READ MY "X" POEM....tell me what u think

S

SupaFreek

Guest
"X"
Amidst the smoke, amidst the haze....
The music's loud and people are dazed.
Some are sippin'
Some are trippin'
Some are even candyflippin'
Some are smokin'
Some are tokin'
Some feel bad and don't want to be woken.
I'm here searching for a buddy I met....
I hear his beans are really the shit.
Where's this man I'm looking for?
There he is by the bathroom door!
I'm over there talking after a casual stroll....
A thirty-spot later and I'm ready to roll.
Open the gate and down the hatch....
Waiting on that feeling that I'll soon catch.
Time seems to pass, but not fast enought....
I hope I got hold of some incredible stuff!
Here it comes....
Should I take some Tums?
Because I feel....
Like here comes my last meal.
It now seems like it's under control....
That always happens...now I can finally roll!
Round and round and round my head goes....
I love the feeling, through my body it flows.
Wound and wound and wound up like a clock....
I'm speedy as hell....tick tock, tick tock.
I hear techno, jungle, house, and trance....
A sip of H20 and then dance, dance, dance.
Wave a glow stick here and a glow stick there....
I might look stupid but for now I don't care.
It's been a few hours and not even a yawn....
Where did the time go? It's almost dawn!
My senses are still heightened but that's not too rare....
Time to rub my back and play with my hair.
Where's that girl that came here with me?
Her nails feel so good and make me hap-py.
The sun is now up and my peak has gone down....
What once was a smile, now turns to a frown.
But man what a night, although one question remains.....
And I know the answer, no need to rattle my brain.
"Where's that feeling that I started out with?"
Ah ha, I'll just open my Vicks and take a big sniff!!!!!!
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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!!!!!!
 
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Love your poem. You should add something about waiting for the weekend to come...and I love lines like my glowsticks are fading etc. Peace keep up the awesome work
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"if man is ever to solve that problem of politics in practice he will have to approach it through the problem of the aesthetic, because it is only through beauty that man makes his way to freedom."
~Schiller
 
Wow!! That poem was the shitz!!!! Awesome!! I like it!! So true!
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If you can't change it - get over it. If you can - do!
 
Yeah, it wasn't bad. I can see where you could have made a few improvements here and there. I got a bit bored towards the end aswell...
... Only joking! That poem was the dogs bollox! I only wish I could write like that.
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HAPPY HARDCORE WILL LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<~p-E-achy~> -=+PLUR+=-
 
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