☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: Firly Swolks Discussing Mitillating Tatters Fithout Wilters

[KneelB4Doom]

How is everyone? I'm ok. Wasn't feeling social so avoided company, spent the evening alone cleaning and fixing a friend's PC. Now I'm debating trying some O-PCE via IM injection. Alone and bored....talk to me.

Thats always a good time. Do you game on pc?

 

[LSDMDMA&AMP]

YAMZ

that is all

 

[Morninggloryseed]

Thats always a good time. Do you game on pc?

Me? Nah, use a PC for recording and mixing music, writing, and surfing the interweb. Was never much into videogames, although some of them sure seem like fun for some people.

Same here. I've just been in a very tense, weird headspace lately...

Hey, I have a question for all of you: what does it mean when people ask, "how are you?" I'm very curious about it, because whenever anyone asks me that question, I always feel bewildered. If they want to know my mood, then I wonder, are they asking about that precise moment in time, or just an average of my emotional state over the past few hours, or even week? Furthermore, if it's really a question about mood, then why is it that "fine" or "well" are vastly more popular answers than "sad" or "angry"? People naturally fluctuate through the entire spectrum of human emotion over time, so it seems to me that negative answers should be roughly as common as positive ones.

Ive been in a depressive cycle so I hate the question....I know people don't really want me to tell them the truth as it is a downer. I usually come up with some smart ass response to avoid being a downer...dunno why but I have trouble saying "fine" and leaving it at that.

 

[tokezu]

Hey, I have a question for all of you: what does it mean when people ask, "how are you?" I'm very curious about it, because whenever anyone asks me that question, I always feel bewildered. If they want to know my mood, then I wonder, are they asking about that precise moment in time, or just an average of my emotional state over the past few hours, or even week? Furthermore, if it's really a question about mood, then why is it that "fine" or "well" are vastly more popular answers than "sad" or "angry"? People naturally fluctuate through the entire spectrum of human emotion over time, so it seems to me that negative answers should be roughly as common as positive ones.

Yeah that bugs me too, it often seems like a formalized greeting phrase without any actual meaning. (Side note, I think this is the case even more so in the US. When I was there it sometimes felt like people weren't even expecting an answer, but just another "How are you?" in response.) In general though I am trying to answer somewhat honestly as often as possible, even though it takes a lot of effort for me. Obviously not always, maybe it's not best to bother your coworkers with existential life problems on your first day of work, you know. There have been times when I have been a little too open and the conversation became very awkward very quickly, but on other occasions I was pleasently surprised that people were actually interested in a genuine answer, even if it entails being a bit of a downer.

So apparently my cities government is planning on declaring some kind of 'state of emergency' in early july for the G20 summit and half the city is going to have to do without some of those pesky constitutional technicalities... like, you know, freedom of assembly and such. But hey, we get to demonstrate at the other end of the city where we won't bother Trump, Putin, Erdogan and their ilk, while they try and work on making the world a better place. 8)
But really, according to our senator of the interior, this is all done only to protect us from harm, so we really should be thankful about it. Because what happens if some protesters manage to block the convoy of some world leader for a few minutes? His security forces would interpret that as an enormous security risk and might overreact. He didn't really spell it out, but more or less insinuated that they might even start shooting at people. So the conclusion is obviously that we can't afford to have any protests near those fine people, not that we shouldn't invite people whose security forces pose a threat to peaceful protesters, right?

 

[solistus]

I think "how are you?" is probably the most frequently sent text between me and my partner. It's often how one of us initiates our daily sms chat. We don't just use it as empty verbiage / a generic greeting, though - we actually answer.

I think a big part of the reason why, in general, people just say 'good' or 'fine' is that our society is obsessed with the idea that you should always be happy, and acknowledging when you aren't, at least in a casual social setting, is somewhat of a faux pas. Sometimes people also don't want to feel like they're burdening their friends/family members/acquaintances with their problems, or just don't really feel like discussing whatever negative/upsetting things might be going on for them at the time.

I try not to give overly positive answers out of habit when I'm actually not doing well, but depending on the context, I might stick to a vague, watered down answer. E.g., "eh - been better, been worse."

