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Relapse after 3.5 months

R

Reciveringmyself

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 20, 2022
Messages
11
Well I fell off the wagon. I went back to NY for a wedding near my hometown and ended using 15 blues over a 4 day stretch. I was sober for 3.5 months. I’m so mad at. I’m so mad at myself. Things were going so well and I caved to the stupid little voice in my head. I felt some withdrawal effects yesterday which was basically day 1.5 and I had a bit of trouble sleeping through the night. Im hoping today isn’t bad. Does anyone know if you have a relapse do you have to go through the full withdrawal cycle again? I told myself it’s only a small amount of pills but that was so dumb. Going through even small withdrawals now reminds me why I quit in the first place.
 
So that's about 40mg per day for 4 days right? No, you won't have to go through all the withdrawal effects. When you say blues, you talking about valium 10mg yeah? or some m30 bullshit
 
Sergeant Absent said:
So that's about 40mg per day for 4 days right? No, you won't have to go through all the withdrawal effects.
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Hey. Thank you for responding. I’m scared as hell right now. I thought this all was behind me.

No they were 30s. I took 2 fri night, 2 sat night, 5.5 sun, 3.5 Mon and 2 tues morning. Does that matter?
 
Reciveringmyself said:
Yes. Blue 30s
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Sorry. I thought you were talking about valium. In the UK blues are 10mg Diazepams. And those m30's you lot got going on over there I don't know how they compare to the Sandox Oxy 40's I get here. Also I don't know how you sourced them or what they've potentially been laced with, so I can't offer any solid advice brother.
 
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Sergeant Absent said:
Sorry. I thought you were talking about valium. In the UK blues are 10mg Diazepams. And those m30's you lot going on over there I don't know how they compare to the Sandox Oxy 40's I get here. Also I don't know how you sourced them or what they've potentially been laced with, so I can't offer any solid advice brother.
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They were Oxys not fentynol. I know the guy and he gets them from a script. I snorted them.

Regardless I appreciate you responding man. Thank you.
 
From what you've said, I would expect a bit more suffering but not full on withdrawal like you went through when you got clean. But that's me guessing.
 
Sergeant Absent said:
From what you've said, I expect a bit of suffering but not full on withdrawal like you went through when you got clean. But that's me guessing.
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Alright, thank you! Appreciate the honesty. Hopefully it’ll be gone in a day or two. I just want punch abs scream at myself last week for even thinking about this. I guess it’s a good reminder but I really hate going through this. Been through so much and was on such a good path.
 
Not many people do it first time brother, it's not a failure, the fact it annoyed you is good...that means you still don't like it. Some people relapse and don't give a fuck. Some people are clean 10-20 years and relapse, there's no rule to it. Lightning strikes don't it, I wish you all the best, dust it off you'll be fine.
 
But also, generally when people are angry at a relapse, if they don't snap out of it quick it gets worse very very quickly, so bear that in mind.
 
Sergeant Absent said:
But also, generally when people are angry at a relapse, if they don't snap out of it quick it gets worse very very quickly, so bear that in mind.
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Yeh I’m very upset at myself for this. I have no way of getting more (on of the reasons I left my hometown area) but I also have had no desire to do them again until I caved to a small moment of weakness.

What do you mean they don’t snap out of it if they are angry? Kind of confused me there.
 
Reciveringmyself said:
Yeh I’m very upset at myself for this. I have no way of getting more (on of the reasons I left my hometown area) but I also have had no desire to do them again until I caved to a small moment of weakness.

What do you mean they don’t snap out of it if they are angry? Kind of confused me there.
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What I mean is, after someone's relapsed and they've stocked up on substance, whatever that may be, if that anger continues they may very quickly stop regretting it and just think "fuck this I'm all in again and give it up later" very very quickly after the relapse. Whereas if they take a moment to reflect , as you have wisely done, this snaps you out of the anger and allows you to continue with less problems than if you were back to full on using again.
 
Sergeant Absent said:
What I mean is, after someone's relapsed and they've stocked up on substance, whatever that may be, if that anger continues they may very quickly stop regretting it and just think "fuck this I'm all in again and give it up later" very very quickly after the relapse. Whereas if they take a moment to reflect , as you have wisely done, this snaps you out of the anger and allows you to continue with less problems than if you were back to full on using again.
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Ahhh okay gotcha. Yeh I can see that. I’m def angry but I’m trying to move on from it ya know. I’m angry at myself. I just despise feeling like this but I deserve to pay for my moment of weakness. I just hope it’s not that bad and My body can recover easily.
 
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