I was part of the SF Clinic Study, aka the "frozen blood study," in which blood samples from gay men who visited the City Clinic for vanilla-type STDs in 1979-1980 were frozen for some years -- not, as I understand it, with a specific plan in mind, but because it was a large & likely very useful cohort. Later, well into the early 1980s after HIV (then briefly called HTLV-III) had arrived, they contacted each of us, unfroze the samples, and began periodic testing & interviews that continued for several years after.
I only officially knew something was wrong when I decided to "open my folder" (= ask for my status). By way of explanation, for many years, lots of us preferred not to know, given that the only treatments were incredibly toxic and destructive to QOL. Life in the 1980s was depressing enough, as I've detailed in other postings, and the stigma was many times more intense and demoralizing than today.
When I did this, I learned I'd been HIV+ since my sample was taken (1979) and likely for some time earlier. I'd had random bouts of ordinary sickness (flu, etc.) but nothing hinting strongly that I had HIV, though I had lost some weight over time, very slowly.
That was 1991, so at that appointment, in addition to my antibody result, I got many years of semiannual T-cell counts, from which I did the only sensible geekworthy thing, i.e., raced home to make a line graph. It was a shock to see how wildly the counts had fluctuated over time, and to imagine how my decisions & outlook might have changed if I'd chosen to know my result earlier. It was even scarier to see that my T-cell percentage -- a somewhat more accurate image of immune system health -- had been declining rather steadily.
For the next 4 years my health declined generally and my T-cells fell below the 200 threshold that demarcates the 'boundary' of AIDS, but I never had any of the ominously named AIDS-defining infections. Still, it was a pretty dark time. I took disability in 1995 and basically waited for the reaper.
Then came the protease inhibitors and combination therapy (thank you David Ho), and everything changed, yanking a million of us back from the brink. I started meds in 1996 and made a jawdropping rebound, including a weight gain of nearly 25 pounds, mostly muscle, requiring new clothes head to foot. Had a few rocky spells with the first set of drugs, but was thoroughly improved by, and back in the workforce full-time in, 2002.
On OP's second question: I hardly think about it at all now. And I'm not exaggerating. I take 3 antiviral pills once a day, along with 8 supplements, 2 of them to minimize drug toxicity (which they do successfully), and I never think about HIV when taking them or even when sorting them out each week. I have no side-effects to speak of. My BF is also HIV+ so we have no awkward moments of being careful not to say The Wrong Thing.
I NEVER thought this would be my future. During the period between getting my result in 1991 and the rebound from the first set of meds in 1996, I was absolutely certain I'd never live to see 40. I'm now over 60, working at a high-presssure job that I (mostly) love, and have no plans to retire anytime soon.
TL;DR - Your mileage may vary. Mine sure did.
EDIT: Grammar
