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(Psycho) Analyze This

Atomic_Decay

Atomic_Decay

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 1, 2021
Messages
1,221
Anybody who’s followed the muti-stage confessional beginning over 10,000 posts ago is invited to give their opinion on what the fuck, actually.
 
Not too sure what the point of this thread is...
 
A very familiar-looking fella offered me chemsex and hookers in exchange for unlocking this thread.

In can be very hard to remember times long ago, but I could’ve sworn that I’ve met him before.

Anyone else believe in reincarnation?
 
arrall said:
A very familiar-looking fella offered me chemsex and hookers in exchange for unlocking this thread.

In can be very hard to remember times long ago, but I could’ve sworn that I’ve met him before.

Anyone else believe in reincarnation?
Click to expand...
No. Don't be ridiculous. I believe in Second Life. Where I e-transfer funds to psychic counselors for grieving widow avatars in my real life dress. I throw backmy cape as I cant get dressed to escape this lifeless marriage for the life of me! Waah!:poop:

This is a serious probem @Atomic_Decay . Let me spin my magic crystal ball. Would you piece pass me that bowl - please? For all this crystal I've spun, I'm wary to spin out and have shattered shards all over my modular woodgrain tile floors..

(I promise I'm actually going to respond seriously in a bit. Just going out for a cigarette)
 
Okay. I've come to know you fairly well. So here is my assessment @Atomic_Decay

This is going to be the fly a lot of it. I've never sat down and truly thought a ton to your total character in any psychoanalysis. Usually I just think about you as being a really nice guy to me all the way from the other side of the Earth. I wonder if you'll actually come and meet me some time.. you've been a strong male figure in my life for quite awhile. I look up to you. I've had some feelings a little stronger at points otherwise. Honestly. IYou're pretty cool, I'm like a train wreck stupid kid in comparion.

I just got a phone call so more coming soon...
 
Well,reincarnation is the thing,which put on it's place explain a lot of things.I really do believe,that this conception was in the teachings of early christians too.Now they talk about immortality of the soul and a Kingdome of God,but only,when i put the idea of reincarnation all this form some sort of realness.So...yes I think,that there are reincarnation,whatever means that.
 
I'm back on. I've been wandering around circling this lot like a vulture, I am a hawk, so it''s perfectly normal. I am a hawk. Yes I am.

Anyway. I'm going to actually run a chart here. I need practice on this style of planning and organization so I'm going to make a short project of this. You asked me in a pretty unreal way to really take a look into you. So I will. I appreciate you opening up to me so much, It makes me feel better about a lot of stuff when I'm able to talk to people.

I met you a couple years ago in an outside scenario from this one about two years ago. Just under. What I know about you is that you're very professional in your field in academics and you're working toward your masters (not your first) or PHd in something I can't recall. I don't know if I've ever asked. You've written quite a lot of published material and you've been something akin to a professor. A lot of your life is shrouded in a mystery which you keep up. You are very tech savvy and you know how to protect your personal life and identity from the ravages of this double life which you lead in drug use and I'd say a sex addiction with which you have been with many ex workers and also in a lot of situations like groups and some kink and things like that,

You're very sexually liberated and you're very emphatic to the wants and needs of these workers. That's actually really refreshing to see here. Bluelight is literally the biggest research portal on the internet toward things llke drug,s drug use, people who use drugs, statistics gathering for the social movements toward decrim and harm reduction which is what we promote.In harm reduction, sex workers are some of our biggest advocates, most in need, and their agencies which support them are huge in the field I really commend you for this. I think there's a lack of knowledge, or education in providing some resources and information in this very forum which is actually essential to harm reduction as a whole.

That total package would breed more advocates like you and I, and the many who are (or were) here. This is an amazing site but it has some holes in its presentation and fabric in cutting this cloth to wear the badge we do, Many of the biggest people in drug policy all the way to hardcore critical criminology know Bluelight and who Monica Barratt is. You sir, are one of the greatest proponents for harm reduction on this site. Particularly for methamphetamines and then empathogens and psychedelics like MDMA and LSD. We were once a really strong duo on the meth using side of the board.

