Ambi
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 17
Hello,
I have a question regarding psychedelic enlightment. First i'll tell you my story.
I've been doing a lot of drugs. And by alot i mean a LOT. It started with smoking weed, later it wend to coke, XTC, speed, and eventually it became psychedelics. Which are the only "drugs" i'm taking these days. I've been doing 2c-b, MXE, Ketamine, LSD, Salvia, DMT and now i'm experimenting with Shrooms.
As you can imagine, i've got a lot of experience and had the most bizarre trips over the past 10 years. I'd like to talk about some trips in particular, which were all on LSD so far.
A while ago, i went to this GOA party (on my own) to have some fun and trip with acid. It was the best party i have ever seen. I took 1,5 LSD-blotter which was a very strong dose. I think it was about 300-400UG total. The party went on and it became better and better, until my trip changed into a bad trip. This was really shocking to me, i thought i was going to die, i was sure of it. Thankfully some people saved me as i was on my own, they took me home , me sitting out the bad trip. At that time, that was my 50th (or so) LSD trip so i could really tell the difference between "having a bad period in a trip" or a "real bad trip"... i hadn't seen something like this ever before. I was sure my life was over. It was horrible.
Next day, when my mood became better and better i did some research why i gotten into this "bad trip". Some of Timothy Leary's writings teached me that bad trips often occur when you lack sugar level. This made a lot of sense, i was only drinking water (i had to drive home after my trip was fully gone, so didn't drink any alcohol (beer)).
The "bad trip" occurred at the end of the party (it started at 22:00), my trip went to bad around 05:00. So Leary's writings were very fascinating to me. Also the whole week after this "bad trip" i was totally in peace with myself (big ego-death). I realized my thoughts of going to die was not myself (real self) dying, but my ego which was fighting to stay alive. Which gave huge anxieties during the bad trip.
I loved the days after because of the peace in my head.
------Fast forward to next trip.
This evening, i knew this would be a very important (/dangerous) trip, the first one after my bad expierence.. i thought i was crazy doing this again but the only reason i did it, was because of the peaceful days after the bad trip. If i went bad again, i promised myself i would never do it again but would experience atleast some peace the days after. This time, i didnt do it alone which gave some mental support already. I had a friend with me who could "save" my ass if i gone bad again.
All went smooth till the end of the party again. I was having the same "distortion/errors" in my head.. its like the Television which is not working very well. As if my vision is having errors. These were also the symptoms i had right before my bad trip from the other party struck in. So i thought omg, here we go again... At this point i immediately remembered Leary's writings about sugar.. the psychedelic wil act on my low bloodsugar level. I took 2 energy drinks to prove for myself Leary's writings were right... And they are.
I was also recognizing that the "errors" in my head (also showing themselves on the dancefloor) were because my MIND was trying to do something. As i was dancing, and i THOUGHT about it, my moves would fail. So i was testing that shit out... Why are my moves failing when i think about it. I concluded that; if my mind is going to think about how i do it, the expression (dance) fails because its delayed. The pure form is gone. Then i started to exploit this more and more, and it worked.. as long as i DID NOT THINK about what i was doing, i could "go with the flow"...
This went on for a period of time, and then a psychedelic enlightment struck in... i didnt believe what i was seeing. Why didnt i see that before... EVERYTHING was soooo fucking beautiful. My ego literally detached from my mind. Everything i read in buddha's writings, or adyashanti spiritual writings... Its true. At the moment this happened i realized what they mean by "enlightment", "Nirvana" ... whatever you call it... it has no name, labeling it, is also wrong.
This was the most important experience in my life, BY FAR... its like you find something you lost 20 years ago.
-----------
Some trips went by, without anything happening here.
till some weeks ago, i had another LSD trip.
----------
This time i was just listening to GOA music in my room. Again after a while, when music started to work on me, and i COMPLETELY lost myself in the music, the same thing happened was the trip before. It seems like "errors" are in my head, but i now know to accept those. These "errors" are your ego interfering with your pure consciousness. Your ego is fighting its way to survive, but LSD forces you to let go which results into this state of consciousness. Again a load of weight fell off my shoulders and it was beautiful. All music and everything around me... i loved it. I also asked myself; where the fck where u?!
This time i was able to shift the states of consciousness. To the ego-state and to the enlighted state. I could literally switch between them. Trying for myself to "train my mind" into getting into this enlighted state of consciousness. It was working very well. I now know its literally BEYOND words... i know why they make up religions. Because even the word GODLIKE isn't covering the experience. The peace... the simplicity of everything... its soooo beautiful.
I can't speak it out in terms of words, but people who have had the same experience will know what i'm talking about. Thats also why i'm here.
Is there anyone who can teach me more about this than i already know and more importantly; How to continue this to reach this state of consciousness in a SOBER WAY, without taking psychedelics? Like buddhist monks who can do it. (Also Eckhart Tolle and Adyashanti can do it).
Should i take more psychedelics to train my mind into this state of consciousness, should i read books? What to do to getting to understand this more? Hope to find some people who i can learn from or discuss with about this.
Thanks so much,
-Ambi.
PS; forgive my broken english.
PS2; Please ask me for more details if you'd like to know something,... The story is way bigger than this, but to keep the thread comprehensible i shorted it up.
