I’d like to discuss my experience with chemotherapy and psychedelics. Before starting I’ll mention I won’t get too specific on my cancer as it could be used to ID me I suppose.
I’ve been dealing with cancer for about 8yrs, started as some lumps and I knew almost immediately what it was but couldn’t accept the reality of the situation. I despise traditional western medicine after watching them fuck my dad over, as well as myself in times previous. I tried everything over those years to get rid of it, and for awhile it seemed like it was working. (It’s a faster growing cancer so was unbelievable to the doctors I’d had it so long.)
But life is life and times got tough where I began slipping on my health habits, and before I knew it I needed to get it addressed ASAP. I was in a lot of pain. First a surgery which is what it is, not here to get into that. But then came chemo...
Idk if anyone here has had done chemotherapy of any kind before, but I don’t wish that on my worst enemy truly. 3mos of daily puking, barely any sleep, couldn’t handle loud noise, couldn’t watch TV, many days I just sat in darkness trapped in my own mind.
I had to use odansetron and cannabis for nausea, and lorazepam just to relax my stomach and mind enough just to get my ass in for treatments. It wasn’t a day to day process, it was minute to minute. I prayed constantly, to anyone willing to listen.
When it was all said and done I was left a physical and emotional mess. I threw up every day for a month after my last my treatment my body was still so fucked. Anxiety so bad I couldn’t talk to anyone but my wife. Depression that felt endless. I had just survived but for this?
The best way to describe the feeling is like a couple of times where I was in bad opiate withdrawal and decided to spend a night drinking and doing crack. The combined withdrawal/hangover is similar to how it feels on chemo but never ending. Day in, day out. About the only comfort I got was laying in the hot shower. It was horrible.
That’s where the psychedelics came in.. Before starting treatments I did a Mescaline experience which helped ready me for what was to come.
Then after I started to use them to rebuild myself as a person. These chemo drugs “attenuate neurogenesis, particularly the hippocampus” aka they’re neurotoxic. Well funny thing is these amazing medicines cause neurogenesis in that very brain region. I figured they’ve brought me out of deep dark mindstates before they could do it again.
Unlike my past use I kind of scheduled it a bit more, I kept it in my mind I might need to get a few experiences in before things solidify back to the way they used to be. I averaged once a week or so, mostly with LSD, DMT, and low dose Ketamine.
My first experience was LSD I believe, I ate half a dose which is fairly strong experience with what I get. I’d had this dose plenty before and was familiar with it. I barely felt a thing.
It was like my brain was broken, but towards the end of the “trip” I started to feel a breakthrough, a brief fleeting feeling that told me I was on the right track.
I had a slight afterglow after that one but quite quickly descended back into that horrible anxious/depressed state. (Lorazepam WD wasn’t helping I’m sure.)
About once a week I made sure to have an experience and sure enough with each one I felt more and more myself, with longer afterglow and feeling of normalcy.
About 2mo after my last treatment I had two experiences which together seemed to be the final death blows to my detached/off mental state.
A DMT experience where once again was feeling little. I cried out in my mind, “please just let me feel something!!” As soon as I said that my ears began to ring with the carrier wave and an insectoid looking device with 8 arms came through a portal. It could be best described as an arachnid looking dentist light that they use to hover over your face.
The 8 arms went to work, just like my trip report years ago where aliens worked on my brain, this was very similar. Last time though was a single beam directed in a specific location, while these 8 arms seemed to be moving at lightning speed shooting lasers into my head making what appeared to be minor fixes. (Makes sense with the nature of chemo toxicity.)
After that experience I felt like most of the anxiety had left but still had the depression.
A couple weeks later I had a candyflip with my family, the roll was amazing, the conversations were great, it was nice being with family after everything going on.
That was it, the afterglow from that experience never really dipped back into “bad” levels. I’ve been pretty damn happy and motivated ever since. Pretty much right after that experience I started working again, and besides memory issues still feel happy.
Just saw my doctor and they were all beaming with smiles at how good I’m doing, shocking considering they said it might take me 6-12mos to fully recover. When I told him I’d been working he kinda told me I should slow my roll, which I take as a compliment lol.
I was able to get my mental state back, which allowed proper habits to return like good meals and exercise. Even after all the atrophy of no movement for 3mos I’m nearlt back to where I was before with my body. Exercise was hell in the beginning, especially with no veins left, but with the help of psychedelics found it in me to push through
I can’t say enough about how much I appreciate having these substances in my life. They add so much richness and seem to guide me in the right direction every time I am in need. Maybe they just connect with something higher?
I’m definitely skimming over a lot of things so any questions I’ll do my best to answer. But I would definitely recommend psychedelic use for people in all stages of cancer.
My buddy has been fighting leukemia and finds mushrooms helps a lot with his PTSD associated with this shit. This disease is damaging in so many ways, these drugs allow us to accept wherever we may be at with it.