At one point, you actually used to come to me asking questions about crystal meth because I had become, and was becoming more and more expert in the subject. You've always (obviously) had a strong academic edge over me in your background. You have more of the finances and know-how, all the way to the patience to do things like become expert in acetone washes and procedures toward this harm reduction effort. I've seen your accounts in other networks outide this site, I use the same networks sometimes as an infrequent reader and rare participant. You're around. You're a voice in one of the biggest social spheres in harm reduction. Clear and dark. I think that's really cool. You're amazing, actually.

I wish that there was a way for you to just take this head on as your passion and aspiration to career level goals in this work like I did last year. It is possible, and it's really fulfilling and amazing work. I don't know why you're so worried for being caught doing this or being your own self as someone who does use these drugs, In some other areas of your workplaces you'd be a really good fit into the research end of things. In regular publications, which you can be a globe trotter doing this a remote work.. you are really good with people.

You have been really good with me, man. I love you too. Why don't we work on something together? I need help. I could really use yours.. sorry this isn't supposed to be about this. But that's what i think. We'd be an awesome team on some meth-related harm redux work and research. I'm an analyst on national standards for AUD in alcohol withdrawal treatment in Canada now. You know a good chunk of the successes I've had, so.. I'd like it if we did something together.

You've always had a lot of concern for me and for my life. I've been up and down and all over into some really extreme situations to scenario that are just abolutely bizarre. But that's my life. My mental health isn't great. Some periods are much better than others. Regardless, you've just about always been there if I've ever needed to reach out and you've actually helped stable me a bit. When I think of this site I usually think about the friends I've made here, and what so many different events I've caused or experienced in my time here have resulted. I grew up a bit and I found my career path.

I hit my 30s in a total mess of a life and heartbroken, but some amazing things happened here, Getting into contact with a couple different agencies in my line of work, and becoming the BL media guy all at once - along with discovering how huge this site actually is and taking the opportunities I could and did as I networked through that? That changed my life forever. I know some people came to resent that, but I was doing what I was told to do in networking and plugging Bluelight wherever I could as I was Social Media and Communications. That was my title. I'm actually pretty damn good at it! The greatest marker of let down I experienced doing that was this constance where I always felt too much on my own. I needed a team.

My life fell apart and I couldn't handle myself anymore. I totally blew a serious meeting with a Health Canada funded group and @Tronica which led to an even bigger meltdown and then my phone was stolen. My life went black for awhile. I got bits and pieces of what the damage was, while in my actual life I had no control over anything anymore. It was so fucked and I'm not going to run you through it all right now.

I can tell you that I thought of this place a lot though, I was really broken up. I've poured my heart and soul into this site and I was ex-bluelighter. I still have daage to fix with a FB account and I cent get in without an ID card which I still dont have because I'm poor, no car and I don't drive anyway.. I am unable to transport to the city with the nearest Service Ontario office quickly. I was supposed to go on Wednesday but the person who I was told would be driving me and a friend over decided not to show because my towns too far out of the way for his schedule that day. I don't know what to do. I used to be staff here and I was so proud of that!

I did think of you sometimes. I wrote out on a piece of paper descriptions of everyone I had considered to be my good friends here, You were on it. When I think about people here, I think about you quite a bit. I thought about how you said you visit a state just several hours south of me I think jusst about yearly, and I'd run through scenarios I'd dream up in my head as to how that'd go. Usually it's a pretty good daydream. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll be just as alienated as I think I am. I really wish that we'll get along well if that happens though. I've always wanted to meet someone on here in person..

I've been going on and on about myself more than you here. The point is. Regardless of your issues in leading this double life and having some insecurities to this extreme level of promiscuity you represent so well here. I don't consider you to be an unstable person really. Not nearly as much as the ashamed 'sounding' kinds of messages you've sent me when you've binged too hard. Or you've relapsed. We both know the statistics and where we are at. I just used last night and today after around 10 days off of meth. I refuse to feel ashamed like I used to about it. It's just a roll into the next lapse of sobriety from crystal meth in which I'll eventually fall into that permanence as either in life. Or death. Someday I won;t have to use again. I wont feel that I have to do something which I know for a fact has been so fucking destrucive to my life and my ego. I've got some soul left inside that's hurting pretty badly. I think you are too, It's actually alright to be this way. There's no alternative or an actually to be defining sober date until we die. You know that.

