Recovering Lifes Vitality

[advocatestillness92]

I really, painfully, miss the times of my life, now years passed, when my life and heart were tangibly filled and stimulated with a certain electricity from my surroundings, events and thoughts.

Do you know what I mean? Im not quite sure if this affliction is something unique to me, or if its something everybody experiences.

But, love, contentment, comfort, satisfaction and warmth feel like they are extinct species in the ecosystem of my world. It feels like theyve been swindled from beneath me and Ive been left in a abstract void where the skeleton of life is there.... but all skin and soul are torturously omitted

I want to know how to get back there! I need you to tell me how to escape the barrages of misconceptions, suffocating inertia and deceit

I want to live, but im afraid Im already dead

 

[Shady's Fox]

Not havin money it's an issue, probably the biggest in order to fix your life. A lot of old poor dogs, I know, been one and this why i'm tellin ya this, we are in 19' cards and tricks doesn't do no more in most Southern - East countries now the flame it's in North, there you have the ones but long way till there anyway control yourself, have some knowledge over your own self and that's it. FOMO it's caused by poor or laziness with no future.

 

[FutureReference]

You are alive. Might not feel like there is life within your soul; but it is there. Your description of the old days is beautiful. As children, we know no fear or regret. We see the world as beautiful and each experience as something new; an adventure. Pillow forts, snowball fights; the simplest things brought us the most joy.

The world unfortunately shows us the ugly side as we get older and it isn't easy to process. How can I live in a place where I feel this way? Why do people treat eachother so poorly? For me, chronic pain has taken away most of my joy. But believe me; the world awaits us! You sound extremely intelligent and your descriptive manor is elegant. Write poetry and let your truth flow through the pen!

If each day seems worse than the last, possibly see a therapist as I do. An SSRI mixed with anxiety medication has helped me greatly post-military. Traumatic experience can leave a black hole and make the world feel void of joy but I promise you that is not the case! As dark as your post may have seemed to you; it brought me joy realizing I am not alone in the way I process thoughts. Reach out whenever. You are alive and I am thankful for that.