Wow, that was an absolutely brilliant trip. Although I obviously want to continue to live and grow, that's the kind of experience that, in a way, makes me feel contented to die. If only in that one beautiful, glorious experience, all my troubles and pains have been vindicated.
I'm going to have to officially endorse the extended, multi-day trip technique, at least with 4-AcO-DMT. It really took a deep, long exploration of that space to finally strike gold, so to speak. Having a good trip on 4-AcO-DMT is really a victory -- it doesn't work like a lot of drugs, in which you're just handed everything on a plate, and feel satisfied on the one hand, but stupid and lazy for just allowing chemicals to bring you your joys on the other. 4-AcO-DMT really involves you in the process, so you're not just a spectator, but a participant, which is *so* satisfying.
Also, if you're reading this
Roger&Me, thank you SO much for recommending Fillmore East 9/19/70! That was completely epic! That night the Dead cultivated such a delicious combination of relaxation and laid-back vibes, on the one hand, and insane energy, on the other! Also, I love when Pigpen shouts "FUCK!" after the grand finale. :D
Man, I was so rapt, so focused on the music during that trip. So completely free of mental distraction, just a pure iron connection to the music.
All right, I'll shut up about it now, and go write a trip report or something.
My last MXE experience really messed with me. I find I really don't like NMDA-antagonists; there's a dangerous edge in there.
I don't have any addictive drugs now and that's how it should be, my MXE is at my friend's place because I have an indefinite break from it. MXE also addictive for me.
A drug's capacity to negatively affect its user, and to positivity do so, are equal -- two sides of the same coin. Yes, dissociatives can be highly destructive, but also incredibly constructive, I am quite confident. Everyone responds differently to all psychoactive drugs, but I would be cautious of writing off MXE as a toxic fun drug. I have gained an invaluable psychological tune-up from MXE.
Edit: Everything is spinning, my monitor is spinnng, wherever I look everything is just spinning and spinning. I think I manage the high by writing here, I focus on something. If I would get up from the chair everything would just spin and I'd probably stumble around, walking into walls and falling around. The monster dose is really starting to show it's effects.
Nice job writing a coherent post, in that state! No grammatical errors -- I think that must be a world record of some kind! :D