Psychedelics brought out my underlying mental issues

[Plurple]

Mental issues such as depression, anxiety, bi polar, schizophrenia, and a couple others like factitious disorder run in my family.
Tripping on 200+ tabs at a time 17 years ago brought out my uncles underlying issues, my mother has told me that she sometimes hears things. You get my point I'm more susceptible to some issues.

Well, despite knowing this and knowing that psychedelics can bring out underlying issues I still stepped my foot in that hole any way.
I know every body and every mind is different so I figured maybe I'd get out lucky, and hearing voices and things like that is bogus.
I always held on to that hope that maybe I was different than the rest of my family and hopefully I had missed out on that gene.

I loved all of my LSD trips. Even the scary ones turned out to be beautiful experiences I could grow on and learn from. I never exceeded 500micrograms. Yet, I'm sitting here smoking my cigarette and hearing screams and crying. It's quite off putting for me. I even mentioned to my mother the other day what I was hearing and all she told me was the voices get louder.
So, my arrogance is nipping me in the ass quite hard. Even though I was careful with my dosage and spacing out time between my trips, it still brought forth some nasty symptoms. Don't know if it's bipolar, depression, anxiety, insomnia, or what(I wish their was an off switch to my thoughts, it's lIke ADHD on meth). I just know if I do trip again it's going to be quite a while.
I'm debating on dealing with the issues on my own and not using pharmaceuticals, or going to therapy and uncomfortably speeling my guts to a stranger. Ugh

I guess the point I'm trying to make of this post in the name of harm reduction, if you know mental illness runs in your family rethink your decision to use psychedelics. This is something that is going to take quite some time for me to adjust to.

 

[Transform]

I would speak to a psychiatrist, you don't have to totally eliminate the symptoms, but being able to treat them when it's important too will be very useful.

"Pharmaceuticals" are drugs just like LSD. If you're willing to take one to induce one state of mind then I don't see why you wouldn't take the other to get to another state of mind.

 

[Plurple]

If you're willing to take one to induce one state of mind then I don't see why you wouldn't take the other to get to another state of mind.

Because I do not like the state of mind those drugs put me in. I've been down this path years ago to try and tame my anxiety. Klonopin and xanax. All I wanted to do was sleep. It shut my mind up to the point of I was just a zombie in the loop of life.

 

[Tranced]

I'm sorry to hear about this.

Whilst I do understand your position with regards to taking medication, it must be noted that xanax and klonolipin have incredibly powerful side effects as a matter of course. What kind of dose were you on?

 

[Plurple]

I was on multiple doses. Started out at 3mg and over the course of about 6 months my dosage was dropped to .5mg.
While .5mg was a lot better than 3mg it still just was not for me.

 

[CrypticArc]

Don't lose hope. Schizophrenia IS a reversible disease. However, a word of warning, taking medication might nullify any chance of this. They found that schizophrenics in developing countries where psychiatric medications aren't used, are 2x as likely to recover according to a study done by the World Health Organization. Assuming you are matched with a good therapist, most people recover from therapy alone. If you want to dull your symptoms, take medication. If you want to actually improve, therapy is the only answer.

In the 50's they did some research and found that 34% of all schizophrenics had completely recovered and had no symptoms. Another 34% were doing "pretty well". The last 32% were still pretty ill. Of those who had recovered completely, every single recovery case had quit taking their meds. In fact, in 2007 it was reported that 40% of people who got off their meds recovered completely while only 5% of people who kept taking meds made recoveries. Source:

 

[Plurple]

And as far as talking to a psychologist goes, I would love to just so I can figure out what in the world is wrong with me and maybe find some ways to cope, however I have this EXTREME fear of talking to a psychologist or a therapist ever since I was young. Even after I was abused as a child I denied therapy because I wanted to deal with it on my own terms. I just don't like the idea of telling everything to a stranger.

This community however, is a more comfortable environment for me where I can open up, and be understood, and I won't be judged for who I am. You guys don't try to mend me, but guide me.

 

[CrypticArc]

^Make sure you watch that documentary if you can.

 

[Plurple]

^but exactly as you said, I don't want to take medication to deal with something. I want yo deal with it, but I also have that fear of therapy so I will have to find the strength within myself to deal with it. Which may take time, but I know I am a string enough person. I'm just a little kinked up and thrown off right now.

