Questions: Views on male vs female sexuality

[Phoenix_03]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I have a question for anyone who'd care to share. Actually 2. I've asked several people this (male and female) over time and I'm surprised by some of the answers, even from the women. If you consider yourself an accepting person, you have no problem with anyone's sexuality, etc., do you view two females together the same way as you view two males together? Everyone I asked this to has been straight and nearly all said they are accepting, all that, but they view two men together as "more unpleasant" than two females. They didn't use those words, I'm just substituting with something that is slightly less offensive. Even women have said that and I don't get it. You watch porn and see a video with a guy + a girl, one with 2 girls and one with 2 guys, and think the first 2 are fine, even like them, but the last 1 is somehow unpleasant to you?

My 2nd question is if you're accepting, have no issue with anyone's sexuality and approve of gay marriage, do your views waver at all if your child comes out to you? I can't believe it when people tell me they would not accept it or they're not sure what they would think/do. How accepting can you really be if you'd throw your own child out of your house for telling you they're gay?(That was a coworker's response)
I've thought about this a lot because my daughter has known she was gay since she was little. Hell, I knew too and her dad, I don't even know how but we had conversations long before she ever told us. Luckily, neither one of us had any issue with it, but when I asked him how he'd feel if our son came out to us he said that's different and he didn't know how he would react. I don't understand this view of men being so rigidly placed in a box where straight is "normal" and anything else is "whatever negative adjective someone wants to use." Yet, females are free to flow from men to women and back and it's "beautiful, erotic".

TL;DR - 2 questions on this topic 1) do you view a lesbian couple any differently than a gay couple? 2) if you accept everyone's sexuality/approve of gay marriage does that mean you'd be fine with your child coming out to you?

 

[burn out]

I personally don't view it any differently. I'm not accepting in the sense that I'll readily admit I wouldn't like it if I had a son and he turned out to be gay but I wouldn't like it for a daughter either so the sex of the child makes no difference to me in that regard.

Of course I wouldn't throw my child out of the house for being gay. It would be more along the lines of if I had a son who was fat. I'd much prefer to have a son who was a healthy weight and ate right but I wouldn't disown him if he didn't, as he would hopefully possess other redeeming qualities.

 

[December Flower]

It would be more along the lines of if I had a son who was fat.

Ah, this might be a problem once the Justice League arrives

What's so bad about it that you compare being gay to having a life-threatening condition such as obesity?
I thought I was homophobic, because I just can't watch two guys make out, but I rly don't give an acual fuck.

Homosexuality is something very normal within animals. For example, because some females do not return, male penguins often couple with other male penguins to raise the baby. That's why homosexuality is a thing in nature, I suppose, so when a partner dies, there's somebody else to step in who doesn't have a baby themselves. This is why a larger portion of women(over men) is bisexual, because it's programmed into their DNA. Men used to die a lot in our Stone Aged society. Honestly, it's not a disease or anything, it's just a measure by nature so that children don't have to grow up without parents.

 

[burn out]

Ah, this might be a problem once the Justice League arrives.

What's so bad about being fat that you automatically assume it is a life threatening condition? I thought I was fatphobic because I would prefer my children to not be overweight, but rly don't give an actual fuck.

Fatness is something very normal within animals. For example, walruses and seals use layers of fat to insulate themselves from the cold, store energy and increase buoyancy. Other creatures, such as bears intentionally gain weight as the winter approaches so they can hibernate through the cold months. That's why fatness is a thing in nature, I suppose, so animals can adapt to different climates and lifestyles. We see evidence of the same adaption in humans. For example, the Inuit have a higher average BMI and shorter average leg length when compared to European ethnic groups. Honestly, it's not a disease or anything, it's just a measure by nature so that animals don't have to eat quite as often and have more protection from the elements.

 

[Phoenix_03]

I personally don't view it any differently. I'm not accepting in the sense that I'll readily admit I wouldn't like it if I had a son and he turned out to be gay but I wouldn't like it for a daughter either so the sex of the child makes no difference to me in that regard.

