Hi, I just wanted to share with the community a terrifying and horrible trip that I have experience recently, something that has
seriously fucked me up.
I want to start with that I would consider myself a psychedellic noobie, I had only experienced two LSD trips before hand, a couple DXM
trips, and rolled on MDMA once.
To begin, the LSD I had ingested, was the same stuff I had taken two times before, it was pretty strong, and I'm guessing it's pretty pure,
I purchased it from a very reuptable vendor on the Dark Web. I had decided to try my first two tab experience (first mistake), with someone
I didn't know very well (second mistake), this person, lets call them Jeff, was a friend that I'd known a bit of, but wasn't particularly close
to me. I took the two tabs, and within about 45 minutes, was in the experience head on.
The beginning of the experience was blissful, and one of the best experiences in my entire life, I walked around my neighborhood, I listened
to amazing music, I had an overwhelming senstation of euphoria, it was amazing. I walked for a good 20 mintues, looking at houses, trees,
the landmarks of a suburban community. I finally thought it was time to head back, and that I did.
I sat outside of my apartment for about 30 minutes, I called some of my friends, laughed a lot, talked with my friend that was tripping with me,
and just enjoyed the experience. It was really amazing, looking back on it, it's really what makes me love LSD, and its why I am so conflicted
and depressed at the moment. This is around where the trip started to head southwards, beforehand, most of the information I'm gonna be saying
was told to me from my friend, I went in and out for some reason, I don't rememember most of anything after this point.
I had got agitated for some reason, I cannot remember, and stopped talking to my friends, I sat outside and started thinking I did something wrong.
I was fully in the tripped state, I forgot what was happening, what LSD was, and franitcally kept asking if I did something wrong, over and over.
I went inside my apartment, to my room, and that was it. Whatever happened in my room completly changed my state of mind.
From what I was told, after this, I started speaking in numbers, I would be asked a question by Jeff, and would reply with a number. This started
to scare him. I started going into a rage, I don't know what induced it at all, I started shouting, saying I was going to kill everyone,
I started breaking things around my apartment, throwing things, I proceeded outside comppletly nude running around shouting random lines.
It was hellish, and the worst thing is, I don't remember a damn thing, one of my other friends (sober) came over as Jeff had called for him,
and I locked him out of my apartment. Screaming and shouting at him. At this point I went to my couch, and I came down to reality for a second.
This is one of the few memories I have from the experience, I was sitting, thinking I was in a dream, as I didn't feel like I was tripping.
It seemed I had no visuals, no body high, and I felt like I was out of the LSD headspace, but this of course wasn't true. I began to think I was
in a dream state, that I had passed out somewhere and was trapped in my own mind. I began screaming and begging to go back to reality, I called
my parents, asked them if they were real, to me they sounded like robots. I was convinced, I tried calling friends, and none of them picked up,
this further convinced me I was in a dream.
I was thuroughly inside of the fortress that was the bad trip, I built myself comepltly into the mindset, and was coming to relization I was
going to die. That I would slowly fade away and die. I couldn't think of anything scarier, I thought my entire life was over. I left my apartment,
and took my car out of the complex and got on the road, the stupidest thing I've ever done. I raced around my neighborhood screaming, flipping people
passing by off, honking. I took my mirror of as I scrapped the side of a guard rail, and just drove around frantically, contemplating weather I should
plant myself into some building at 80 mph.
Thankfully, I turned around for some reason, and headed back to my apartment, as I was closer to reality than I was before, when I hadn't remembered
anything. I got out of my car and went back to my apartment, and began crying furiously, thinking I was gonig to die. The cops had been called by my
neughbors, so I was greeted by them soon after, they had caught on that I was tripping very hard, I ranted that nothing was real and that
I was stuck in a dream, that they were fake and nothing mattered. They sat me down, talked to me, and were extremly caring cops, they talked me down
from where I was, and eased me a bit out of the trip. I told them I had no more LSD, they decided to let me go, and left. This further convinced me,
once again, that I was in a dream. What cops would let a person go like me? It was obvious to me. My Dad decided to drive to my apartment to check up on me,
and to his surprise, found me crying in my mess of an apartment, broken glass, clothes scattered my surroundings. He talked to me, and calmed me down,
he was able to finally bring me out of it, I finally realized where I was, that it in fact was not a dream.
Needless to say, I was broken, I had damaged my car, scared countless people, broken many items in my home, I was a fucking idiot. He stayed there
with me as I started to come down, I finally had escaped the trip, but found myself in a new dark place.
I know I am an idiot, I am just wondering why this has happened, why I went into a complete rage trip, I was psychotic. Has this type of thing,
obviously not this level, happened to you guys? I feel horrible, I feel completly worthless. I can't do anything withough thinking about it,
I had to face my own death, and found I was completly unhappy with my life. I am saddened that more than likely I will never get to experience the
good side of Lucy again, as I think doing it again is too much of a risk to myself and the people around me.
I don't know what to really do at this point, I've had a lot of suicidal thoughts, which has never happened to me, sober before this experience,
I am a really happy person, and I felt that I was in the right mindset at the time, but I obviously was not. I can't even listen to the music
I listened to during the trip with out it making me think of those terrible thoughts.
Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment your thoughts, goodnight.
seriously fucked me up.
I want to start with that I would consider myself a psychedellic noobie, I had only experienced two LSD trips before hand, a couple DXM
trips, and rolled on MDMA once.
To begin, the LSD I had ingested, was the same stuff I had taken two times before, it was pretty strong, and I'm guessing it's pretty pure,
I purchased it from a very reuptable vendor on the Dark Web. I had decided to try my first two tab experience (first mistake), with someone
I didn't know very well (second mistake), this person, lets call them Jeff, was a friend that I'd known a bit of, but wasn't particularly close
to me. I took the two tabs, and within about 45 minutes, was in the experience head on.
The beginning of the experience was blissful, and one of the best experiences in my entire life, I walked around my neighborhood, I listened
to amazing music, I had an overwhelming senstation of euphoria, it was amazing. I walked for a good 20 mintues, looking at houses, trees,
the landmarks of a suburban community. I finally thought it was time to head back, and that I did.
I sat outside of my apartment for about 30 minutes, I called some of my friends, laughed a lot, talked with my friend that was tripping with me,
and just enjoyed the experience. It was really amazing, looking back on it, it's really what makes me love LSD, and its why I am so conflicted
and depressed at the moment. This is around where the trip started to head southwards, beforehand, most of the information I'm gonna be saying
was told to me from my friend, I went in and out for some reason, I don't rememember most of anything after this point.
I had got agitated for some reason, I cannot remember, and stopped talking to my friends, I sat outside and started thinking I did something wrong.
I was fully in the tripped state, I forgot what was happening, what LSD was, and franitcally kept asking if I did something wrong, over and over.
I went inside my apartment, to my room, and that was it. Whatever happened in my room completly changed my state of mind.
From what I was told, after this, I started speaking in numbers, I would be asked a question by Jeff, and would reply with a number. This started
to scare him. I started going into a rage, I don't know what induced it at all, I started shouting, saying I was going to kill everyone,
I started breaking things around my apartment, throwing things, I proceeded outside comppletly nude running around shouting random lines.
It was hellish, and the worst thing is, I don't remember a damn thing, one of my other friends (sober) came over as Jeff had called for him,
and I locked him out of my apartment. Screaming and shouting at him. At this point I went to my couch, and I came down to reality for a second.
This is one of the few memories I have from the experience, I was sitting, thinking I was in a dream, as I didn't feel like I was tripping.
It seemed I had no visuals, no body high, and I felt like I was out of the LSD headspace, but this of course wasn't true. I began to think I was
in a dream state, that I had passed out somewhere and was trapped in my own mind. I began screaming and begging to go back to reality, I called
my parents, asked them if they were real, to me they sounded like robots. I was convinced, I tried calling friends, and none of them picked up,
this further convinced me I was in a dream.
I was thuroughly inside of the fortress that was the bad trip, I built myself comepltly into the mindset, and was coming to relization I was
going to die. That I would slowly fade away and die. I couldn't think of anything scarier, I thought my entire life was over. I left my apartment,
and took my car out of the complex and got on the road, the stupidest thing I've ever done. I raced around my neighborhood screaming, flipping people
passing by off, honking. I took my mirror of as I scrapped the side of a guard rail, and just drove around frantically, contemplating weather I should
plant myself into some building at 80 mph.
Thankfully, I turned around for some reason, and headed back to my apartment, as I was closer to reality than I was before, when I hadn't remembered
anything. I got out of my car and went back to my apartment, and began crying furiously, thinking I was gonig to die. The cops had been called by my
neughbors, so I was greeted by them soon after, they had caught on that I was tripping very hard, I ranted that nothing was real and that
I was stuck in a dream, that they were fake and nothing mattered. They sat me down, talked to me, and were extremly caring cops, they talked me down
from where I was, and eased me a bit out of the trip. I told them I had no more LSD, they decided to let me go, and left. This further convinced me,
once again, that I was in a dream. What cops would let a person go like me? It was obvious to me. My Dad decided to drive to my apartment to check up on me,
and to his surprise, found me crying in my mess of an apartment, broken glass, clothes scattered my surroundings. He talked to me, and calmed me down,
he was able to finally bring me out of it, I finally realized where I was, that it in fact was not a dream.
Needless to say, I was broken, I had damaged my car, scared countless people, broken many items in my home, I was a fucking idiot. He stayed there
with me as I started to come down, I finally had escaped the trip, but found myself in a new dark place.
I know I am an idiot, I am just wondering why this has happened, why I went into a complete rage trip, I was psychotic. Has this type of thing,
obviously not this level, happened to you guys? I feel horrible, I feel completly worthless. I can't do anything withough thinking about it,
I had to face my own death, and found I was completly unhappy with my life. I am saddened that more than likely I will never get to experience the
good side of Lucy again, as I think doing it again is too much of a risk to myself and the people around me.
I don't know what to really do at this point, I've had a lot of suicidal thoughts, which has never happened to me, sober before this experience,
I am a really happy person, and I felt that I was in the right mindset at the time, but I obviously was not. I can't even listen to the music
I listened to during the trip with out it making me think of those terrible thoughts.
Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment your thoughts, goodnight.