 

[CrypticArc]

Asking for help isn't a bad thing. What is there to fear? Just because you're talking to someone doesn't mean you're "not dealing with it on your own". The whole point of therapy is to unearth buried emotions, so that you're able to deal with them. Trying to recover alone is like looking for buried treasure, but being afraid to rely on a shovel. I'm sure it's possible, but you're going to have to dig with your bare hands. It'll take a lot longer and you've got a pretty decent chance of hurting yourself along the way.

I've been through some shit myself and I can tell you that you won't always deal with things properly alone. Sometimes you just don't know what to think, and you end up blaming yourself or feeling defeated when someone else can look at your problem and help you realize it's not a big deal, or that it isn't your fault.

Also keep in mind that you don't have to share EVERYTHING with them. You can always take it slow and decide to work on one thing at a time, reserving certain problems for yourself to deal with alone.

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

If you can come to terms with the fact that your fear of therapy is largely unfounded, then it may aid you in developing the courage to speak to a psychologist.
I can't imagine what you're going through is easy, but in this case it would seem that fighting through your fear would be the most beneficial to you.
Psychologists after all are best suited to dealing with these illnesses, at very least effective treatment measures, and if you try to deal with it solely on your own you may fall victim to toxic thought patterns that only exacerbate the condition. Think about depression as it's a more well known disorder; many people with depression go years keeping it to themselves but never getting any better because their way of dealing with the problem does more damage than good.
They get stuck in thought patterns of self-blame and deprecation that they entirely forget that there are other more helpful and honest perspectives which they could adopt and begin the healing process, and psychologist can help someone rid themselves of toxic thoughts and perspectives.

I am terribly sorry to hear about your situation and I hope all ends up well for you

 

[Tranced]

Don't lose hope. Schizophrenia IS a reversible disease. However, a word of warning, taking medication might nullify any chance of this. They found that schizophrenics in developing countries where psychiatric medications aren't used, are 2x as likely to recover according to a study done by the World Health Organization. Assuming you are matched with a good therapist, most people recover from therapy alone. If you want to dull your symptoms, take medication. If you want to actually improve, therapy is the only answer.

In the 50's they did some research and found that 34% of all schizophrenics had completely recovered and had no symptoms. Another 34% were doing "pretty well". The last 32% were still pretty ill. Of those who had recovered completely, every single recovery case had quit taking their meds. In fact, in 2007 it was reported that 40% of people who got off their meds recovered completely while only 5% of people who kept taking meds made recoveries. Source:

Wow, I was meant to go to bed but thought I'd just watch the first minute. Here I am a good time later. A definite eye opener. I wasn't expecting that. Good shout.

I agree unreservadly with every single response given.

 

[burn out]

I would recommend getting professional help but I would say first try a psychologist over a psychiatrist, the problem with psychiatrists is they had to go through medical to prescribe drugs and thats basically all they have time for. It way more profitable for them to send you away with a bottle of pills than to actually help you.

Another option would be to see a priest/pastor/shaman/spiritual healer. The voices you are hearing are most likely demons and they can be expelled from you through the power of Christ, or other beings with spiritual power like Buddha even.

 

[TheBlackPirate]

In the world wonderful and compassionate people exist. In general terrible malevolent people exist among us also. Sadly the fact people have Phds and psychology licenses never guarantees those people are in the wonderful compassionate group. The same as society, in general fractions of the people in the psychology profession aren't people worth expressing your innermost thoughts with. Choose your psychologist with care and avoid the mistake I made.

I chose the the wrong psychologist sincerely wishing the psychologist could assist me in integrating what was troubling me. The decision I made was terrible and the psychologist had strong prejudice against dark people. I was honest and open and the psychologist gossiped and utilized this personal information against me because I was dark. Sadly unethical psychologist exist among us.

Please choose the people y'all offer your most emotional and sensitive thoughts with carefully. This is especially important with psychologist. Psychologist have sophisticated knowledge of the human psyche they could utilize in improving or harming another person. Choose psychologist carefully considering the attributes of the field.

 

[Plurple]

Another option would be to see a priest/pastor/shaman/spiritual healer. The voices you are hearing are most likely demons and they can be expelled from you through the power of Christ, or other beings with spiritual power like Buddha even.

I'm not saying that entities don't exhist or anything like that, but I highly doubt the voices I'm hearing are entities. They sound like family members, friends, etc. They're all familiar voices.
I feel like it's more so my underlying fears that are being slapped in my face.

 

[Plurple]

The most recent things I've been hearing have been the sound of my mother crying, my brother screaming for help like he's trapped outside, my dogs whimpering.