Of course I wouldn't throw my child out of the house for being gay. It would be more along the lines of if I had a son who was fat. I'd much prefer to have a son who was a healthy weight and ate right but I wouldn't disown him if he didn't, as he would hopefully possess other redeeming qualities.

are you personally very fit, go to the gym, eat healthy etc.? Therefore, those are qualities you want to see your own child possess ?
I understand not being thrilled your child is gay, it’s going to be difficult for them just because of the world we live in. But being upset when it’s your son and fine with it when it’s your daughter is what i dont get

 

[G_Chem]

To the first question, I’ve talked about this with others too. The conclusion we made was that women are inherently more attractive than males.

As to the other question, idk but it’s very frustrating. Had this happen in my family actually... My aunt and uncle wanted to play super progressive until it was their daughter who thought she was gay, then it was a big deal.

-GC

 

[MsDiz]

It doesn’t bother me watching 2 girls get it on or 2 guys. Whatever floats your boat. It’s not really my thing but I’m not repulsed by either at all.

I personally wouldn’t care if my son was gay and there are sometimes I think maybe he could be. It does bother me that if he was gay he would be a major target in Ireland. It’s still the fucking Middle Ages here (unless you’re in Dub) and I don’t want my son having to fight to be treated equally ever. I wouldn’t be annoyed that he was gay, I’d be annoyed that he wouldn’t have it easy and I don’t think any parent would want to see their child face a future full of bigots.

 

[Gormur]

Sure. I think humans are born bisexual

 

[JessFR]

It doesn’t bother me watching 2 girls get it on or 2 guys. Whatever floats your boat. It’s not really my thing but I’m not repulsed by either at all.

This is pretty much my position too.

As for burn out's comments, I take a pretty negative view on both accounts. Being prejudice against gays is wrong, being prejudice against fat people is wrong. And suggesting either is a choice is highly problematic.

Maybe some people are fat just cause they're lazy, but I don't think it's the majority. I think it's far more genetic than anything else.

But hey bigots gonna bigot.

 

[atara]

Everyone I asked this to has been straight and nearly all said they are accepting, all that, but they view two men together as "more unpleasant" than two females. They didn't use those words, I'm just substituting with something that is slightly less offensive.

in fairness, imagining one woman, alone, is more pleasant than imagining one man, alone -- to me, of course -- nobody really thinks about naked people in the sense of the abstract beauty that might be possessed by, say, a waterfall; we think about naked/sexualized people in terms of whether we, personally, want anything to do with them.

it's not that society thinks gays are icky so much as society thinks men are ugly, i'd guess. likewise, nobody wants their kid to have a boyfriend, because everyone knows boyfriends are all terrible...

Maybe some people are fat just cause they're lazy, but I don't think it's the majority. I think it's far more genetic than anything else.

pardon my incessant bleating that obesity is caused in many cases by deliberately addictive foodstuffs that are tested on focus groups to maximize the tendency to unaware snacking. stop buying brightly colored foil-lined bags of snack food: those manufacturers are literally at war with the human mind.

 

[Phoenix_03]

It doesn’t bother me watching 2 girls get it on or 2 guys. Whatever floats your boat. It’s not really my thing but I’m not repulsed by either at all.

I personally wouldn’t care if my son was gay and there are sometimes I think maybe he could be. It does bother me that if he was gay he would be a major target in Ireland. It’s still the fucking Middle Ages here (unless you’re in Dub) and I don’t want my son having to fight to be treated equally ever. I wouldn’t be annoyed that he was gay, I’d be annoyed that he wouldn’t have it easy and I don’t think any parent would want to see their child face a future full of bigots.

Exactly, my only issue is with the pain and heartache my daughter will face because I know how cruel people can be. Her sexuality is of 0 concern to me (as far as her preferences.) It hurts my heart just thinking about her being bullied for it or worse. Nothing would change for me if it was my son instead. Why would he deserve less love and support from his mother just because he's male and gay?

 

[JessFR]

..
pardon my incessant bleating that obesity is caused in many cases by deliberately addictive foodstuffs that are tested on focus groups to maximize the tendency to unaware snacking. stop buying brightly colored foil-lined bags of snack food: those manufacturers are literally at war with the human mind.

Well yes there's probably a lot of truth to that too. But some people tend to remain thin with little if any work while for others it takes constant effort.

Basically what I'm saying is, people should worry about their own health, not other people's. They should leave their judgements at home.

 

[burn out]

This is pretty much my position too.