Sara's been having a rough couple weeks A couple weeks after starting her second internship (after the first one bailed on her), one of her supervisors challenged her "fitness to practice" and cut her position again. She challenged that and won, so she's getting placed in another program on the 1st, but in the meantime she's just sorta in limbo for a couple weeks. Also, she hasn't been sleeping well due to some medical issues, and she has to stop smoking weed again in case the *third* internship placement also drug tests her (first one didn't, second one did), which isn't helping on that front. We haven't been able to spend much time together this month - first she was busy with the internship, and now she hasn't been feeling well and has been going to bed (or at least trying to) really early, while I've been on my usual nocturnal sleep schedule. I really hope she's feeling up to hanging out sometime during the week... I miss her like crazy, and I've been feeling touch deprived lately since we've been seeing less of each other. But other than that, things are still really great between us - I am still sort of in disbelief as to how well it's been going, after years of my dating life being either nonexistent or a total train wreck.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Its funny you mention that applecore, I used to always get a ping of annoyance when people would reach out to with the phase "How are you?" even if I felt like talking at that moment. It's a style that is alien to me but so many people do it. Of course I wouldn't let it stop me, I'd come up with some creative answer and start a proper text exchange or pick up the phone and call them, or brush off the inquiry if I was busy, unavailable or just not in the mood. It the lack of creativity that bothers me I guess. The pussyfooting into my emotional space. At the end of the day I should be grateful someone cares to know how I feel. Most of the time they don't even want to know really, they just want to connect and don't know how. So if I'm really not feeling it, I usually put let them know by the style of reply. If I am, I'll get playful and and reply back. I've always been super creative when reaching out to people. I really put the effort in. I make it worthwhile to the person when I want to enter their space because most of the time I'm content inhabiting my own space. To some, "How are you?" is the best they can do. I guess I can appreciate the honesty behind it, but still...

 

[Xorkoth]

Your GF sounds like a very nice young lady. Sorry that she has to deal with that B$.

She is. Yeah so am I.

We went camping in a beautiful place Friday and Saturday, it was a nice recharge for her. And she stays at my house on the weekends. I think we're about to go on a hike, maybe find some chicken of the woods (the tastiest mushroom ever that you can't buy anywhere that I've ever seen). She just asked me when we're gonna do the MDMA I got for us to do also. She's nervous about it hurting her stomach so she's asking about taking a low dose first. I'm kinda wondering if she's angling for that today.

Hey, I have a question for all of you: what does it mean when people ask, "how are you?" I'm very curious about it, because whenever anyone asks me that question, I always feel bewildered. If they want to know my mood, then I wonder, are they asking about that precise moment in time, or just an average of my emotional state over the past few hours, or even week? Furthermore, if it's really a question about mood, then why is it that "fine" or "well" are vastly more popular answers than "sad" or "angry"? People naturally fluctuate through the entire spectrum of human emotion over time, so it seems to me that negative answers should be roughly as common as positive ones.

In casual meetings between people who don't know each other, it's basically like saying "hi" and feeling like you're being considerate. People want to hear "fine" or "ok", and maybe you say it back. If you actually start telling them about how you're not doing well, they're generally taken aback. It's weird. On the other hand, I ask my friends sometimes, if they seem to be troubled, in order to literally ask them how they're doing.

 

[Solipsis]

I know about those kinds of bewildering questions and some of those can take me off guard, but on the other hand 'how are you' should be thought of as a generic first question to initiate contact, or sometimes more like a discussion or personal discussion but not always. Someone is just asking "about you", therefore it's fine to respond just formally (mostly "I'm fine" which can be a less than honest answer) to just establish contact but you could also actually answer honestly. All is pretty good contact, you'll never know how a talk might go.

So yeah you can despise the ambiguity of the question, but also just repond pretty much any way you like as it virtually always amounts to "contact made". The less you are interested in making real contact, the less you should read into the question anyway. Also the social situation might suggest how loaded the question is, or how inappropriate to start an elaborate talk... but sometimes, fuck that, take some space if you want it...

I probably more than averagely respond honestly or more elaborately than expected, just what you get for making contact..

A form of miscommunication if what you say doesn't yet specify how personal things are getting... when more depressed it is also harder to see how relative perspective is anyway... I've spent a lot of today seeing things through shit-colored glasses, coincidentally cause I got a little shitfaced yesterday... I intend to make this beer and weed my last, not sure if it will hold up but I will probably detox soon anyway, with a bit of help. I conclude I pretty much have no choice if I want to start a job / traineeship etc and not jeopardize everything.

