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Questions about homosexuality

K

Kid Amine

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 24, 2012
Messages
601
First off, i'm bi, and probably split down the middle more than average in terms of liking/relating to either sex. I came out (being bi) about 5 years ago, didnt even have feelings for men until my mid-late 20s (which seems REALLY late, but w/e). The questions I have tho are not related to women, so here goes.

1) Are most gay men bottoms? I ask because the ones i've met, along with most of the ads on sites like CL are for bottoms, or submissive acts. I have never gotten this: istm that gay men would be nearly evenly split 50/50 just like men/women are. Am I getting a skewed perspective or is this how it is (I'd guess 75% are 'bottom', and 25% top).

2) What % of gay men never or rarely engage in anal? again, istm that many/most prefer mutual j/o, oral, 69, rimming, etc, but no fucking.

3) Are gay men put off by bisexual people? if so, why?

4) wtf is with the dicksizing? I have seen and heard WAY more of this with gay men than women. e.g. "if it's not 8"+, dont even bother...". I do have hands attached to arms, so if my exactly avg dick isnt big enough for you, i could fist you.

5) probably the biggest thing that scares me is the amount of guys willing to do anon/bareback hookups. I know we are horny dudes, wanna fuck anything that moves, and anything that doesnt move, fuck it to see if you can make it move, but goddamn! I'd rather live on a desert island than have herpes on my junk or HIV. Is this shit typical?

It also seems to me there are degrees of homosexuality. If you are perfectly comfortable with your partner, you (I) would do pretty much anything they asked. am I being naive here? I know some (many) people are in the closet, and some are just finding out, but to me, if you have 2 guys naked in a room for any kind of sex, it's gay. and that's not a bad thing, but why the reservations about certain things, like a lot of body contact, kissing, or anal? To my way of thinking, taking it in the ass is way less personal than giving a bj: you dont have tastebuds or a gag reflex in your ass, yet you'll find 50 guys who'll suck your dick for every one that will take (or give) it in the ass.

Last question, sorry if this is insulting: are gay men passionate? I've been with exactly one man that was passionate, the rest, meh. Is this a fault of men, gay men, or (gasp) me? I'm not an ugly dude by any means. Is it possible my being bi has affected my relationships with gay men?

Someone PLEASE tell me that my experiences are NOT the norm. Ive very limited access to IRL gay friends to ask advice on atm.

Last question: what is with the very limited "types' people have? shaved/hairy, older/younger, fit/chub, etc. I have my preferences as well, but very few things I exclude. Seems very shallow to me.

thoughts?
 
Kid Amine said:
First off, i'm bi, and probably split down the middle more than average in terms of liking/relating to either sex. I came out (being bi) about 5 years ago, didnt even have feelings for men until my mid-late 20s (which seems REALLY late, but w/e). The questions I have tho are not related to women, so here goes.

1) Are most gay men bottoms? I ask because the ones i've met, along with most of the ads on sites like CL are for bottoms, or submissive acts. I have never gotten this: istm that gay men would be nearly evenly split 50/50 just like men/women are. Am I getting a skewed perspective or is this how it is (I'd guess 75% are 'bottom', and 25% top).

2) What % of gay men never or rarely engage in anal? again, istm that many/most prefer mutual j/o, oral, 69, rimming, etc, but no fucking.

3) Are gay men put off by bisexual people? if so, why?

4) wtf is with the dicksizing? I have seen and heard WAY more of this with gay men than women. e.g. "if it's not 8"+, dont even bother...". I do have hands attached to arms, so if my exactly avg dick isnt big enough for you, i could fist you.

5) probably the biggest thing that scares me is the amount of guys willing to do anon/bareback hookups. I know we are horny dudes, wanna fuck anything that moves, and anything that doesnt move, fuck it to see if you can make it move, but goddamn! I'd rather live on a desert island than have herpes on my junk or HIV. Is this shit typical?

