like this. I really am looking at a long term situation with him. Just not sure if this is a red flag as it's my life right now. He's just supportive in general.

 

[foodcrisis]

So you are saying that you are with a dude and his connections are how you get your drugs?

if i'm reading correctly, just think about if you'd be wasting your time with him if he weren't getting you drugs or if you and him feel something else for each other that would be there with out the drugs. if you're only real connection to the guy is that he's getting you drugs, it might not be the best situation for your mental health with how some people's minds work.

 

[pharaoh]

This doesn't sound right. Do you love him? I don't think a heavy crack habit can allow someone to be in a functional relationship tbh due to how volatile it is. You said opioids as well? The nature of your relationship seems unclear and the best advice in terms of dealing with your addiction (if that's what you want to do), then you should try and access services available to you if there are any. If he is supportive and wants to help, he will encourage that. If he is letting you stay with him, sourcing you crack and all the rest of it, it doesn't sound like he's got your best interests at heart. With all due respect, it sounds more like it could become a situation in which you may become beholden to a man who is feeding your addiction to keep you around and you haven't known him long.

It sounds wrong to me based on what you've said and as a younger person addicted to crack, you are vulnerable and he might turn out to have intentions that are exploitative.

I'm not saying this to be harsh or whatever, I just don't trust it. Unless he is qualified to do so, he can't help you with your addiction and even though I dislike the term, it sounds more like he is "enabling" you. Also, his "connections" being the supply to your habit sounds extra dodgy, like he's maybe into dealing himself and might have you carrying things around for him and his "connections".

I'd get out now and do it safely. Sounds like a potentially dangerous situation.

 

[snmfmy]

Not buy crack but has his connection. Tried not to think of it, as he said he got his ex powder in the past. I'm sure if I had no cash he would offer it unconditionally. I don't know I haven't ever had anything like this. I really am looking at a long term situation with him. Just not sure if this is a red flag as it's my life right now. He's just supportive in general.

If you don't want to share that's fine, but how old are you? Do you have any financial assets or stability?

I'm not saying that this guy is acting as a predator. But I'm a guy in my 50s and I have come across a lot of men that are my age and have some financial means and use it to trap and control Younger women who may or may not have substance issues as a way to honestly have live in pussy.

I refuse to participate in something like that even though it would be very easy for me to do so.

 

[siruspoolzx]

So I'm on a stress leave from work. Make decent money being off 900 a week. Also when im working its about 9k a month. Own my apartment, have my tows etc. I'm 33 male, he's 51 male.
Anyways he's trying to let me withdraw at his place complained to my moms. He jives sexually massively.
He also mentioned to deal with the withdrawls from my perscriptions. Than tackle the crack.
He's on a disability, and personally just a kind heart. I have till August covered, and am in therapy (counselling).
He mentioned he has had a massive coke addition in his 30s and just knows how it is.
He will wake me up through the night and give me a 1/4 of my 20 just so I dont withdraw.
Tapering he says. I have known him almost 4 weeks and he's okay with everything about me. Honestly never connected like this with a person. Felt like I knew him for years.
Not my typical I would date yes, but he came at the wrong but right time. Finally can date the heart.
He does try to manage very lightly to get me to eat, space out my grams per day etc. He mentioned he would do anything, the ex threw me into 40k debt, and I used my 20k bonus on this shit in 2 months.
Gives me ativan, xanax, t3s if I have a head ache. Just amazing in general.

 

[snmfmy]

So I'm on a stress leave from work. Make decent money being off 900 a week. Also when im working its about 9k a month. Own my apartment, have my tows etc. I'm 33 male, he's 51 male.
Anyways he's trying to let me withdraw at his place complained to my moms. He jives sexually massively.
He also mentioned to deal with the withdrawls from my perscriptions. Than tackle the crack.
He's on a disability, and personally just a kind heart. I have till August covered, and am in therapy (counselling).
He mentioned he has had a massive coke addition in his 30s and just knows how it is.
He will wake me up through the night and give me a 1/4 of my 20 just so I dont withdraw.
Tapering he says. I have known him almost 4 weeks and he's okay with everything about me. Honestly never connected like this with a person. Felt like I knew him for years.
Not my typical I would date yes, but he came at the wrong but right time. Finally can date the heart.
He does try to manage very lightly to get me to eat, space out my grams per day etc. He mentioned he would do anything, the ex threw me into 40k debt, and I used my 20k bonus on this shit in 2 months.
Gives me ativan, xanax, t3s if I have a head ache. Just amazing in general.

