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Reassurance Required! MDMA Comedown/please don't be permanent

J

John-Anon

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
32
Hello.

Sunday 18th August this year to Friday 23rd August I was in Ibiza. On the first night I did 0.5g MDMA crystals myself. One of the best nights of my life! Avicii at Ushuaia was unreal. We drank heavily too. The next day we did probably a gram each. The next I did 5 pills + 0.5g MDMA (3 blue, 1 orange, 1 yellow, not sure of the shapes I think lovehats). The next I did 2-3 pills. The last night I did not do any because I was unable to feel anything other then the first night. Man did I wish I researched this before or I wouldn't of been chasing the high on the first night which I never obtained.

I hope this makes sense as it is hard for me to write. It has been 7 nights now since I've been back, 8 since the last dose. The lack of sleep + alcohol constantly on holiday was obviously not a good idea.

I have had panic attacks, anxiety and fear of what I have done is permanent. I keep thinking I have done brain damage. Although today I feel the best so far, I still feel "different". I feel very depressed, like life isn't worth living. I can't seem to think properly.

The thing is, I have (or had) the most solid mentality. You could drug me with alcohol/lds/weed and drop me in Epping forest in the middle of the night and I wouldn't freak out. So the fact that I have had a single very bad panic attack is crazy for me.

This post doesn't really make sense because I'm struggling to write and recall.

I'm asking if someone has had high amounts of MDMA/pills (probably shit pills as they were in Ibiza off random people in the clubs) over 4 consecutive days and how they felt and for how long. On the 3rd night I was back I felt extremely suicidal, I had to keep reassuring myself it is a chemical imbalance. I still feel brain dead + high depression but not as much brain fog as before. Atleast improving.

I am taking all the vitamins/neurozan/5htp/vitamin c etc.

I have an MRI booked on Monday out of fear I have done brain damage, and because I have always wanted to see what my brain looks like.

Please can some experienced members in here reassure me that I have not done brain damage because they have been through this.

Thank you very much for trying to understand my post. I still feel confused/different/depressed. Like I can't enjoy anything. Just zombie.
 
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I cannot comment from personal experience but I have read countless stories like yours on this forum and others. People always seem to make a recovery but sometimes it can take months and months to feel normal again, sometimes a few weeks.

you say youre already improving, which is good. Wait for somebody more knowledgeable to chime in but from my own research people like you always seem to make a full recovery from their excessive binges.
 
John-Anon said:
Hello.

Sunday 18th August this year to Friday 23rd August I was in Ibiza. On the first night I did 0.5g MDMA crystals each with me and my mate. One of the best nights of my life! Avicii at Ushuaia was unreal. We drank heavily too. The next day we did probably a gram each. The next I did 5 pills + 0.5g MDMA (3 blue, 1 orange, 1 yellow, not sure of the shapes I think lovehats). The next I did 2-3 pills. The last night I did not do any because I was unable to feel anything other then the first night. Man did I wish I researched this before or I wouldn't of been chasing the high on the first night which I never obtained.

I hope this makes sense as it is hard for me to write. It has been 7 nights now since I've been back, 8 since the last dose. The lack of sleep + alcohol constantly on holiday was obviously not a good idea.

I have had panic attacks, anxiety and fear of what I have done is permanent. I keep thinking I have done brain damage. Although today I feel the best so far, I still feel "different". I feel very depressed, like life isn't worth living. I can't seem to think properly.

The thing is, I have (or had) the most solid mentality. You could drug me with alcohol/lds/weed and drop me in Epping forest in the middle of the night and I wouldn't freak out. So the fact that I have had a single very bad panic attack is crazy for me.

This post doesn't really make sense because I'm struggling to write and recall.

I'm asking if someone has had high amounts of MDMA/pills (probably shit pills as they were in Ibiza off random people in the clubs) over 4 consecutive days and how they felt and for how long. On the 3rd night I was back I felt extremely suicidal, I had to keep reassuring myself it is a chemical imbalance. I still feel brain dead + high depression but not as much brain fog as before. Atleast improving.

I am taking all the vitamins/neurozan/5htp/vitamin c etc.

I have an MRI booked on Monday out of fear I have done brain damage, and because I have always wanted to see what my brain looks like.

Please can some experienced members in here reassure me that I have not done brain damage because they have been through this.

Thank you very much for trying to understand my post. I still feel confused/different/depressed. Like I can't enjoy anything. Just zombie.
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Hi John, first of all, welcome to BL!

None of us here can assure you that you haven't caused damage to your brain. What we can assure you is that it is temporary and you will return back to normal. You made a mistake, took too much MDMA, and now you're experiencing a comedown. This is perfectly normal and happens to many people who overdo it.

The best treatment is, like most things, time. How much time - none of us know. But i'd say you should be feeling better within a few days and then back to normal within a few weeks latest. Keep up what you're doing: the vitamins, 5-HTP, neurozan should all help speed up your recovery. I'd also recommend exercising daily for at least 1 hour and eating as healthily as possible. Spend as little time possible sitting indoors feeling sorry for yourself, that won't help.

Please keep us updated on your recovery!

Once again, welcome to BL!
 
Thank you for the welcome and optimistic response. I will never touch MDMA ever again after! I just pray I get back to normal soon so I can continue with my life/work.

If anyone has any stories of overdoing MDMA themselves over a few consecutive nights, I would love to hear them so other's and myself may find peace in your experiences.
 
John-Anon said:
Thank you for the welcome and optimistic response. I will never touch MDMA ever again after! I just pray I get back to normal soon so I can continue with my life/work.