It also seems to me there are degrees of homosexuality. If you are perfectly comfortable with your partner, you (I) would do pretty much anything they asked. am I being naive here? I know some (many) people are in the closet, and some are just finding out, but to me, if you have 2 guys naked in a room for any kind of sex, it's gay. and that's not a bad thing, but why the reservations about certain things, like a lot of body contact, kissing, or anal? To my way of thinking, taking it in the ass is way less personal than giving a bj: you dont have tastebuds or a gag reflex in your ass, yet you'll find 50 guys who'll suck your dick for every one that will take (or give) it in the ass.

Last question, sorry if this is insulting: are gay men passionate? I've been with exactly one man that was passionate, the rest, meh. Is this a fault of men, gay men, or (gasp) me? I'm not an ugly dude by any means. Is it possible my being bi has affected my relationships with gay men?

Someone PLEASE tell me that my experiences are NOT the norm. Ive very limited access to IRL gay friends to ask advice on atm.

Last question: what is with the very limited "types' people have? shaved/hairy, older/younger, fit/chub, etc. I have my preferences as well, but very few things I exclude. Seems very shallow to me.

thoughts?
Click to expand...
I'm not gay but I'm bisexual and I've been out for 22 years.

I'll try to answer your questions as best I can.

1. I have heard that this is true; but I would not really know? I know a fair number of men who do prefer to be a bottom or passive during anal sex, and they either want it to happen eventually during sex, or that's all they want to do during sex.

2. I am unsure of this? I have heard that oral sex is more popular among gay and bisexual men, than anal sex is. But I have no idea what percentage do other types of sex and are not into anal sex at all, what percentage only do anal sex, etc. Anal sex is not a requirement for bisexual and gay men. There are men who are not into it at all, or who are very picky about who they do it with, or when they do it.

3.Some can be biphobic and bigoted; but the majority I have met are not. The ones that are I just ignore or call them out as hypocritical bigots.

4.Men like this are obsessed with size and even a large dick at 7-8" long is not enough for them. Yes some of them do get into taking large dildos or being fisted. But these men are fine with any dick as long as it gets hard.

5.Yes it's quite disturbing. I would not say it's typical but a lot of people are into it who you would not know unless they told you. That's why it's best to just use condoms, practice safer sex, and assume that whoever you are having sex with no matter what their gender is HIV+ and has other STDs or could possibly. Even if they pull out test results, claim they're on Truvada/PrEP, claim they're HIV+ but undetectable, etc. still don't risk it. Avoid the PNP/parTy types as well.

I wouldn't say there are degrees of being gay or homosexual. Someone either is gay/homosexual, or they're not.

Some people are very picky about what they do with a partner, and some only do certain sex acts with a partner or have a partner do it to them, etc. Some people do not like anal sex or get very picky who they get it from. Oral sex can be this way as well.

Yes some can be passionate, others are not. It's all way too subjective and not really a yes or no question as there are passionate, and unpassionate people of both genders and all sexual orientations. It also has to do if both people are into each other or attracted to each other.

Some people are very specific in their type/types, and others are not. Yes some people can be shallow or are just very blunt in what they like, and do not like when it comes to their preferences. Others are living in a fantasy world or have a "perfect" person who is their type but even if they found that person they would find something about them to reject them.

If you're encountering gay men in bars, dance clubs, sex clubs, adult bookstores, or on sites like Craigslist or other sites a lot of those places and sites are all about sex only or looking for a hook up, so that's why you're encountering people like this.

Good luck, feel free to post more questions you have.
 
I'm not an expert in this area, hope you but don't mind saying what I do know - since there are few responses.

2) At a sexuality related class, the instructor said that with his boyfriend of 20+ years, they never did anal with each other. It did have something to do with the gender-neutral class. For which I assumed that all gay men did anal until this. I would gather the % is higher for women. About 40% of the women I've been with were pro-anal sex.

3) Yes, I heard that many gay men and women don't like bisexuals. Look up funny videos about that on you tube. Imagine this, a straight man looses his wife to another woman, hurts the ego. So flip it around, its kind of the same thing but also that their SO would be checking out both sexes. Or that bisexuals have more sex, etc.