You're one of my best friends.
 
Joey said:
I'm back on. I've been wandering around circling this lot like a vulture, I am a hawk, so it''s perfectly normal. I am a hawk. Yes I am.

Anyway. I'm going to actually run a chart here. I need practice on this style of planning and organization so I'm going to make a short project of this. You asked me in a pretty unreal way to really take a look into you. So I will. I appreciate you opening up to me so much, It makes me feel better about a lot of stuff when I'm able to talk to people.

I met you a couple years ago in an outside scenario from this one about two years ago. Just under. What I know about you is that you're very professional in your field in academics and you're working toward your masters (not your first) or PHd in something I can't recall. I don't know if I've ever asked. You've written quite a lot of published material and you've been something akin to a professor. A lot of your life is shrouded in a mystery which you keep up. You are very tech savvy and you know how to protect your personal life and identity from the ravages of this double life which you lead in drug use and I'd say a sex addiction with which you have been with many ex workers and also in a lot of situations like groups and some kink and things like that,

You're very sexually liberated and you're very emphatic to the wants and needs of these workers. That's actually really refreshing to see here. Bluelight is literally the biggest research portal on the internet toward things llke drug,s drug use, people who use drugs, statistics gathering for the social movements toward decrim and harm reduction which is what we promote.In harm reduction, sex workers are some of our biggest advocates, most in need, and their agencies which support them are huge in the field I really commend you for this. I think there's a lack of knowledge, or education in providing some resources and information in this very forum which is actually essential to harm reduction as a whole.

That total package would breed more advocates like you and I, and the many who are (or were) here. This is an amazing site but it has some holes in its presentation and fabric in cutting this cloth to wear the badge we do, Many of the biggest people in drug policy all the way to hardcore critical criminology know Bluelight and who Monica Barratt is. You sir, are one of the greatest proponents for harm reduction on this site. Particularly for methamphetamines and then empathogens and psychedelics like MDMA and LSD. We were once a really strong duo on the meth using side of the board.

At one point, you actually used to come to me asking questions about crystal meth because I had become, and was becoming more and more expert in the subject. You've always (obviously) had a strong academic edge over me in your background. You have more of the finances and know-how, all the way to the patience to do things like become expert in acetone washes and procedures toward this harm reduction effort. I've seen your accounts in other networks outide this site, I use the same networks sometimes as an infrequent reader and rare participant. You're around. You're a voice in one of the biggest social spheres in harm reduction. Clear and dark. I think that's really cool. You're amazing, actually.

I wish that there was a way for you to just take this head on as your passion and aspiration to career level goals in this work like I did last year. It is possible, and it's really fulfilling and amazing work. I don't know why you're so worried for being caught doing this or being your own self as someone who does use these drugs, In some other areas of your workplaces you'd be a really good fit into the research end of things. In regular publications, which you can be a globe trotter doing this a remote work.. you are really good with people.

You have been really good with me, man. I love you too. Why don't we work on something together? I need help. I could really use yours.. sorry this isn't supposed to be about this. But that's what i think. We'd be an awesome team on some meth-related harm redux work and research. I'm an analyst on national standards for AUD in alcohol withdrawal treatment in Canada now. You know a good chunk of the successes I've had, so.. I'd like it if we did something together.

You've always had a lot of concern for me and for my life. I've been up and down and all over into some really extreme situations to scenario that are just abolutely bizarre. But that's my life. My mental health isn't great. Some periods are much better than others. Regardless, you've just about always been there if I've ever needed to reach out and you've actually helped stable me a bit. When I think of this site I usually think about the friends I've made here, and what so many different events I've caused or experienced in my time here have resulted. I grew up a bit and I found my career path.

