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Relationship advice/opinions?

ahellofa_drug

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Messages
3
Hey there,

Im new to bluelight and this will be my first new thread I've ever started so please bare with me if I am to detailed or not detailed enough. I stumbled across this category and thought this would be a great place to get some advice or a second opinion on my relationship and how it currently stands. So, my boyfriend and I have been living together for about three years now, weve known each other for about 5. I should also add we have a child together too. Lately, I have been feeling a little bit differently about him and I am thinking about leaving. He is not helping me financially because he says he cannot work because of the current mental health problems he has. Meanwhile, were struggling badly with our finances and I cant do it myself. Am I wrong to leave him because we are struggling so bad even though the only reason he cant help is because of his mental issues. Or is it okay if I think about myself and our child and separate until we can get things sorted. (My plan is to move back in with my mother until I am financially stable). I recently lost my job so we're kind of screwed unless he helps out too...
Im lost...I love him a lot but I can't keep going on this way.... :?
 
I don't know you or your boyfriend. Having mental issues can sometimes get in the way of work and make it difficult to make it thru a day. Is he seeking help for those issues. If not I would take you child and go back home. Save your money til you can figure out other arrangements. It seems that he's in a slump and can't get out of his own way. While I'm sure you care deeply for him and want him to succeed, if he's not helping himself than don't let him drag you down with him. Best of luck on whatever you chose. This too, shall pass.
 
I would move back with your mom until you can afford to stay on your own. It's good that you have somewhere to go and your mother can help. With neither of you working now, I don't see how you can pay your rent and living expenses. What is the nature of his mental disability? These things don't get better on their own so he needs to get some help. Does he have a support system, like family who can assist?
 
When you have a child, sometimes there comes a point in your life where you have to choose one over the other. The mother should always choose her child. Be upfront and honest with your bf and tell him that you need to move back in with your mother to be able to provide a good life for your baby. Take a "break". Tell him he needs to get on some medication, better therapy, get a job, work something out while you do the same. When you guys are financially stable, you can try and work things out again. But at this point in your life, your child has to come first.
 
Is he seeking professional help because of his mental illness? What kind of mental illness does he have?

Is there any way he could at least work part time (say, 15-20 hours per week) to help out?
 
depends which country you're in

uk gives you loads of money if you are registered disabled but you need to have a pretty serious mental problem.

many people work with mental health problems. i've been manic (very fun but a bit crazy) and depressed (so shit but i kept my job) at work. some jobs dont care if you are nuts as long as you can come in and do the work.

this guy needs to get off his ass, he was strong enough to make a baby so he needs to get his strength together and start paying for it. go to your mums- it will be easier if you dont have rent to pay.
 
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