Psychedelic near death experiences/Mania

[cyberius]

I've been integrating a ++++(+) trip for months now and I'm still trying to decode what the fuck actually happened. I had dosed 50mg of 4-ho-mipt and 50-100mg of MXP with wellbutrin in the morning, and it was an unreal nightmarish experience. After dosing the MXP I felt like I was being "driven" (A really nasty energy was erupting inside of me, every cell of my body was working 200%). visual wise the entire room would turn red and be textured with satanic faces and eyeballs before flashing to white and being partially ripped out of existance I felt these delusions of becoming information and knowing everything as my mind would accelerate to the extreme; I felt like everybody was against me in some indescribable plot to stop me from evolving. I obviously held this back with every shred of my being because it was fucking nightmarish.

I also should note what set this off was contemplating life, and trying to figure out why things were on an abstract level. I felt like I was getting my wish and being exposed to some ever expanding network of dimensional information and heirarchy. I was no longer human, but a distorted game of numbers trying to recalculate itself and trying to create any sort of abstraction to survive

What does this sound like though? A psychotic break? Mania? A near death experience? The doctors that ttreated me in the hospital had no clue what I had but my pulse was thundering, they said I might of not made it to me when I came in

 

[Cream Gravy?]

The -phenidines are a class of dissos I doubt I'll ever touch personally, because of stories such as yours hahah.

It really just sounds like you took too much/combined too many drugs and had a break. I've seen people have breaks before, it ain't pretty... and it sounds like you simply went too far and broke. I can't offer you any meaning for your experience, I feel only you can... but remember to not put too much thought into it. Over thinking a trip like this has sent many a psychonaut down paths of mental looping. Don't let it weigh you down, it was just the drugs man. You're good now! Just watch out with your doses/combos in the future I'd say.

 

[Boognish]

Ayahuasca broke my down about ten years ago. It took me a couple years of abstaining from psychedelics to fully integrate the overwhelming power of aya. This happened to me because I didn't have any respect for the experience i.e. I just wanted to get fucked up. Since then I've learned to fully respect all psyches regardless of how mild they may seem.

 

[Kaleida]

What does this sound like though? A psychotic break? Mania? A near death experience? The doctors that ttreated me in the hospital had no clue what I had but my pulse was thundering, they said I might of not made it to me when I came in

Honestly, it just sounds like you were tripping really hard, while possibly also suffering from the physical stress of it. While what you describe sounds a bit more like psychosis than anything else, it doesn't really sound exactly like it, and I wouldn't call it a psychotic break unless it lasted for a long time even after the drugs wore off. As for mania and near-death experience, I wouldn't really say it sounds much like either to me.

What do you expect from that combination and those doses? 50 mg of 4-HO-MiPT is already enough for an extremely intense trip for many, and when you add in the MXP and bupropion.... I would actually be afraid of that combination myself personally, and I wonder if that could be part of what was pushing your pulse up so high. I have heard of seizure-like activity from too high doses of MXP, and bupropion decreases the seizure threshold, so having some of each of that mixed in with a strong psychedelic experience honestly sounds pretty horrifying to me, which it obviously was for you.

Next time, I would say try going a little easier on the doses and combinations!

 

[EntheoDjinn]

........... I felt like I was getting my wish and being exposed to some ever expanding network of dimensional information and heirarchy. I was no longer human, but a distorted game of numbers trying to recalculate itself and trying to create any sort of abstraction to survive...............

I can't add anything on a practical level to what has been said above. I've no experience with these substances. However the segment of your report above makes me think of some of the stuff Timothy Leary wrote about in the wake of high doses of LSD25. He and his co-experimenters experienced what they perceived of as a "grid" - akin he thought, of to becoming aware of (in fact actually seeing) one's own neural networks.

Now if you ask a physicist what she means by "information" she will tell you that it means something has "formation" within its structure. Outside science we have got used to thinking of information as abstract knowledge about something. If you think of your experience as "seeing/perceiving" the informational (formational) structure of your being (and in humans there are undoubtedly incredibly meaningful formations within us) then maybe you were getting an answer to your question which led to the experience you had (although unfortunately extremely unpleasant).

It's just an unproven theory of course, but if it helps make sense of a significant experience then maybe worth exploring. It can't be any wackier than quantum theory