Great first post.
Opiates are really insidious, Zacord - as i'm sure you are well aware. You've already had a very close brush with death - i never had that in ~10 years of having a habit, yet i still had plenty of experiences that made me realise the "bliss" (if you can really call it that) really isn't worth it.
If one thing is definitely going to jeopardise a career in medicine, it is surely a dope habit.
No amount of lectures or prompting from people online are going to shift your thinking on this matter, but i just hope you are able to get past the mindset that heroin is something you can fuck with and not end up losing your autonomy.
The first thing that happens is you become psychologically hooked and start making excuses to yourself as to why it is ok to use.
Even it you use sporadically for years, it catches up to a lot - if not most people.
Contrary to what a lot of people seem to think, physical dependance happens pretty slowly.
But by the time you reach that point, you're in way over your head.
And even if you manage to kick a physical dependance, the psychological shit can go on for months or years afterwards.
People become hopelessly addicted for a reason, it's not just hype...
Just my 2c. Take care.
Ill take your pennies tyvm. I know what your talking about though, Like i said in one of my replies. I had a friend that was addicted for many years, He wasn't just physiologically addicted he was physically addicted as well. He won't ever be able to kick the habit, I doubt he ever will find the will power. I will never get to that stage, I've seen how he acted when he didn't have it.. its not pretty at all. He did anything to get me to get him boi.... He's the type of person to steal your wallet and help you look for it. It took me a long time to figure out he really wasn't a good person, H changes you...You do anything to get your hand on a bag... Even steal from someone you consider a "brother".
I don't have a reason to be addicted, I was having physiological stuff going on but, I fixed it. And for me to be phyiscally addicted to something takes a long time, I remember trying to get off wax (weed) it was pretty hard as i got used to going to work, hitting my pen, and doing it every hour thereafter. That was after months of smoking wax everyday. Eventually what happened sucked balls. I'll tell you how i quit smoking wax from my pen.
One morning I woke up, threw my sheets off, Jumped out of bed, Put some clothes on, fumbled to the kitchen to eat some breakfast. Got to the kitchen and asked myself... "What is there to eat? I don't see any food, This place looks like it's been empty for weeks.." -Looks in the fridge and see's a bright light- "Ohhhhhhh look at what we have here..... Eggs, Bacon, Cheese, Even some bagels Fuck yeah". Cooked everything in 15 minutes, Eggs looked like a yellow pancake with melted cheese on top, Bacon was nice n crispy, and toasty bagel on the side. Add'd some organic honey on top of my eggs for energy. Ate it all faster than a hotdog eating champion. Took a banana, water, keys, wallet, phone, and headed out! Got to my car went to the drivers side door... tried the key... didn't work. Than I remembered "oh shit, thats right i broke the key lock for this side, I need to go to the other side and unlock it from there" I fumbled to the otherside n unlocked it. Got in my car... made it vrooommmm, and off i go. Started eating the banana, took a few puffs off my pen, finished the banana.. Threw it out the window... kept driving. Couldn't find my pen anywhere and noticed before when i threw the banana out the window I heard a "crash" So, Till this day I can only assume that my pen was thrown out with the banana. I came back several hours later and couldn't find it. Some lucky guy came by saw it picked it up n started hitting it, It was full of wax. I'm cheap, Not gonna go online n spend another 80$ for a pen. It pained me so to stopped smoking but, at that point i had no choice.
Every single day thereafter was boring as all can be. Work was beyond boring... Staring at a screen pressing enter and putting a label on a stupid box. It pissed me off so goddamn much. I'm glad they let me go from that job, Afterwards I realized I needed more education so now just going back to school for mechanics. I'm gonna be the guy fixing your car, and trying to help you out with your nutrition/ asking you what pills you take to help your health out. I'm not a doctor formally, Don't have the license to be one, Too many years and money spent for that kind of shit. But, Doesn't mean i don't have some knowledge about pharmacy and how the body works, Every pill period, Is made for you to take for long periods of time. Than after that you have to ween off of it and probably need another pill to help you do so, It makes me sick thinking about that kind of stuff. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed my little story, Have a good day! Much love.