Question about child visitation

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Babycakes2

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May 12, 2009
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Hi I'm new here but I have a question that maybe someone can help me with. I have a 14 almost 15 year old daughter. Her father has not been around. I always have kept the visitation open with her father. Since she was 3 she would go to her grandmother's house (his mother) every other weekend. About 2 years ago the state finally caught up with him. He never pays his child support on time. Which I never got it before so I don't count on it. But she has been going there for a week & with me for a week. Yesterday I got served with papers, he is trying to take me to court to stop his support & take my daughter away! Does any one know if this can really happen? Considering the past 15 years? He wants me to pay child support! I receive 261.00 a month. And last Thanksgiving he grabbed her by the back of her head by her hair & dragged her down his mother's hallway, threw her on the floor & punched her in the head a couple of times. I picked her up right away & he left his mothers house before my husband & I got there. I called the police but they basically said she wasn't bleeding so it was like a he said she said! I made a report & DCF came & did a report on it. She didn't go over there for a few months. She didn't want to go but they also told her she wasn't allowed b/c of what happened! I still told her to at lease call & tell them what was going on! I always kept communication open with him & always let him know what was going on in her life. With school & her health. After we went to court he told my daughter I don't have to talk to ur mom ever again thats why we have court papers. He calls me to tell me I'm a bitch & yell at me. I was just wondering if he can do this!!??
 
As her father, he has the right to file, just to probably stop support for a while. However, with his past behavior and non involvment there is no court that would award him custody of a child he has not raised as long as ur alive.
 
He can file for custody. The court will examine the issue with an eye towards the best interests of the child.
 
Have you and the father ever been married? Have you ever filed a parenting plan with the Court, or has custody or visitation ever been determined by the Court?. Did the Fla. Dept. of Revenue file a Petition to Establish Child Support and/or Other Relief?
 
forgotten said:
Have you and the father ever been married? Have you ever filed a parenting plan with the Court, or has custody or visitation ever been determined by the Court?. Did the Fla. Dept. of Revenue file a Petition to Establish Child Support and/or Other Relief?
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We have not been married. When she was 3 he ordered a DNA test. It came back 99.999% then he was ordered to have insurance. He hasn't done that in 13 yrs. The payments do go the the FL Dept. of Revenue & he is suppose to pay child support. The order went he had every other weekend & on the other week she went on Thurs. night. The state has taken away his driver license. And I have done everything through the court. But he hasn't held a job since high school, deals drugs & my daughter was going there to do some soul searching. And I understood that. But I just don't see how in 15 yrs he in now trying to take my daughter.
 
Heuristic said:
He can file for custody. The court will examine the issue with an eye towards the best interests of the child.
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But what if she doesn't want to? My daughter has been so upset. She knows the only reason he is doing this is b/c he doesn't want to pay child support. But I should go & get the police record right? I should also get the DCF investigation report? I don't know who to call to get that but I will find out. He doesn't have the money to pay child support but has the money for a lawyer? Will the judge see that too? Thank u.
 
Okay. You should have an attorney. There are often organizations that will help women in your situation obtain an attorney, free of cost. Certainly obtaining the records of past abuse, etc., would be helpful.

I agree that, based on what you've said, you're very unlikely to lose custody. The wishes of the child are of course a relevant factor to be considered by the court.

I would urge you, however, to be careful NOT to allow your daughter to become an instrument in a battle between you and your ex. To the extent possible, isolate her from the conflict.

After retaining your attorney, I imagine that an attempt will be made to reach out to your ex, and work things out amicably. I suspect he will be amenable to this, once the facts are explained to him.

Hang in there.
 
Some states allow the child to choose which parent they want to live with at around 13, but it depends on the state. The older the child is, the more likely a judge will be more likely to listen to the child.
 
If you can't afford an attorney, you should try legal aid. They might be willing to help you, given that you are a single mother.

The Court will appoint a Child Custody Evaluator, to determine what is in the best interest of the child. The evaluator will make a determination as to what is in the best interest of the child. Before or after that, you and the father may be ordered to attend a mediation session during which time a certified mediator will attempt to help the two of you work out an arrangement that is satisfactory to both parties. If the two of you can't work something out, a hearing will be held in order to determine who should have sole custody.

The fact that the child has been living with you for so long will work in your favor. The Court will be reluctant to take a child out of a stable environment.

The fact that the father is behind on his child support will work against him. It's going to be hard for him to prove that he can provide a stable environment for the child if he can't even provide basic support.

If he has any sort of criminal record, that can work against him as well.

