Harry Haller
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2023
- Messages
- 10
Dear members,
I’m obviously interesting in trying ecstasy but I’m quite nervous and thought it might be a good idea to check with people who’ve actually done this before.
I’m 40 years old and after a few rather negative experiences occuring simultaneously (loss of my job due to bullying by a colleague, my 17 year old cat dying and losing a friendship that was very young but was very dear to me) and while I have been able to stave off depression with daily meditation and exercise I’m losing hope I’ll ever find work in my sector again after the upteenth rejection letter.
In short I’m considering suicide (I have no interest in taking on a crappy job just to survive) but given how that might affect some close to me (including my nephews who are very young, we’re quite close) I’d rather try other things first.
A former friend of mine was quite into drugs (I’ve tried some in my youth but not in the last 1,5 decade) and he told me once that if I was ever suicidal I really ought to try MDMA. Meditation has been great in that it protected me against the horrible pain that is depression (I have had significant experience with that and it nearly killed me) but now I feel numb and unable to motivate myself to do anything really.
I want to feel alive again and find some meaning in this life that might give me the momentum and drive to go on. Does anyone have experiences with MDMA/ecstacy in this regard they want to share?
My brother procured some pills for us (good quality) and suggested we do it this Wednesday at his place. I’m not sure whether that’s a good idea given that he lives in an appartement so there can be no loud music (I used to love classic late 90's to 2010 trance) and I’m somewhat worried about becoming too emotional and oversharing (he’s my youngest brother, he has bipolar disorder and we’re very different people although we do care about each-other). Also about crashing the day after but then again something needs to be done as I can’t keep living like this. I’ve tried anti-depressants and therapy in the past and they have been detrimental to me. I would be willing to give psychotherapy with MDMA a try but that is not legal in my country.
Unfortunately I have no other people in my life I can do this with (my friends don't take drugs) so it’s either with my brother or alone. For safety reasons I’d think company is probably a good idea, no?
Any feedback would be appreciated. I hope this wasn’t too long winded. I will look around the forum for safety tips of course.
I’m obviously interesting in trying ecstasy but I’m quite nervous and thought it might be a good idea to check with people who’ve actually done this before.
I’m 40 years old and after a few rather negative experiences occuring simultaneously (loss of my job due to bullying by a colleague, my 17 year old cat dying and losing a friendship that was very young but was very dear to me) and while I have been able to stave off depression with daily meditation and exercise I’m losing hope I’ll ever find work in my sector again after the upteenth rejection letter.
In short I’m considering suicide (I have no interest in taking on a crappy job just to survive) but given how that might affect some close to me (including my nephews who are very young, we’re quite close) I’d rather try other things first.
A former friend of mine was quite into drugs (I’ve tried some in my youth but not in the last 1,5 decade) and he told me once that if I was ever suicidal I really ought to try MDMA. Meditation has been great in that it protected me against the horrible pain that is depression (I have had significant experience with that and it nearly killed me) but now I feel numb and unable to motivate myself to do anything really.
I want to feel alive again and find some meaning in this life that might give me the momentum and drive to go on. Does anyone have experiences with MDMA/ecstacy in this regard they want to share?
My brother procured some pills for us (good quality) and suggested we do it this Wednesday at his place. I’m not sure whether that’s a good idea given that he lives in an appartement so there can be no loud music (I used to love classic late 90's to 2010 trance) and I’m somewhat worried about becoming too emotional and oversharing (he’s my youngest brother, he has bipolar disorder and we’re very different people although we do care about each-other). Also about crashing the day after but then again something needs to be done as I can’t keep living like this. I’ve tried anti-depressants and therapy in the past and they have been detrimental to me. I would be willing to give psychotherapy with MDMA a try but that is not legal in my country.
Unfortunately I have no other people in my life I can do this with (my friends don't take drugs) so it’s either with my brother or alone. For safety reasons I’d think company is probably a good idea, no?
Any feedback would be appreciated. I hope this wasn’t too long winded. I will look around the forum for safety tips of course.