Hey guys, this is my first post! I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. Thank you for anyone who is willing to read, in advance.
I'm 33 and rarely take any substances besides the occasional X, but a month and a half ago I took half a dose of what is presumably LSD (whether it was or wasn't I can't know for sure anymore, but I know that the blotter was not bitter and did not make my tongue numb at all).
Please, tell me stories of similar experiences that ended well. I am ready to wait for months, even years if I can cling on to the hope that it will get better. Please, if possible, show me a glimmer of sunshine at the end of the tunnel with your stories and advice. I am desperate, guys. Thank you all who took the time to read my experience.
I'm 33 and rarely take any substances besides the occasional X, but a month and a half ago I took half a dose of what is presumably LSD (whether it was or wasn't I can't know for sure anymore, but I know that the blotter was not bitter and did not make my tongue numb at all).
- The trip was extremely intense. I forgot who I was, I forgot that I existed or WHAT I was... My sense of self disappeared. This was of course unpleasant, but as I was coming down my sense of self and my memories came back to me just fine.
- But then after about 10 hours when I thought the trip "ended" is when I started feeling physical symptoms. My brain felt crazy like it was going in overdrive. The four other people who took the substance with me were all feeling normal by now- except for me. For the next 24 HOURS I was feeling the physical symptoms of my brain being exhausted, my breathing was shallow and difficult, my pupils were pulsating, I felt I was dying. I couldn't feel temperatures anymore like my body was numb. I felt like the "lights were going out" in my head, like I would surely die. It was pure torture but somehow after many, many hours, it subsided. I got no sleep, of course, despite trying.
- I thought the hell was over, but that's when the panic attacks started. Every single day I was having multiple panic attacks and not being able to sleep. I felt physically ill from the anxiety. I was feeling nausea, chest pain, heart palpitations, intense fear for about a week. I immediately stopped consuming anything that messes with your mind (no alcohol, no coffee, I don't smoke...)
- Then came the depression. This is where I reached the lowest low, I felt like I could not enjoy anything anymore in my life and that this was permanent. I felt darkness around me, no matter what I did. This is when thoughts of suicide started creeping into my mind, especially in the mornings. I lost my appetite and didn't eat for about a week. This is also when I finally went to see a psychiatrist.
- The psychiatrist said I was traumatized by the experience and prescribed me Prozac 20mg. I've been taking that for about 4 weeks now. Only slight improvement so far. I am going to continue psychotherapy each week, along with the Prozac but honestly I don't feel like it will be enough.
- Right now I just don't feel like myself anymore. I don't recognize myself. I feel my whole life is like a movie - not real. I can't connect with people. I have very scary existential thoughts. This, as I understand, is depersonalization and derealization. I constantly feel some level of discomfort, fear, anxiety, disconnection from the world around me.
Please, tell me stories of similar experiences that ended well. I am ready to wait for months, even years if I can cling on to the hope that it will get better. Please, if possible, show me a glimmer of sunshine at the end of the tunnel with your stories and advice. I am desperate, guys. Thank you all who took the time to read my experience.