In order to get records from DCF, you may have to issue a Subpoena for Production from Non-Party. You can find the form here: http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/931ab.pdf. You have to send the notice to the other party (the father) and in 10 days the clerk will issue a subpoena. If you tell me what county you are in, I will provide you with some contact numbers.
 
forgotten said:
If you can't afford an attorney, you should try legal aid. They might be willing to help you, given that you are a single mother.

The Court will appoint a Child Custody Evaluator, to determine what is in the best interest of the child. The evaluator will make a determination as to what is in the best interest of the child. Before or after that, you and the father may be ordered to attend a mediation session during which time a certified mediator will attempt to help the two of you work out an arrangement that is satisfactory to both parties. If the two of you can't work something out, a hearing will be held in order to determine who should have sole custody.

The fact that the child has been living with you for so long will work in your favor. The Court will be reluctant to take a child out of a stable environment.

The fact that the father is behind on his child support will work against him. It's going to be hard for him to prove that he can provide a stable environment for the child if he can't even provide basic support.

If he has any sort of criminal record, that can work against him as well.

In order to get records from DCF, you may have to issue a Subpoena for Production from Non-Party. You can find the form here: http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/931ab.pdf. You have to send the notice to the other party (the father) and in 10 days the clerk will issue a subpoena. If you tell me what county you are in, I will provide you with some contact numbers.
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I live in Palm Beach County. Thank you everybody for ur posts! It has helped me a lot. and yes I agree not to get my daughter involved, only when she asks questions. And I never bad mother her father even though she said he has to her. I just ask do u believe it? She says no, & I tell her that is all I care about! But much thanks to every1. And please if any1 can think of anything else I check here everyday!:)
 
you cannot and should not let your daughter be in the presence of her father unattended if he has physically abused her in the past. as a parent, it is your obligation to make sure your child is out of harm's way and if you allow him to see her, the judge will see YOU as an unfit parent for allowing your child to be placed in danger.

as for child support payments, i don't think any judge in the right mind would allow this guy to stop paying, especially since he's been skipping payments. i'm not sure how child support works, really, but i think it is automatically deducted from his paychecks if he's working and you should be receiving checks from the gov't. make sure you bring all evidence associated with the case (child support pay stubs, police reports, custody hearings, proof that he is the father, etc) to court when you go, this will help back up anything you tell the judge.

your daughter is 15 y/o and in the court's eyes she is old enough to be cognizant of her decisions so the court will more than likely weigh what she wants as well. the courts don't normally remove a child from the home unless there is a clear and present danger, they like to maintain the status quo and since she has been living with you for the past 15 years, they aren't going to allow some dickhead that has missed child support payments to just show up and take her away. i don't think you have anything to worry about :)

good luck
 
Clerk of the Court Family Division - (561) 355-6511 (call them if you have anyquestions about filing pleadings, or setting court dates)

Palm Beach Legal Aid Society - (561) 655-8944 - this is the agency that would provide you with free legal representation if you qualify.

I'll give you some more information when I get home from the office.
 
Thank everybody so much! And Forgotten thank u ssooo much!!!Do u know where I could get the report DCF did? Should I just call DCF? Probably huh!? This just has me so upset! I feel like I can't think strait! He wants me to pay him child support and now his court & lawyer fees!!!!
 
DCF may release the report to you since it pertains to your child; give them a call. If they won't release it to you, you can subpoena the report as I have outlined above.
 
Babycakes2 said:
Thank everybody so much! And Forgotten thank u ssooo much!!!Do u know where I could get the report DCF did? Should I just call DCF? Probably huh!? This just has me so upset! I feel like I can't think strait! He wants me to pay him child support and now his court & lawyer fees!!!!
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Please try to relax. As others have mentioned, there isn't really any basis for a court to award him child support.

From what I've gathered in your posts so far, it's likely that you will be considered both to have primary physical custody and be your daughter's primary caretaker. Therefore, any support awards would be paid to you.

Second, the chances are close to zero that a court would order you to pay his legal costs--you are each responsible for your own legal fees and you have to understand that he is just blowing smoke out his ass at you. It would probably be best to handle things from now on through a legal representative so he won't get you upset with his threats and fabrications.
 
ok. trust me. i am going through the same problem. Evidence that can not be physically proven does not count. You can order a drug test of the minor if this is not an estabilshment of parentship. obviously not. So you can go to the next move. You are established as one of the parents. So you probably already have a lawyer. Contact DCFS as to have any proof of any kind of physical negligence. They will give you all medical records as LONG AS YOU ARE RECOGNIZIED AS THE FATHER OR MOTHER! must stand in court. Well, anyway, all you can do is to have your lawyer set a court hearing on whatever matter you feel is appropriate. shit, this is not worth almost talking about because without a family lawyer , you are left without crap. DO NOT REPRESENT YOURSELF!
 
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