4) Love your statement!

5) And then there are groups of men that want to get HIV, so they don't have to worry about it OR so they can get some benefits.

There are different types of homosexuals. The ones that are obvious (girly man and manly woman) to drag queens to flamers to not-sure to he can't be gay. I recently meet a gay couple at a party with the wife. They are both 22yrs old and have been together for 2 years, plan to marry etc. I couldn't tell they were gay, they act like any other young men. Other than knowing they were together all the other conversations were non-sex oriented related. Drinking, movies, weather, drinking, jokes, etc. This should also be part of you next question about relationships. Yes, gay people do fall in love, they are human like anyone else, right? Afterall, guys also fall in love with women, not just the pussy. But from what I gather from the clubs and articles - gay men are like MEN - FUCK first, kiss later. And I've had my share of easy booty calls or one-night stands. I've had sex with women the night I meet them, sometimes within minutes in a toilet stall or parking lot. Say the right thing and her panties get wet.

When I go to dance clubs, it was to meet women and friends. 50/50 I'll get laid that night. If doing CL or grinder - then its usually about the sex. But that is also how some relationships start.
My wife was a much younger cute little 25yr old I meet ordering a drink. I bought her a drink with the goals of hopefully tapping that ass. We got turned on by each other and had sex within an hour or so at my place after meeting, then we started dating, feel in love, the wedding and baby. I had no long-term future plans when I first stuck my hand in her panties.

I did ask a gay friend many years ago about the bi thing. It may stress them out, the fact that you want sex with women too. The idea of pussy is nasty as a cock is to a full blown lesbian. Its stupid in my book. I think anyone can be passionate when they find the right person. I think you should be able to ask your friends about it as well.

Empty lovely sex is fun and all, but its great to have someone in your life who is with you, who values you as a human being with feelings.
 
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1) Are most gay men bottoms?
I don't think so, from what I've witnessed most are neutral with a seemingly 50/50 for subs/doms.

2) What % of gay men never or rarely engage in anal?
I'm not really sure about this one.

3) Are gay men put off by bisexual people?
I think in general non-bi people are skeptical of us. We have statistically 50% more chance of becoming seduced by someone else (I guess?)

4) wtf is with the dicksizing?
Are you basing this off of personal adds on CL? I've not really experienced instances where a gay man will admit to refusing anything but a horses dick.

5) probably the biggest thing that scares me is the amount of guys willing to do anon/bareback hookups.
This might be community based.. But I too am a little off put by STDs within gay men. Especially since I plan on exploring my sexuality more in the future (I've been out of the closet for 6 or 7 years but I have very limited sexual experience with men OR women since I've been in a relationship for the last 7 years.. We just broke up)

It also seems to me there are degrees of homosexuality.
Indeed. For some, homosexuality is a rather large umbrella term when it comes to the expressions that follow the gay community. There are so many different types of sexuality and terminologies for various acts and lifestyles. Some are more reserved and keep it mostly to themselves but for others it is largely satisfying to them to voyeur and flaunt their lifestyle for all to see.
Same goes for bisexuality for that matter.

are gay men passionate?
Yes, I don't see why they couldn't be. I've been sweet talked by men and sometimes it can make me swoon. It's not exactly an example of pure SEXUAL passion, but I imagine that the following acts could be much the same.
I've also met men who just charge in head on, no romance no passion, just pure lust. It depends on who you meet.

Last question: what is with the very limited "types' people have?
I can't honestly say for purely homosexual people as a whole (I think it just depends on the individual) but personally I am petty picky when it comes to the men I find attractive! I prefer fit, no fat, not too lean, not too muscular. Not picky on hairstyle but I don't like balding. Minimal body hair, preferably clean shaven but I like some styles of (short) beard. I like both feminine and masculine builds but I am more prone to femininity even though I am mostly submissive and feminine myself. Good hygiene is essential.
I don't know if that's shallow or not.. maybe, but I know what I am attracted to and fat, hairy, sweaty, neck-bearded men are not my thing :p
Further more I just find myself admiring the physique of men less often than women.
 
thanks all for the replies, they have been very informative and helpful. and yes ChipTrippy fox, based off of CL, which has the gambit of "FUCK ME" type posts of one line of txt sp34k, to detailed LTR looking posts.

