I know man.
@ThreeDice456 It's pretty hard, but you've done it before so you know you're capable of doing it again. Do the safest thing and just repeat what worked last time. It sounds like you have it in hand. If you need to chat, feel free to hit me up. I've spent too many hours of my life watching the clock waiting for phones to turn on or checks to clear. I know the game well and the memories are so vivid it's as if it was yesterday. It can be done. I know how it feels when you decide to go another direction. You've got all your junkie friends waiting (hoping) for you to fail, as it makes them feel better about their situation. You have the people who have been sober for 10 years and they seem like they're a different race or species, You have to exist in a completely unfamiliar world, without your old buddy dope to get your through long enough to develop some pride. That doesn't take long. You'll have some by the time you get to 48 hours and if there's nobody in your life to tell you you're amazing,
@Keif' Richards from Bluelight is sitting here in his little office praying for you to succeed.
Prepare for corn:
The greatest Opiate I have in my life is seeing people break free and knowing that they're living life. We are all connected in this world. Our actions reverberate in ways that we could never hope to understand. As addicts, we tend to believe our actions are unseen, personal and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. I don't know who or what God is, but I sure as hell feel a tingling in my soul when people tell me they got their kids back or more so, that they're happy. It's a feeling that doesn't come with any strings attached.
I believe you can do it.