I hit my 30s in a total mess of a life and heartbroken, but some amazing things happened here, Getting into contact with a couple different agencies in my line of work, and becoming the BL media guy all at once - along with discovering how huge this site actually is and taking the opportunities I could and did as I networked through that? That changed my life forever. I know some people came to resent that, but I was doing what I was told to do in networking and plugging Bluelight wherever I could as I was Social Media and Communications. That was my title. I'm actually pretty damn good at it! The greatest marker of let down I experienced doing that was this constance where I always felt too much on my own. I needed a team.

My life fell apart and I couldn't handle myself anymore. I totally blew a serious meeting with a Health Canada funded group and @Tronica which led to an even bigger meltdown and then my phone was stolen. My life went black for awhile. I got bits and pieces of what the damage was, while in my actual life I had no control over anything anymore. It was so fucked and I'm not going to run you through it all right now.

I can tell you that I thought of this place a lot though, I was really broken up. I've poured my heart and soul into this site and I was ex-bluelighter. I still have daage to fix with a FB account and I cent get in without an ID card which I still dont have because I'm poor, no car and I don't drive anyway.. I am unable to transport to the city with the nearest Service Ontario office quickly. I was supposed to go on Wednesday but the person who I was told would be driving me and a friend over decided not to show because my towns too far out of the way for his schedule that day. I don't know what to do. I used to be staff here and I was so proud of that!

I did think of you sometimes. I wrote out on a piece of paper descriptions of everyone I had considered to be my good friends here, You were on it. When I think about people here, I think about you quite a bit. I thought about how you said you visit a state just several hours south of me I think jusst about yearly, and I'd run through scenarios I'd dream up in my head as to how that'd go. Usually it's a pretty good daydream. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll be just as alienated as I think I am. I really wish that we'll get along well if that happens though. I've always wanted to meet someone on here in person..

I've been going on and on about myself more than you here. The point is. Regardless of your issues in leading this double life and having some insecurities to this extreme level of promiscuity you represent so well here. I don't consider you to be an unstable person really. Not nearly as much as the ashamed 'sounding' kinds of messages you've sent me when you've binged too hard. Or you've relapsed. We both know the statistics and where we are at. I just used last night and today after around 10 days off of meth. I refuse to feel ashamed like I used to about it. It's just a roll into the next lapse of sobriety from crystal meth in which I'll eventually fall into that permanence as either in life. Or death. Someday I won;t have to use again. I wont feel that I have to do something which I know for a fact has been so fucking destrucive to my life and my ego. I've got some soul left inside that's hurting pretty badly. I think you are too, It's actually alright to be this way. There's no alternative or an actually to be defining sober date until we die. You know that.

You're one of my best friends.
Click to expand...
Oh baby! You are beautiful.
 
Well I've always pictured you as a man trying to escape his bogan upbringing. Someone who yearned for more out of life than drinking stubbies and blowing his weekly Centrelink payment at the local pokies parlour, so at a young age turned his back on the Black Hills of NSW and ventured eastward. Through higher education, lady-boys, mama-sans and methamphetamine he's tried to distance himself from his upbringing but when he looks in the mirror all he sees is a westie from Bullaburra.
 
negrogesic said:
Well I've always pictured you as a man trying to escape his bogan upbringing. Someone who yearned for more out of life than drinking stubbies and blowing his weekly Centrelink payment at the local pokies parlour, so at a young age turned his back on the Black Hills of NSW and ventured eastward. Through higher education, lady-boys, mama-sans and methamphetamine he's tried to distance himself from his upbringing but when he looks in the mirror all he sees is a westie from Bullaburra.
Click to expand...
Also beautiful- thank you.
 
arrall said:
You mentioned going on one with your son in the near future back in December.
Click to expand...
Ah yeah. Then he blocked my number and blanked me for 3 months for reasons only he knows. I only heard from him again yesterday.

My greatest grief.
 
Atomic_Decay said:
Ah yeah. Then he blocked my number and blanked me for 3 months for reasons only he knows. I only heard from him again yesterday.

My greatest grief.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear that. That fucking sucks.

How was the psychedelic road trip? Been thinking of doing one of those myself soon.
 
Last edited:
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