As for burn out's comments, I take a pretty negative view on both accounts. Being prejudice against gays is wrong, being prejudice against fat people is wrong. And suggesting either is a choice is highly problematic.

Maybe some people are fat just cause they're lazy, but I don't think it's the majority. I think it's far more genetic than anything else.

But hey bigots gonna bigot.

It sounds like you're saying parents are not allowed to have preferences regarding their kids. Just like you say it's highly problematic to suggest it's a choice to be gay or be fat, it's also highly problematic to tell other people how they are supposed to feel and what desires or preferences they are allowed to have and label them as bigots if they don't happen to line up with your sensibilities.

I didn't say I would disown my kid if he turned out to be gay or overweight, it's just that ideally I would prefer it if it wasn't the case. What's wrong with that? I think it's perfectly normal for a parent to have certain preferences for how they'd like their kids to turn out. For example, let's say a man works hard to build a farm which he then hopes to pass on to his son and grandson. Unfortunately for him, it turns out his son isn't interested in farming, doesn't want kids and instead becomes an accountant. The father still loves him and does his best to support him but he can't help but be just a little bit disappointed that his son doesn't share his love of farming. His mother also loves him but she can't help but feel a bit disappointed he doesn't want children because she really wanted grandchildren. I would argue that those are perfectly natural, normal feelings.

Now it's a different thing if your kids don't turn out how you had hoped and you disown them because of it, I understand the criticism for a parent who would do something like that. However to tell a parent they can't have preferences for whether their kids turn out gay or straight, fat or thin, beautiful or ugly, intelligent or stupid, etc is unrealistic and amounts to a denial of the parent's own inner child. People feel what they feel and want what they want, it's not something they have complete control over.

I am pretty sure the majority of parents have these kinds of preferences although they may not be willing to admit it out of fear that they will be called a bigot by someone like you.

 

[birdup.snaildown]

1) do you view a lesbian couple any differently than a gay couple?

I'm bi. Straight is the closest thing to me. Then gay. So lesbianism is the furthest away. It makes less sense to me on some level because I haven't experienced it personally... so I have to understand it from someone else's experience. But yes I view it differently. Not negatively. But men are men and women are women. A family dynamic with two FF or to MM are going to be different than one with FM, most of the time. Sometimes men are basically women in terms of how they interact anyway so it's pretty hard to say with any consistency. Same goes for men. I think from looking at the people I know there is always a distance - some distinction between a straight family and a gay family that has adopted - but it doesn't mean much to me. It's hard to write this without it being potentially offensive. It's not. I just mean there's a difference if you're straight and you adopt.

2) if you accept everyone's sexuality/approve of gay marriage does that mean you'd be fine with your child coming out to you?

I'd be fine with it but I feel like I need to have 3 kids - and I will - to try and ensure that I have some biological grandchildren which is important to me.

 

[burn out]

are you personally very fit, go to the gym, eat healthy etc.? Therefore, those are qualities you want to see your own child possess ?
I understand not being thrilled your child is gay, it’s going to be difficult for them just because of the world we live in. But being upset when it’s your son and fine with it when it’s your daughter is what i dont get

I eat healthy and am fit. I am also keenly aware of how much not practicing healthy habits can detract from your quality of life due to the damages I've experienced from unhealthy habits like heavy drug use and obviously if I had a kid I wouldn't want them to experience anything like the nightmare my life has been.

I actually don't agree that being gay is inherently more difficult than being straight "because of the world we live in". I think that depends a lot on the location and the individual as well. There's certainly no shortage of gay celebrities and gay men earn more money on average than straight men. I live in a very blue area in the USA and there are rainbow flags everywhere, organizations for gay people to join, parades, scholarships, resource centers, etc. Rather than be worried about how hard his life would be I would be thinking more about how to help him take advantage of all the opportunities it would open up for him. Victimhood is power and being gay allows you to claim membership in an oppressed class.

I'd also know I probably wouldn't have to worry about him struggling to attract women and form relationships the way I did. I grew up very shy, lonely and socially awkward and I struggled to make friends and I had no idea how to get a girlfriend. Meanwhile I had some gay friends and I couldn't help but feel envious of how easy it was for them to find dates and get sex whenever they wanted. They would show me how they could literally just log into a dating website and 20 minutes later be meeting an attractive man for sex. They also never complained about being discriminated against or anything like that, so while I don't mean to minimize the suffering of homosexuals who have experienced that, I don't necessarily think all gay people feel horribly victimized by society. They certainly had far more active social lives than I ever did.