 

[TheAppleCore]

I've been asking that question to people outside of Bluelight as well, and as usual, this thread is a source of the most detailed and interesting answers. The overwhelming consensus appears to be that "how are you?" is not a real question, but a polite greeting like "hello". Therefore, I propose that we band together to form a resistance against this misleading verbiage, and boycott the phrase. Personally, I'm going to start making more of an effort to punish those who ask the question with no intent for an honest answer.

Tozeku, where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?

Actually, come to think, I've had a few conversations with people in which I've asked the question myself, the other party responded with genuine emotional distress, and I felt immediately awkward, because I realized that I didn't know how to deal with that situation. I guess I felt the need to express sympathy, but I wasn't confident in my ability to connect, and so I was afraid that I would sound cold, or perhaps even phony.

 

[The Hypnotist]

The fine answer is plain lying. I know it is automatic and just to make contact but lying automaticaly sounds kind of pathologic in a sense. For some reason it is less invasive than a plain Hello, which seems to break the ice more sharply. I think it is because it gives a chance of a story being told...something like ''can you entertain me?'',or ''do you have any piece of information that can improve my life at any level?''
I used to be the kind of person who always answered detailed and no matter what, didn't add much to most of my encounters. Now I am training myself to say fine, but then just after take the conversation to a more personal place and if I see any kind of chance for deepness then I just go on to communicate my real feelings. And if not, I just try to find a polite way out.

I find it hard to hide my actual emotional state as I am one of those people who you can read everything in their faces. Wish I could be a better actor in this theatre that life becomes sometimes. I feel it varies a lot in how much you are exposing yourself to social interaction. For the most part I am quite reserved and a clear introvert, but I travelled a lot and during my travels sometimes I get to get looking like a skilled extrovert. Lot to do with practice and feeling good...and maybe even having something to explain...sometimes life gets so boring we get very self-absorbed and lose completely interest in the people around us.

 

[tokezu]

I intend to make this beer and weed my last, not sure if it will hold up but I will probably detox soon anyway, with a bit of help.

You can do it! And so can I, right? Right! I guess? For how long can you know what the right choice is and not make it?

TheAppleCore, well the mention of the G20 gave it away anyway, I live in Hamburg. And it's tokezu

 

[psy997]

Hey, I have a question for all of you: what does it mean when people ask, "how are you?" I'm very curious about it, because whenever anyone asks me that question, I always feel bewildered. If they want to know my mood, then I wonder, are they asking about that precise moment in time, or just an average of my emotional state over the past few hours, or even week? Furthermore, if it's really a question about mood, then why is it that "fine" or "well" are vastly more popular answers than "sad" or "angry"? People naturally fluctuate through the entire spectrum of human emotion over time, so it seems to me that negative answers should be roughly as common as positive ones.

When 99% of people in the US (it's only an American phenomenon asking as a greeting) ask "how are you?" they don't care whatsoever and IME want to hear nothing but "I'm good" or similar. Again, this is different with friends, acquaintances, and loved ones that you interact with on a more intimate level. But, I've been honest with cashiers, random people on the street, and elsewhere and most every time I am, with few exceptions, the other person is taken aback, surprised, and seemingly unprepared to do anything more than reply to a cookie cutter socially obligated response of "I'm good" or similar. Even workers in coops and other environments that I would expect to be actively looking for depth and connection, nothing. Sometimes with a few women I've gotten an empathic response, asking what's wrong, reassuring that everything will be alright, but still. At this point, it's simply an unconscious social contract expected to be followed by any and all in every situation.

EDIT: apparently I missed a huge convo with this same answer over and over, whoops

 

[Cream Gravy?]

"I've got nothing to say but it's okay,
Good morning, good morning, good morning!"

 

[KneelB4Doom]

Was feeling a lil down in the dumps today. Nothing serious. Just kinda on cruise control and emotionless. Feeling better.

 

[Xorkoth]

I know about those kinds of bewildering questions and some of those can take me off guard, but on the other hand 'how are you' should be thought of as a generic first question to initiate contact, or sometimes more like a discussion or personal discussion but not always. Someone is just asking "about you", therefore it's fine to respond just formally (mostly "I'm fine" which can be a less than honest answer) to just establish contact but you could also actually answer honestly. All is pretty good contact, you'll never know how a talk might go.