I was going to ask about the really effeminate/flamer types, but i recall asking two gay friends back in 08 the same question: they didnt get it either. haha. Im much less picky with men than women on body types, tho i am incredibly picky when it comes to the mind: if you arent confident, intelligent, creative, spontaneous, and funny, you have no hope no matter what you look like. I need a mental equal or superior; having sex with someone well below me mentally is about as appetizing a thought as fucking an animal -bonerkiller.
 
Kid Amine said:
damn, no replies in 9 hours?
Click to expand...
I'm new here, but have been posting on forums longer than I can remember and moderated a couple of sites. A commonality amongst all of them are getting responses to long posts. You'll notice that those long ass chain threads almost always start with a controversial subject, followed by a single statement. Flame on man. The long posts get a lot of views, and few replies, but the people that do reply are almost always putting in full effort having took the time to read it all. Anywho. On to your post.

1. Most gay men I have known are versatile, though they have a preference. That's been my issue because even though they are willing to be the top, they still want to get me to ejaculate. I feel bad because I know what it's like to want nothing more than a delicious full load dropped right into your mouth and my mind just doesn't work that way for them. I wish I could be versatile too, but I a total power bottom.

2. No idea

3. I'm bi not gay so I can't answer for them. But I haven't had a whole lot of trouble attracting gay men. In fact, I don't think I've ever been with a bisexual man.

4. Hahahaha! I'm sorry, but I'm guilty. I love nothing more than a huge dick filling me up.. I think the difference between men and women is that more of us will admit to it. That doesn't mean I can't get off on just about any cock (my warm up toy is really small and does the trick every time).

5. Oh, it's common for both men and women. The giver has less to worry about than the receiver for one thing, but I think men in general are more likely to engage in unprotected sex. No excuse of course. Gotta strap it.

It also seems to me there are degrees of homosexuality. If you are perfectly comfortable with your partner, you (I) would do pretty much anything they asked. am I being naive here? I know some (many) people are in the closet, and some are just finding out, but to me, if you have 2 guys naked in a room for any kind of sex, it's gay. and that's not a bad thing, but why the reservations about certain things, like a lot of body contact, kissing, or anal? To my way of thinking, taking it in the ass is way less personal than giving a bj: you dont have tastebuds or a gag reflex in your ass, yet you'll find 50 guys who'll suck your dick for every one that will take (or give) it in the ass.
Click to expand...
I've never had an issue being close an intimate with my male partner. I become very effeminate when I am with a man, and I want to be kissed, and caressed, dominated and told what to do. But I also like to cuddle as well, so I can't really answer to that. There are times though where I just want his dick, his load, and that's it. And not willing to fuck my ass is a deal breaker. I am all good with sucking cock if that's what he wants, but I need to be penetrated. It's all I think about when it's throbbing and hard and so ready to blow.

I think I answered your question about the passion lol

Again, not gay and I believe bi guys are even more particular with their tastes. I know I am. We can't really help what we are and are not attracted to.
 
Well, didn't read all the queuestions but not all gay men are bottoms...this question bugs me alot when people ask soooo who was the top or the versitle...there are some men who will only fuck and some who will will only be fucked and some who do not like anal at all. It just seems to really confuse straight people, like, "how do you guys decides who's gonna fuck who." Depends on the mood. Sorry, would answer the others but if I type long post on here then it will not let me post them, I wish bluelight would get that fixed...it's annoying as hell when you write a long meaningful pot then it want let you post it! Anyone else have this problem...and me I love to botttom but sometimes I just wanna bend the guy over and fuck his brains out also, I am a man of course, I do like to stick my dick in things, like tight holes, watchin it go in and out, hearing them moan....not all gay guys are bottoms, in most relationships its usually 50/50, we are men, gay men so we do like to be penatrated(some)but we also like to fuck...
 
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