 

[December Flower]

Ah, this might be a problem once the Justice League arrives.

What's so bad about being fat that you automatically assume it is a life threatening condition? I thought I was fatphobic because I would prefer my children to not be overweight, but rly don't give an actual fuck.

Fatness is something very normal within animals. For example, walruses and seals use layers of fat to insulate themselves from the cold, store energy and increase buoyancy. Other creatures, such as bears intentionally gain weight as the winter approaches so they can hibernate through the cold months. That's why fatness is a thing in nature, I suppose, so animals can adapt to different climates and lifestyles. We see evidence of the same adaption in humans. For example, the Inuit have a higher average BMI and shorter average leg length when compared to European ethnic groups. Honestly, it's not a disease or anything, it's just a measure by nature so that animals don't have to eat quite as often and have more protection from the elements.

Non sequitur.

I agree that fat is very useful in cold areas. A reasonable amount ofc.
Too much fat(and you did say fat, not chubby - so the assumption here is obesity, not talking of a little Winterspeck) is indeed dangerous to your body, takes MUCH MORE energy-intake per day and there's so much scientific data on it, that I'm not even bothering to post it here.
Our modern way of seeing a body as "beautiful" is ofc unhealthy and too thin

Being gay has no health-risks whatsoever.

 

[birdup.snaildown]

Being gay has no health-risks whatsoever.

That's not true.

It depends on context if you're talking about assault and it depends on all sorts of other factors in different situations. From an actuarial standpoint, everything is relevant. Specific - anal - maths understands the risks in doing perfectly normal everyday things.

 

[burn out]

Non sequitur.

I agree that fat is very useful in cold areas. A reasonable amount ofc.
Too much fat(and you did say fat, not chubby - so the assumption here is obesity, not talking of a little Winterspeck) is indeed dangerous to your body, takes MUCH MORE energy-intake per day and there's so much scientific data on it, that I'm not even bothering to post it here.
Our modern way of seeing a body as "beautiful" is ofc unhealthy and too thin

Being gay has no health-risks whatsoever.

Yet Another Study Confirms Gay Life Expectancy 20 Years Shorter - LifeSite

by LifeSiteNews.com

www.lifesitenews.com

 

[birdup.snaildown]

I work in a pretty big hospital. It's not big like a US hospital or London or something, but it's big enough. We see a lot of patients. Being gay doesn't mean you're destined to need care, obviously, but *statistically* it changes some things. If you do HIV drugs, same thing. If you are obese, same thing. These are at risk groups, or whatever they happen to call them were you live.

I exist in multiple overlapping at risk groups, which is fun for me.

Not that it's relevant to the conversation, but I've consumed nearly a 6-pack of beer in about four hours and snorted a fair chunk of etizolam. I just rolled a joint comprised of green weed (I don't like tobacco) mixed with speed - actually finely powdered ADHD medicatation, which I figure might work a bit. My cat is being a little bastard. He keeps standing at the front foor and meowing. So I try to let him in and he says "no, fuck you, I'm not coming in that smell house. You're supposed to play with him out here." but I'm going old-school with a dressing gown like The Big Lebowski. So, I can't hang out there. I live across from a primary school. It's time to smoke my Adderall joint and crack a fresh brew.

I'm getting fat again.

 

[December Flower]

Yet Another Study Confirms Gay Life Expectancy 20 Years Shorter - LifeSite

by LifeSiteNews.com

www.lifesitenews.com

And I'm sure the "experts" at lifesitenews.com work very hard for their information

I work in a pretty big hospital. It's not big like a US hospital or London or something, but it's big enough. We see a lot of patients. Being gay doesn't mean you're destined to need care, obviously, but *statistically* it changes some things. If you do HIV drugs, same thing. If you are obese, same thing. These are at risk groups, or whatever they happen to call them were you live.

But the statistics are about people who have unprotected sex, not necessarily about gay people. That's how this is often turned, because gay people have more unprotected sex(since no chance of pregnancy). But saying that just being gay is the same health risk as being obese, that makes no fucking sense at all. There are gay virgins, I'm sure