I have a question regarding psychedelic enlightment. First i'll tell you my story.
I've been doing a lot of drugs. And by alot i mean a LOT. It started with smoking weed, later it wend to coke, XTC, speed, and eventually it became psychedelics. Which are the only "drugs" i'm taking these days. I've been doing 2c-b, MXE, Ketamine, LSD, Salvia, DMT and now i'm experimenting with Shrooms.
As you can imagine, i've got a lot of experience and had the most bizarre trips over the past 10 years. I'd like to talk about some trips in particular, which were all on LSD so far.
A while ago, i went to this GOA party (on my own) to have some fun and trip with acid. It was the best party i have ever seen. I took 1,5 LSD-blotter which was a very strong dose. I think it was about 300-400UG total. The party went on and it became better and better, until my trip changed into a bad trip. This was really shocking to me, i thought i was going to die, i was sure of it. Thankfully some people saved me as i was on my own, they took me home , me sitting out the bad trip. At that time, that was my 50th (or so) LSD trip so i could really tell the difference between "having a bad period in a trip" or a "real bad trip"... i hadn't seen something like this ever before. I was sure my life was over. It was horrible.
Next day, when my mood became better and better i did some research why i gotten into this "bad trip". Some of Timothy Leary's writings teached me that bad trips often occur when you lack sugar level. This made a lot of sense, i was only drinking water (i had to drive home after my trip was fully gone, so didn't drink any alcohol (beer)).
The "bad trip" occurred at the end of the party (it started at 22:00), my trip went to bad around 05:00. So Leary's writings were very fascinating to me. Also the whole week after this "bad trip" i was totally in peace with myself (big ego-death). I realized my thoughts of going to die was not myself (real self) dying, but my ego which was fighting to stay alive. Which gave huge anxieties during the bad trip.
I loved the days after because of the peace in my head.
------Fast forward to next trip.
This evening, i knew this would be a very important (/dangerous) trip, the first one after my bad expierence.. i thought i was crazy doing this again but the only reason i did it, was because of the peaceful days after the bad trip. If i went bad again, i promised myself i would never do it again but would experience atleast some peace the days after. This time, i didnt do it alone which gave some mental support already. I had a friend with me who could "save" my ass if i gone bad again.
All went smooth till the end of the party again. I was having the same "distortion/errors" in my head.. its like the Television which is not working very well. As if my vision is having errors. These were also the symptoms i had right before my bad trip from the other party struck in. So i thought omg, here we go again... At this point i immediately remembered Leary's writings about sugar.. the psychedelic wil act on my low bloodsugar level. I took 2 energy drinks to prove for myself Leary's writings were right... And they are.
I was also recognizing that the "errors" in my head (also showing themselves on the dancefloor) were because my MIND was trying to do something. As i was dancing, and i THOUGHT about it, my moves would fail. So i was testing that shit out... Why are my moves failing when i think about it. I concluded that; if my mind is going to think about how i do it, the expression (dance) fails because its delayed. The pure form is gone. Then i started to exploit this more and more, and it worked.. as long as i DID NOT THINK about what i was doing, i could "go with the flow"...
This went on for a period of time, and then a psychedelic enlightment struck in... i didnt believe what i was seeing. Why didnt i see that before... EVERYTHING was soooo fucking beautiful. My ego literally detached from my mind. Everything i read in buddha's writings, or adyashanti spiritual writings... Its true. At the moment this happened i realized what they mean by "enlightment", "Nirvana" ... whatever you call it... it has no name, labeling it, is also wrong.
This was the most important experience in my life, BY FAR... its like you find something you lost 20 years ago.
-----------
Some trips went by, without anything happening here.
till some weeks ago, i had another LSD trip.
----------
This time i was just listening to GOA music in my room. Again after a while, when music started to work on me, and i COMPLETELY lost myself in the music, the same thing happened was the trip before. It seems like "errors" are in my head, but i now know to accept those. These "errors" are your ego interfering with your pure consciousness. Your ego is fighting its way to survive, but LSD forces you to let go which results into this state of consciousness. Again a load of weight fell off my shoulders and it was beautiful. All music and everything around me... i loved it. I also asked myself; where the fck where u?!
This time i was able to shift the states of consciousness. To the ego-state and to the enlighted state. I could literally switch between them. Trying for myself to "train my mind" into getting into this enlighted state of consciousness. It was working very well. I now know its literally BEYOND words... i know why they make up religions. Because even the word GODLIKE isn't covering the experience. The peace... the simplicity of everything... its soooo beautiful.
I can't speak it out in terms of words, but people who have had the same experience will know what i'm talking about. Thats also why i'm here.
Is there anyone who can teach me more about this than i already know and more importantly; How to continue this to reach this state of consciousness in a SOBER WAY, without taking psychedelics? Like buddhist monks who can do it. (Also Eckhart Tolle and Adyashanti can do it).
Should i take more psychedelics to train my mind into this state of consciousness, should i read books? What to do to getting to understand this more? Hope to find some people who i can learn from or discuss with about this.
Thanks so much,
-Ambi.
PS; forgive my broken english.
PS2; Please ask me for more details if you'd like to know something,... The story is way bigger than this, but to keep the thread comprehensible i shorted it up.