If anyone has any stories of overdoing MDMA themselves over a few consecutive nights, I would love to hear them so other's and myself may find peace in your experiences.
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If you use the search engine, you'll find numerous stories of comedowns and recoveries. But it's important that you don't sit here all day reading horror stories - that will only make you feel worse.

Good luck!
 
Those horror stories are what triggered panic attacks and made things much, much worse for me, as I'm sure they did for other people. I'm looking for positive stories to calm and relax people going through possibly the worst time in their life.
 
John-Anon said:
Those horror stories are what triggered panic attacks and made things much, much worse for me, as I'm sure they did for other people. I'm looking for positive stories to calm and relax people going through possibly the worst time in their life.
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Hi John, To put it plainly you have done FAR to many drugs in this particular weekend/week, especially for what sounds like a somewhat inexperienced user?

Nobody but a medical professional can reliably assure you that you are 100% physical/permanent damage free. But coming from experience from similar situations/quantities i would say it is simply temporary, although it may take up to a couple of weeks to feel entirely "normal", but almost undoubtedly you will slowly begin to feel better as time progresses.

I would likely speculate that the pills and even to extent the 'crystals' were not of the highest quality and so it is possible any cutting agents could be responsible for 'unusual' comedown 'effects'.

The most important thing is to remain active, fresh air, exercise and a sensible sleeping pattern.

Good luck, keep in touch on the thread.
 
I once went through 3 grams of MD with one other person, on a debauched non-stop 3 day binge (I know how horrifically stupid that is)

I had a week of heavy anxiety, lethargy, I was melancholic (No Tuesday blues, this was all week), sleep paralysis, headaches and a general feeling I'd damaged myself. However, 2 weeks of light/moderate exercise, lots of fruit and veg (fresh), light meals rich in B-vitamins for energy, fresh air, and an occasional benzodiazepine when the anxiety became too much (I find anxiety has a positive feedback effect in these situations, so something to quell it was nice) If benzos are a no no, maybe some valerian. Fresh air, getting out into the countryside with long walks...

I was right as rein 15-18 days after the end of the binge (can't quite remember the specifics)

Good luck!
 
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It will get better, for next time seriously don't do so damn much.
You don't need to some a gram to have a good time, it's just unnecessary and gives you a fucking horrible comedown and can leave you braindead for even up to two weeks
 
Thanks for all the advice!

It is night 9 since the last dose and all that remains is some very strange lucid dreaming every night (which is super strange because I never normally dream/remember my dreams, but I can have a 4 hour long dream, wake up, and then decide to go back into that dream if I wish) and a lingering feeling of depression, which is also strange because I have never had depression before in my life. I've been strangely euphoric and happy every day of my life, a feeling I long for so much.

Has anyone ever had moderate depression 9 nights after a silly MDMA binge? Or lucid dreaming? I am a bad insomniac so I guess this could be slowing my recovery time. The only way I usually sleep is weed, but I cut that out when I got back from Ibiza.

The dreaming is very new for me and I actually like it, although I haven't had any nightmares on it (yet) which could spoil the novelty of this new sensation!

However the depression is worrying me because is still hasn't lifted yet. I still feel a little slow mentally as opposed to my quick-fire self but that could be due to the hopelessness feeling of this horrible depression state.

Although on the whole, I do feel like I am healing and improving, just slowly. And I also feel like crying randomly which is embarrassing lol. Mainly when I'm watching tv or whatever. My empathy seems to be sky high. Anyone else had these experiences?

Again, thanks for all your advice and experience. It means so much to me and other's reading this post.
 
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John-Anon said:
Although on the whole, I do feel like I am healing and improving, just slowly.
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See, it just takes time, the more you think positively the faster you'll feel better.

John-Anon said:
And I also feel like crying randomly which is embarrassing lol. Mainly when I'm watching tv or whatever. My empathy seems to be sky high. Anyone else had these experiences?
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That's quite common, I get that after a responsible MDMA session for a few days.
 
ha ha the famous post Ibiza comedown.

Yeah you'll be fine and you'll recover. It just takes time. Stop worrying about it, eat, sleep and exercise.

Nothing more to say as its has been said dozens of times before on here.
 
i was good few weeks before I fully recovered from Ibiza last year BTW. 10 nights of chaos.
 
I thought my 5 nights were madness, but 10 nights?! Kudos!

Were you mdma'ing consecutive nights? How much did you do? And how did you feel after? That's very reassuring that you have made a full recovery! There's still a little voice, although shrinking every day, that my brain and body may be permanently damaged from this binge. But I feel a great deal better reading other people's stories saying they are 100% after a few weeks. It has only been 9 nights and I do feel mostly back to normal, but not quite there yet.
 
Night 10 and now and I've woken up ill, so it's hard for me to place where my recovery is, although I feel better mentally then yesterday.

Major difficulties sleeping/slight slower reaction times and thinking speed/light depression (hard for me to enjoy things or look forward to things) remain. Definitely feel like I'm healing, just scary at the slow pace and whether or not I will reach a barrier before I heal to my normal self.
 
you will heal in time- i took over a gram of crystal mdma in a two day binge and within a month or so was back to normal i was at the time taking etizolam which i would not advise due to its addictive nature but i pretty much dodged a comedown for the most part.

all comedowns i ever had from MDMA or amphetamine in time you always return to normal. heavy amphetamine us in my experience affects you in a more negative way for much longer.

you will be fine just have patience and get lots of excercise and b vitamin complex
 
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