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Pregnancy Scare, beyond terrified

ABL23

ABL23

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 12, 2012
Messages
75
I feel stupid about posting this online but I'm beyond freaking out and need to find even a minute of temporary comfort. I'd rather just have my parents to talk to but since nothings happened yet I'm not going to to go them and act like it has.

So this past friday I stupidly slept with this girl I have only known for 2 weeks. If this makes any sense, I have already learned my lesson. I'll never sleep with someone I don't care about ever again solely because of this situation. I'm not ready to have a child with anyone therefore I shouldn't be sleeping with anyone, end of story. But despite having learned my lesson already that doesn't mean the consequences aren't still waiting for me.

Anyways the story goes: I used and condom but I'm OCD about things and I cannot remember if I used it properly, I mean i put it on, it seemed incredibly tight (lol?) and I finished inside her with it on, but with the condom still on continued having sex for a little bit (which is so stupid I have almost literally punched myself in the face for doing that), although I was still pretty hard even after I came the condom didn't seem to have slipped up and was still on when I pulled out. Afterwards I decided it would be best for her to take an emergency contraceptive just in case, she took it about 9-10 hours after sex. She isn't on any birth control (something she didn't tell me until afterwards). I am freaking out that the condom failed and that the emergency contraceptive will fail as well.

I'm absolutely terrified right now, the past 5 days have been a nightmare with very little sleep, and I can't focus on anything to the point where I can barely function at work and in my classes. It's like I've already convinced myself this girl is pregnant and my life is going to be forever altered for the worse.

Has anyone experienced this and it turned out ok? I've read 1,000 different stories on the internet with 1,000 different answers in this situation and I'm not really expecting anything that much different here. I suppose I just needed to express my situation to anyone that will listen.

I suppose I believe in karma but only in bad situations. Like I've done so many stupid things in my life and acted like such a spoiled brat that maybe this is the consequence I deserve, maybe it's all coming back around and things are just going to hit rock bottom for me. Luckily I haven't been turning to drugs or anything because If i'm really going to grow up from this experience I can't keep doing that shit anymore. I know nobody can tell me exactly whats going to happen, I just needed to type this out, it's helped a small amount I guess.
 
Hey ABL. If anything you are a thorough man. By the way do you really have to rub it in that your still hard and going after your ejaculate. I dont want to hear those parts.

From what I read your penis is a working class hero. You did your responsible part, you had your fun and as long as you used a condom properly they are remarkably effective at 99%. You've got to remember the condom also contains nonoxynol that kills sperm very effective as well. The levonorgestrel was a bit paranoid, but if it fulfills the role your OCD needed. So a 75% chance an egg wont drop in her on top of that leaves an astronomically low chance that she gets pregnant.


Im a little curious about why you are freaking out the condom failed when you have skills of observation, though. The facts of your situation does not permit that level of anxiety. If your OCD go turn a door knob 50,000 times.
 
Haha, definitely wasn't trying to rub it in, I just know that you're probably not supposed to continue having sex after you've finished with a condom on so it just adds to the risk. I also know for a fact the condom didn't have nonoxynol on it, which I should have noticed when picking up the condoms. I just feel like I bought the shittiest condoms in america and still fucking decided to use them anyways.

So basically I've got it in my head that we might as well have had unprotected sex and that the EC pill is the only buffer between keeping my normal life or deciding the lesser of two evils (take care of the kid I don't want with the woman I don't care about, or just provide child support and go the rest of my life knowing that kid is likely going to grow up wondering what the fuck happened to his loser dad). It's fucked up to say that but at the same time I don't really see the latter as the easy way out, either way I'm going to go through the rest of my life a mental wreck.

I suppose my thought process on the condom is that I am a worst case scenario thinker, there hasn't been a second where I've slowed down and been like hey maybe I'm overreacting and this will turn out ok, the odds of getting pregnant are exactly sky high (though it's also extremely possible to pregnant due to one slip up) and the fact that a condom was at least SOMEWHAT involved along with an EC pill puts the odds pretty low for me, but at the same time someone has to be the statistic for failure so why not me? It's impossible for me to think positively about this. I mean, I haven't been that great of a person up until a few months ago so I feel like maybe I don't deserve to get let off the hook that easily when I have so many times in the past. That's the really the main thing, is that I feel like for the 1000th time in my life I have fucked up and the immense guilt i'm feeling is leading me to believe there is no way I'm going to get out of this.
 
-Think about how many times many couples try to get pregnant. It often requires specific conditions.

-Risks of pull out method, for example, are often magnified to decrease unwanted pregnancy.

-If this woman took the Plan B pill, then she is not pregnant.

-Women often need to be close to, or just after their period to become pregnant. I forget which.

