The Network
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2010
- Messages
- 1,970
I'm going to keep this short because I'm pretty depressed right now and I just want to get back into bed and sleep for 12 hours.
I've never been good at talking to women at all, especially ones I found beautiful and wanted to ask out. I met this girl online something like a year ago on another forum, she was harassing my friend and had pissed me off in the past before so I was pretty relentless in my assholeness to her that night. I know, great way to meet, foundation of the best relationship ever. Anyway, we got to talking later that night and we actually ended up hitting it off and dating for a little while. The dating was on and off with various reasons for mini-breakups being like "You're too negative" "you're too insensitive" etc, I really did try to be a better person, and I think I was.
The problem, I'm pretty sure now, is mostly her. I think she wants to like me some days and wants me to die other days. It's become terrible at this point, I've spent almost the entire weekend in bed being depressed, messaging her on and off. She's pissed off 95% of the time now but once in a while has a fun conversation with me that I really enjoy.
I know for both of us it'd probably be better if I fucked off, but I can't bring myself to do it. I care too much about her. Believe me when I say I've talked to at least 15 different people that have all, on one level or another, told me to "get over it and find a new relationship". If it was so easy as someone telling me that I don't need it and to get over it, then I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION.
I don't know what to do, my feelings control my life more than I'd like them to sometimes. Ideally? We'd get back together and she'd finally realize how much I've changed myself to become a better person. Doubt that's going to happen. So I guess I need to get over it somehow. I don't know how.
Oh, I forgot to mention. This is a long distance deal, I've never met her in person but definitely would have if we were closer together.
I've never been good at talking to women at all, especially ones I found beautiful and wanted to ask out. I met this girl online something like a year ago on another forum, she was harassing my friend and had pissed me off in the past before so I was pretty relentless in my assholeness to her that night. I know, great way to meet, foundation of the best relationship ever. Anyway, we got to talking later that night and we actually ended up hitting it off and dating for a little while. The dating was on and off with various reasons for mini-breakups being like "You're too negative" "you're too insensitive" etc, I really did try to be a better person, and I think I was.
The problem, I'm pretty sure now, is mostly her. I think she wants to like me some days and wants me to die other days. It's become terrible at this point, I've spent almost the entire weekend in bed being depressed, messaging her on and off. She's pissed off 95% of the time now but once in a while has a fun conversation with me that I really enjoy.
I know for both of us it'd probably be better if I fucked off, but I can't bring myself to do it. I care too much about her. Believe me when I say I've talked to at least 15 different people that have all, on one level or another, told me to "get over it and find a new relationship". If it was so easy as someone telling me that I don't need it and to get over it, then I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION.
I don't know what to do, my feelings control my life more than I'd like them to sometimes. Ideally? We'd get back together and she'd finally realize how much I've changed myself to become a better person. Doubt that's going to happen. So I guess I need to get over it somehow. I don't know how.
Oh, I forgot to mention. This is a long distance deal, I've never met her in person but definitely would have if we were closer together.