I tried to explain it to one of my good friends, and the best way I could put it was there's me, the normal sane me. Except that me is trapped behind a wall of insanity. It's like there's 2 or more people inside my head with me. The only scary thing about that is sometimes they talk.

 

[Plurple]

To elaborate that just a bit more I mean, they talk self hate and suicide. That just isn't me!

Like, anything I say or do is stupid, does not matter, goes in one ear out the other, and these bouts render me mute. I can't talk. Just cry, and feel confused.

 

[tokezu]

I'm sorry this has been troubling you, I wish you all the best!

I can't really say anything about your specific issues, but I wanted to repeat what others already said, that it can't really hurt to try and find a good therapist. First of all where I live (but I think this should be the same anywhere) psychologists can't prescribe any medication. So while they would still encourage you to see a psychiatrist for that if they think it's needed, I think they have a general tendency to say "Let's see if we can't work this out without medication first". From my own experience I know that it is a very scary thought to open up to a stranger about such personal stuff. When I first saw a therapist I was especially scared about giving up control and putting myself at the mercy of somebody I don't even know, but the thing is: you are still you, and if you think they are full of shit you can tell them that and just walk away! There is this notion from oldschool psychoanalysis that the patient doesn't know anything and should blindly trust the therapists interpretation, but I don't think that's too common nowadays. In my case it was always greatly appreciated when I said "I think you theory about me is wrong because..."

You just have to carefully try and see if they are worth your trust, of course you're not going to tell them your deepest secrets right away, but maybe think of something that you would be willing to share with them, but are still worried about their reaction. Then just look how they are responding to that, are they condescending and know better than you or do you feel like you are treated with respect as an equal human being? For me this 'test-question' was how they would respond to my statement that psychedelics have helped me alot with my own mental health issues. Obviously this doesn't really apply to you, but I'm sure you can think of something. And once you have build some trust between the two of you, it's really a great thing to be able to tell them everything! Not in the sense that you don't have any secrets, but in the sense that you don't have to give a shit about how what you say makes them feel. When you're talking with friends or relatives, no matter how well they mean and how much you trust them, there is always the thought of "Oh but if I tell them this, they would feel bad, so I better shut up". But with a therapist you don't have to spare them, they are getting paid for this after all! I was very lucky and found somebody I could work with right away, but don't be afraid to try out a whole list of therapists until you find someone you have a good feeling with.

Again, I wish you all the best!

 

[MetanoiaMan]

You really need to start meditating and doing yoga. Meditating will return you to your breath and the present moment. It's something you should be doing everyday for the rest of your life. Yoga will ground you. It will put your mind in your body and not in your thoughts and ideas about reality. You need a psycho spiritual practice that grounds you in physical experience. You don't need any more acid. You've had enough.

 

[Ligaturd]

I would avoid any contact with a psychiatrist until you have exhausted all treatments a psychologist can give you and you absolutely can't cope without medication. Antipsychotics have many potential side effects but they can be necessary and help a great many people but they are being prescribed recklessly and far too easily. This of course all depends on the severity of your symptoms and if they start making your life unmanageable. I would absolutely avoid all psychedelic, stimulant, marijuana usage for a good while and see where you are at when your brain chemistry doesn't have mind altering drugs affecting it. These drugs are known to worsen or even mimic various psychiatric disorders. Even GABAnergic drugs like alcohol or benzodiazepines, when physically addicted to them the rebound anxiety can have these symptoms manifest or even just worsen them.

I would really encourage a long period of abstinence, eating healthy and exercising. Keeping busy and doing things that make you happy. A good 6 months to a year without aggrivating factors, if these symptoms are either getting worse or not getting better than it's maybe a good idea to think about medication but also make sure to utilize therapy to the fullest extent during this period if you do bring yourself to take this advice. The danger is using drugs that are going to make it worse or losing the plot and not being able to differentiate between fantasy and reality. If you do have schizophrenia, and it is just coming on it will be important to have reality checks and understand what is real and what is not and perhaps being able to rationalize any disturbances that you do experience. Therapy and CBT with a psychologist is an absolute must but there is also the possibility that maybe it's just a temporary psychosis which is why it's important to try to stay sober and not do anything to make it worse.

I am not a doctor but I know this to be good advice. Just try to remain objective about it and be able to admit to yourself whether or not you need medication. Medication for schizophrenia would not likely include benzodiazepines unless it is Olanzapine which has some antipsychotic properties.