-Having children may be something that becomes a positive in your life if it happens.

-Things such as pregnancy and big life changes are oftentimes out of your control. Going with the flow is important.

-A pregnancy will now either, A. Occur, or B. Not Occur. OCD will continue to cause you to think about something that is out of your control. It would be best to ignore the anxiety and accept you are unsure.
 
I know that we had sex the day after her period ended, which she said was exactly day 6 of her cycle if that means anything, and that she was positive she wasn't due to ovulate until about a week later, which I don't know how the hell she could possibly know that but I guess i'll have to take her word for it. So i'm counting on all sperm having died off by the time that comes around or that the EC pill will delay or prevent ovulation all together. I've read that sperm can live for up to 3-5 days in ideal conditions but that doesn't exactly mean they'll live for 3-5 days, it could be less. But with my way of thinking I'm assuming mine will live for an abnormally long time and that she will ovulate early, and plan b will do nothing to stop it.

I honestly wouldn't be AS freaked out if I was even close to being able to support myself, I've still got a year left in school and then after that I'll have to get a job assuming I can find one. I would also feel better if I saw any future what so ever with this girl but we are very different and I know it's not going to happen. Then how is that going to affect me finding the right girl? Girls with no children don't want to date guys that have one kid with a girl they only knew for two weeks at the time, I can't even imagine how irresponsible that would look (no offense to anyone that may in that situation, since i'm not exactly in it feel free to tell me I'm a jackass and I'm wrong and that I still have a perfectly good chance of finding the right girl for me)

However I appreciate y'all being as optimistic as possible, I literally have no one to talk to about this so I'm only seeing my way of thinking and nobody else's, I don't have much else to go on besides my own paranoid, pessimistic thoughts. I'm not trying to throw a pity party for myself, I have accepted the fact that I've made a mistake and that I have put myself in this situation, however the unknown outcome of this mistake is horrifying.

Plan B is encouraging as I've continually read that if taken within the first 24 hours it's 95% effective, and she took it less than 12 hours after the fact. The sooner you take it the more effective it is so they say. And I'm sure it isn't helping that I am constantly searching the internet for statistics, then focusing on the bad ones and assume that I will become part of that statistic too.
 
I honestly don't know if the condom was put on properly, as it was very easy to get on. However I did get it on, my concern is that maybe it slipped or something, after it was over and I was taking it off it didn't seem to have but I also can barely recall that part of the night, I was just wasn't hardly paying attention at the time. And continuing to have sex after I was finished was also a terrible idea. My judgement has just been obviously so poor all around, I fucking hate myself for this.
 
Several observations:

1. I have had completely unprotected sex with my husband for the last 7 years and have only gotten pregnant once in all of that time.

2. Considering her time in her cycle, the use of the condom AND the morning after pill, the chances of pregnancy are so low that I would put a large sum of money to bet on the fact that she is not pregnant.

3. With that said, think of all of the energy and angst you are putting worth worrying about this. You need to just st back and take a deep breath, there are so many factors here that are beyond your control. The good thing in all of this is that you have obviously learned your lesson about sleeping with someone that you don't want to have a child with.

You are going to be fine.
 
You're going to be fine. With the condom not slipping off, I would almost guarantee you'd be fine. Then the emergency contraceptive?
Do not worry!!! Do not stress!!!!

^^ Beachcat's post is very correct :) go with that!!
 
Woaaah. It would be a miracle if she got pregnant, relax! You'll be fine :) there's no reason the condom wouldn't have worked if it was still on when you finished, and the morning after pill is over 99% effective in the first 24 hours. I've had sex without a condom and without the pill a couple times and taken the morning after the next day and been fine. If you're this stressed out I think you're definitely right to reconsider what you're going to be doing with your sex life, but in the meantime you really have no reason to worry :)
 
ABL23 said:
I honestly don't know if the condom was put on properly...
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Yeah, it is a pretty complicated thing to do... what with the pinching and the unrolling and then the part where it's on...
 
Lol...

First of all OP, take a deep breath and let it out slowly..now do that 3 more times.

Like the others said you will be fine...I also would bet big money on it if someone were taking bets!

1. You used a condom..it was still on..and not ripped apart when you were done.
2. The morning after pill is extremely effective..she took it in the correct amount of time..that alone, even without a condom would make you pretty safe.
3. In general, a womans cycle is 28 days. If she has a period regularly then she would normally ovulate around the MIDDLE of the cycle..which around day 14. Sounds like she is aware of her cycle and times since she commented that she is on day 6 and had around a week until she ovulates. This can vary a little but between these 3 things I'm sure you guys are fine.