Well that's fantastic. Maybe you should go play the lottery.

If he's genuine then you found the needle in the haystack.

You should do yourself both a favor and seriously get off the drugs.

 

[Parabolan]

Would you please buy me a lottery ticket?

 

[endlessnameless]

Is he much older than you?

What does "Puts my house coat on etc" mean?

I'm a bit of a hypocrite; while I've been a drug user I don't really date women who use drugs. Not exactly by principle, but just by circumstance. But I don't think I'd like it. She'd really have to be something special in all regards. Either way I'd try to help her fix it. Opioid addiction can be treated, but smoking crack is a dead end (I know from experience).

But shit, doesn't sound like an actual relationship but more like an arrangement. I could be wrong.

But sounds like there is some imbalance in said situation. How much crack are you smoking on a daily basis? If you've got a heavy habit how are you paying for it?

I'm the very same, I wont go near a girl who's using drugs because I know I'd never get off them. My DOC is opioids and I have absolutely NO desire for sex when I'm using, which can be quite a problem when you're supposed to be in a relationship,

 

[fairnymph]

I'm the very same, I wont go near a girl who's using drugs because I know I'd never get off them. My DOC is opioids and I have absolutely NO desire for sex when I'm using, which can be quite a problem when you're supposed to be in a relationship,

I’ve always dated other users but I think I shouldn’t do so again. But I don‘t know if I could truly connect with someone who’s always been straight edge. Those types are usually not the most open-minded, inquisitive, adventurous etc. Essential traits in a partner.

 

[endlessnameless]

I’ve always dated other users but I think I shouldn’t do so again. But I don‘t know if I could truly connect with someone who’s always been straight edge. Those types are usually not the most open-minded, inquisitive, adventurous etc. Essential traits in a partner.

I see where you're coming from. I don't mind dating former users, but theres no way I'm going to enter into a relationship with a woman in active addiction (at least not stronger than weed anyway) because I'll be straight back on the stuff. I just know in my heart and soul that if she was using opioids around me I wouldn't be able to resist you know? That's why I don't hang around with any of my buddies who are still in active addiction - I'm no where near the point where I can resist the stuff if I'm around it so I'm just rolling solo these days and trying to get my life together.

I certainly feel you on not being able to connect with someone who's always been straight edge though. I've dated girls like that in the past and it never worked out for any longer than a year max. I'd be honest with them about my past and although they were understanding, I'd always feel like there was a disconnect there.

 

[fairnymph]

I see where you're coming from. I don't mind dating former users, but theres no way I'm going to enter into a relationship with a woman in active addiction (at least not stronger than weed anyway) because I'll be straight back on the stuff. I just know in my heart and soul that if she was using opioids around me I wouldn't be able to resist you know? That's why I don't hang around with any of my buddies who are still in active addiction - I'm no where near the point where I can resist the stuff if I'm around it so I'm just rolling solo these days and trying to get my life together.

I certainly feel you on not being able to connect with someone who's always been straight edge though. I've dated girls like that in the past and it never worked out for any longer than a year max. I'd be honest with them about my past and although they were understanding, I'd always feel like there was a disconnect there.

As someone who uses opiates for pain, I definitely wouldn’t date someone who finds them highly recreational or has ever abused them. Been there, done that, disastrous.

 

[endlessnameless]

As someone who uses opiates for pain, I definitely wouldn’t date someone who finds them highly recreational or has ever abused them. Been there, done that, disastrous.

Best not to, the likelihood is your meds would be going missing left right and centre. Even if they entered into the relationship with some sobriety under their belt, it likely wouldn't be long until they relapsed knowing that you have a prescription, then the relationship would fall to shit and they'd break your heart.

 

[siruspoolzx]

This relationship was a shit show. If someone is feeding you drugs while not partaking red flag. Not that I cared and saw all the signs (dead in addiction).
Anyways the guy ended up being part of a Christians against drugs and violence bullshit of a group.
Know it's coming, consequences... Best intimacy I have had... Just life got flipped upside down. Don't do crack. I honestly thought I had it under wraps. Now have a daily habit of a gram. Was way worse. Going on 5-6months.