tryingnot2die
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2020
- Messages
- 1
I've been trying so hard to stay clean. So fuckin hard.
I've been clean off pills (dillys/oxys) for 2 months and 20 days and I've been clean off kratom for 29 days.
My mom died on Feb 4th (or that's when we found her- she was gone probably a week before that.)
Started drinking after mom died but it didn't work and the depression's just been getting fucking worse and worse and worse
no excuses I know but I have been so goddamn suicidal this last week I ended up getting formed (involuntary detention) and it was even more trauma on top of that.
I bought enough dillys to OD but I decided not to. I just got a little high (really small dose, can barely feel it really).
I guess I'm just wondering if I'm gonna go back into full blown WDs after this or if I'll be ok if it's just this one time (yeah I know 'just one time' is BS probably).
I tried googling it but google just keeps sending me to rehab sites. Figured y'all would know.
I'm not happy with myself but I'm happy I'm not dead. Wondering now if I should tell my partner or hide it from him or what. Eeeeeeeek.
I've been clean off pills (dillys/oxys) for 2 months and 20 days and I've been clean off kratom for 29 days.
My mom died on Feb 4th (or that's when we found her- she was gone probably a week before that.)
Started drinking after mom died but it didn't work and the depression's just been getting fucking worse and worse and worse
no excuses I know but I have been so goddamn suicidal this last week I ended up getting formed (involuntary detention) and it was even more trauma on top of that.
I bought enough dillys to OD but I decided not to. I just got a little high (really small dose, can barely feel it really).
I guess I'm just wondering if I'm gonna go back into full blown WDs after this or if I'll be ok if it's just this one time (yeah I know 'just one time' is BS probably).
I tried googling it but google just keeps sending me to rehab sites. Figured y'all would know.
I'm not happy with myself but I'm happy I'm not dead. Wondering now if I should tell my partner or hide it from him or what. Eeeeeeeek.