Also, just remember even if by some crazy chance she is pregnant..there are many options even then. None are ideal but it is not the end of the world. (But I don't think you need to worry).

Just remember this feeling for next time..
 
I appreciate the encouraging and optimistic comments, they have indeed been helpful. To ilikestims: you're actually pretty right, I've only had one serious girlfriend where we had sex on a regular basis and I had this same fear and she told me I was crazy for thinking like this, much like this girl is telling me the same thing.

I just need to hope nothing comes of this so I can go on and live my life a little more responsibly than I have been.
 
Well let us know if it doesn't have a happy ending..but if she does end up pregnant and I were you (with all the precaustions you took) I would really question if it were mine!
 
I'll be sure to do that. I'm still beyond scared, my mind is just so convinced that there is no other outcome but for this girl to be pregnant, and having to wait a couple of weeks to find out will be torture. It's been almost a week and this has easily been the worst week of my life, everything has just become so dull because I'm completely fixated on this problem. I know I'm sounding weak and dramatic but I can't really help myself at this point.

We also had sex for about 3 seconds without a condom, even though time doesn't matter, I know that precum is still a huge risk as well. The more details I remember and the more I think went wrong the worse this becomes. Getting no sleep, hardly any work done, and my family is starting to notice that something is wrong with me but I can't say anything.

Anyone here taken the pill before, or multiple times with success? And would about 2 1/2 weeks be a decent time to take a pregnancy test or should she wait longer for a more accurate result. I'm hoping she can take one ASAP, the sooner this is over the better. Or at least the sooner I get any sort of answer the sooner I can figure out what the fuck to do with my life.

Thanks again for all the replies so far.
 
You're getting yourself all worked up, calm down! Even with the off chance it might of happened, she's not pregnant because she took the morning after pill. Is she freaking out like you are? I think you're worrying needlessly, really.
 
She's hasn't even given this a second thought, she's said a couple of times that she isn't worried at all. And i've read the morning after pill is 95% effective if taken within the first 24 hours, but somebody has to fall into that 5% so why not me? I've ready plenty of stories online about it no working, the only other thing I have to go on is I know a lot of my friends have used it multiple times and it worked but that also makes me worry more haha, i'm like well shit it's gotta stop working at some point.
 
ABL23 said:
Anyone here taken the pill before, or multiple times with success? And would about 2 1/2 weeks be a decent time to take a pregnancy test or should she wait longer for a more accurate result. I'm hoping she can take one ASAP, the sooner this is over the better. Or at least the sooner I get any sort of answer the sooner I can figure out what the fuck to do with my life.

Thanks again for all the replies so far.
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I've taken it multiple times with success. As have plenty of my friends, I've certainly never heard of anyone getting pregnant after taking the morning after pill. 2 and a half weeks isn't necessarily long enough, I've only ever taken one pregnancy test and if I remember correctly, I had to wait til one week after my supposed period dates...it depends, you may as well get the test though, it'll be written on the box.
 
OP, seriously....your amount of anxiety over this is WAY out of proportion to the facts. It seems to be seriously affecting your day to day life, even in light of the chances being infinitesimal.

Is this the first time you have experienced anxiety and obsessiveness like this? Honestly, you may want to get this checked out.
 
ABL23 said:
She's hasn't even given this a second thought, she's said a couple of times that she isn't worried at all. And i've read the morning after pill is 95% effective if taken within the first 24 hours, but somebody has to fall into that 5% so why not me? I've ready plenty of stories online about it no working, the only other thing I have to go on is I know a lot of my friends have used it multiple times and it worked but that also makes me worry more haha, i'm like well shit it's gotta stop working at some point.
Click to expand...

She isn't worried... that's a good sign. She probably realizes that her chances of getting pregnant are next to none. Don't stress so much!!!

Beachcat said:
OP, seriously....your amount of anxiety over this is WAY out of proportion to the facts. It seems to be seriously affecting your day to day life, even in light of the chances being infinitesimal.

Is this the first time you have experienced anxiety and obsessiveness like this? Honestly, you may want to get this checked out.
Click to expand...

Agree completely. I have anxiety as well, so I know it's a real thing, have you had that looked into? I don't think I could ever do a one night stand type thing because I'd be really worried about diseases. I've only had sex with two guys... ALWAYS using a condom and birth control pill *except* one time my ex and I didn't use a condom and I was paranoid until I got my period that I was pregnant. Arg. Worst few weeks ever. One time I used a medication that made the birth control pill less likely to work and I told my ex we couldn't have sex until a month after I was off that medication. It sucked. But I understand the worries. That being said, basically everyone in this thread has said you don't need to worry... you really don't... but you'll feel a lot better once she takes a pregnancy test and is confirmed that she isn't.
 
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