So yeah you can despise the ambiguity of the question, but also just repond pretty much any way you like as it virtually always amounts to "contact made". The less you are interested in making real contact, the less you should read into the question anyway. Also the social situation might suggest how loaded the question is, or how inappropriate to start an elaborate talk... but sometimes, fuck that, take some space if you want it...

I probably more than averagely respond honestly or more elaborately than expected, just what you get for making contact..

A form of miscommunication if what you say doesn't yet specify how personal things are getting... when more depressed it is also harder to see how relative perspective is anyway... I've spent a lot of today seeing things through shit-colored glasses, coincidentally cause I got a little shitfaced yesterday... I intend to make this beer and weed my last, not sure if it will hold up but I will probably detox soon anyway, with a bit of help. I conclude I pretty much have no choice if I want to start a job / traineeship etc and not jeopardize everything.

It's funny, yesterday morning I replied to this question and then my girl and I went hiking and the first guy we encountered said "how are you doing?" as we passed him. I looked him in the eye, smiled, and said, "great, thanks, how are you doing today?" He got all flustered and looked down and I grinned at him. Then my girl and I talked about this very topic. I realized that what I like to do is go full-out like that, answer them truthfully and then force the fact that they started a conversation with me. A surprising amount of the time (at least where I live), people are like, oh wow, nice, let's chat a second, and then I've had a nice interaction and it makes me feel good. And if they get all awkward and taken aback, then I'm greatly amused at their discomfort since they were in truth just quite rude, and I am also amused by that.

But yeah when I encounter someone I generally say "hey" or "hello", which invites merely an acknowledgement of existence and is way more comfortable for everyone. I do feel awkward and strange just entirely ignoring people that I encounter though if someone ignores me I'm fine with it.

My girl and I really had a great weekend, on Friday/Saturday we went camping, also went swimming in a river on Saturday, and yesterday we went hiking in what is now, I think, the most beautiful place I've ever seen/been. Wow, talk about wonderful, we found a new high mountain river with waterfalls, coupled with interspersed bald peaks with flowery meadows and spruce/balsam forests with tons of mountain laurel and rhododendron and all manner of other plants and intense craggy views. She decided to try a really low dose of MDMA. Since we want to do it therapeutically for her, and she has intense reactions to a lot of things physically, she wanted to try and make sure nothing weird happened with a low dose, so I gave her 40mg. She didn't feel much but it also had absolutely no negative effects, so it's encouraging. We actually ended up having some pretty uninhibited conversations about the things she's struggling with now so it may have actually had some effect, either that or we just had a great day.

Today I am buying some ripple coin and ethereum coin, doing a ittle investment. Ethereum doubled in one month last month, my friend doubled $1000 to $2000. I REALLY wish I would have gotten in a year ago, fuck that would have been awesome to make 40x your investment in a year. But Ripple is a new coin that seems like it has some great backing and is at 28 cents per coin right now. If it experiences any of the typical raise in value that these do, I could become quite wealthy off of a modest investment in a while. Figured I'd give $200 a shot, if it even went to $10 per coin I'd basically turn that into $8,000. I can buy them instantly so yeah. Already $200 in, if it seems to look favorable I'll do the same next month. It's not inconceivable that it could really balloon massively, hell, bitcoin started at cents on the dollar per btc, and look at it now. Peaked at $3,000 per btc recently.

Think about it though... ethereum coin 1 year ago was like $10 per coin and it's almost $400 now. These things move quickly. Bitcoin is going nuts too but how much higher could it get? I hear it's going to split into 2 companies or something soon which might destabilize it.

Crazy shit man.

 

[KneelB4Doom]

All I want to know is who's coming with me man?

 

[Xorkoth]

I might come with you but it depends on what those are, and whether you're going to share.

 

[KneelB4Doom]

2C-B and MDMA! Just picked em up today. Sooo fucking tempted right now to try lmao

 

[Xorkoth]

Ah then yeah I'm coming with you!

 

[vortech]

I just watched this video, 'The Quantum Nose, How Smell Works' and it kinda blew my mind. It got a lot of things percolating in my mind, especially the phenomenon in which certain processes of mind can trigger smells...something quantum, something vibrational. The theory aligns with the idea that drug molecules' resonant frequencies affect the effect they have on the brain, and also that molecules that appear to be the same chemical can actually have different resonant frequencies. I experience this spontaneous smell phenomenon when sober, but dissociatives amplify and modulate this effect a lot. Not sure where to post this video in the forum to get a relevant conversation going.