-GC
I’ve been dealing with cancer for about 8yrs, started as some lumps and I knew almost immediately what it was but couldn’t accept the reality of the situation. I despise traditional western medicine after watching them fuck my dad over, as well as myself in times previous. I tried everything over those years to get rid of it, and for awhile it seemed like it was working. (It’s a faster growing cancer so was unbelievable to the doctors I’d had it so long.)
But life is life and times got tough where I began slipping on my health habits, and before I knew it I needed to get it addressed ASAP. I was in a lot of pain. First a surgery which is what it is, not here to get into that. But then came chemo...
Idk if anyone here has had done chemotherapy of any kind before, but I don’t wish that on my worst enemy truly. 3mos of daily puking, barely any sleep, couldn’t handle loud noise, couldn’t watch TV, many days I just sat in darkness trapped in my own mind.
I had to use odansetron and cannabis for nausea, and lorazepam just to relax my stomach and mind enough just to get my ass in for treatments. It wasn’t a day to day process, it was minute to minute. I prayed constantly, to anyone willing to listen.
When it was all said and done I was left a physical and emotional mess. I threw up every day for a month after my last my treatment my body was still so fucked. Anxiety so bad I couldn’t talk to anyone but my wife. Depression that felt endless. I had just survived but for this?
The best way to describe the feeling is like a couple of times where I was in bad opiate withdrawal and decided to spend a night drinking and doing crack. The combined withdrawal/hangover is similar to how it feels on chemo but never ending. Day in, day out. About the only comfort I got was laying in the hot shower. It was horrible.
That’s where the psychedelics came in.. Before starting treatments I did a Mescaline experience which helped ready me for what was to come.
Then after I started to use them to rebuild myself as a person. These chemo drugs “attenuate neurogenesis, particularly the hippocampus” aka they’re neurotoxic. Well funny thing is these amazing medicines cause neurogenesis in that very brain region. I figured they’ve brought me out of deep dark mindstates before they could do it again.
Unlike my past use I kind of scheduled it a bit more, I kept it in my mind I might need to get a few experiences in before things solidify back to the way they used to be. I averaged once a week or so, mostly with LSD, DMT, and low dose Ketamine.
My first experience was LSD I believe, I ate half a dose which is fairly strong experience with what I get. I’d had this dose plenty before and was familiar with it. I barely felt a thing.
It was like my brain was broken, but towards the end of the “trip” I started to feel a breakthrough, a brief fleeting feeling that told me I was on the right track.
I had a slight afterglow after that one but quite quickly descended back into that horrible anxious/depressed state. (Lorazepam WD wasn’t helping I’m sure.)
About once a week I made sure to have an experience and sure enough with each one I felt more and more myself, with longer afterglow and feeling of normalcy.
About 2mo after my last treatment I had two experiences which together seemed to be the final death blows to my detached/off mental state.
A DMT experience where once again was feeling little. I cried out in my mind, “please just let me feel something!!” As soon as I said that my ears began to ring with the carrier wave and an insectoid looking device with 8 arms came through a portal. It could be best described as an arachnid looking dentist light that they use to hover over your face.
The 8 arms went to work, just like my trip report years ago where aliens worked on my brain, this was very similar. Last time though was a single beam directed in a specific location, while these 8 arms seemed to be moving at lightning speed shooting lasers into my head making what appeared to be minor fixes. (Makes sense with the nature of chemo toxicity.)
After that experience I felt like most of the anxiety had left but still had the depression.
A couple weeks later I had a candyflip with my family, the roll was amazing, the conversations were great, it was nice being with family after everything going on.
That was it, the afterglow from that experience never really dipped back into “bad” levels. I’ve been pretty damn happy and motivated ever since. Pretty much right after that experience I started working again, and besides memory issues still feel happy.
Just saw my doctor and they were all beaming with smiles at how good I’m doing, shocking considering they said it might take me 6-12mos to fully recover. When I told him I’d been working he kinda told me I should slow my roll, which I take as a compliment lol.
I was able to get my mental state back, which allowed proper habits to return like good meals and exercise. Even after all the atrophy of no movement for 3mos I’m nearlt back to where I was before with my body. Exercise was hell in the beginning, especially with no veins left, but with the help of psychedelics found it in me to push through
I can’t say enough about how much I appreciate having these substances in my life. They add so much richness and seem to guide me in the right direction every time I am in need. Maybe they just connect with something higher?
I’m definitely skimming over a lot of things so any questions I’ll do my best to answer. But I would definitely recommend psychedelic use for people in all stages of cancer.
My buddy has been fighting leukemia and finds mushrooms helps a lot with his PTSD associated with this shit. This disease is damaging in so many ways, these drugs allow us to accept wherever we may be at with it.
-GC
