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Partner doesn’t know

Nightrider19

Nightrider19

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 8, 2019
Messages
457
I’ve recently started a relationship with a guy who lives in another state who fits in my life like I thought no one would.

Which means I’ll eventually have to move. Which conveniently and coincidentally he lives two streets away in the same suburb as my best friend.

I have told him about my coke use but when we started talked I wasn’t using meth as frequently and I am honest about everything else with him but I just don’t think he will handle this little bit of information. He’s a straighty 180, highly successful... I could make you vomit in your mouth ?

So my question is do your partners know.
 
Yes, I always begin the relationships with confessing my addiction/drug use. Even before the relationships begin, there is usually always some kind of situation in which they might find out so it's better to be honest from the start.
 
morpheuspapaverus said:
Yes, I always begin the relationships with confessing my addiction/drug use. Even before the relationships begin, there is usually always some kind of situation in which they might find out so it's better to be honest from the start.
Click to expand...

^^^THIS..

If you start things out with a lie then it just makes it a thousand times worse if they find out later down the road...

Sometimes though, it helps to try and sweeten the deal a bit by adding some sort of caveat that you're using "x drug" but are in the process of trying to stop or are actually stopping... which in itself it a good idea as a relationship where he's straight as a ruler and you're fucked up on meth is probably gonna head south pretty quickly tbh...

Beat of luck..
 
Yeah plus through lying you just waste the time of both of you because maybe is very anti-drugs so when he'll find out he will dump you. As a result you both lost time, instead of being honest in the first place
 
^^ Yeah theres no point starting a relationship on a lie, what's the point of sharing your life with someone but not actually sharing ?

Also
The majority of meth users think that they can keep there use secret
but unfortunately its glaringly obvious to everyone around you, but you. it wont be kept a secret for long
 
morpheuspapaverus said:
Yeah plus through lying you just waste the time of both of you because maybe is very anti-drugs so when he'll find out he will dump you. As a result you both lost time, instead of being honest in the first place
Click to expand...

?

I don’t want to keep it a secret what soever, I didn’t come this far to only come this far.
 
Tell him, since eventually he will find out and will accuse you of keeping secrets and lying about yourself. I am not into drugs anymore but when I was I was honest with people about how I liked to trip on mushrooms/acid, smoke pot, and drink beer.
 
Just tell him that you wanted to try this new drug that you never tried with him, because you wanted to share the experience with someone special, and we know how meth is, he's gonna want more soon enough.
So you'll have ensnared your love in your meth trap, and you'll now be spun ever after.

Joking ofcourse.... you need to tell him.... or quit before you go further in the relationship.
If you find out it's easy for you to lie then you will know you don't really care for this person.
 
I would keep it separate if you are not in the right frame of mind to forgo the use of illicit substances.
 
Nightrider19 said:
I’ve recently started a relationship with a guy who lives in another state who fits in my life like I thought no one would.

Which means I’ll eventually have to move. Which conveniently and coincidentally he lives two streets away in the same suburb as my best friend.

I have told him about my coke use but when we started talked I wasn’t using meth as frequently and I am honest about everything else with him but I just don’t think he will handle this little bit of information. He’s a straighty 180, highly successful... I could make you vomit in your mouth ?

So my question is do your partners know.
Click to expand...

It's not the kind of thing you give out on a first date, but I believe you should never lie to a SO about it. They need to know what they're getting into before they become too far into the relationship. When I've gone out with people, I take my pills openly etc and offer them some and then it just is what it is and if they wanna ask questions I'm 100% honest.
Nobody should be trapped into a relationship with an addict without their knowledge. It's a BIG thing to lie about.
 
I think it's a bit rich bringing drug baggage into an otherwise fortunate union. no need to go compromising their beliefs, especially if things are looking well overall otherwise. things such as substance taking on any frequency is never a pleasant discovery and can certainly be ruled out as the solid basis of a union. so; I'd say, value the person over the ongoing tendency to dabble in substances. people you can commit to are usually worth reigning the party bollocks in for I feel. they might be more reliable and trustworthy than those who are firmly associated with the 'scene' itself too, hence, just cut it out or at least keep them from finding out - saves having to justify your immaturity. i think most folks prefer the image of a cleanskin if not an actual law abiding citizen. these tabboos can't really be successfully compromised because drug seeking behaviour is a sure sign the relationship will suffer. if you want my honest advice, try going out once a month and coming down for a couple days then rolling on with your partner if things are otherwise smooth enough. you'd hate to think drug use was a mitigating factor in the demise of a union that could well withstand the test of time, when all's said & done. not worth throwing something good away over! it's a selfish way to live, having them party to your drug íssue' etc.... you'd hope a new person/premise should be reason enough to be enlivened. if nothing else.
 
hyroller said:
I think it's a bit rich bringing drug baggage into an otherwise fortunate union. no need to go compromising their beliefs, especially if things are looking well overall otherwise. things such as substance taking on any frequency is never a pleasant discovery and can certainly be ruled out as the solid basis of a union. so; I'd say, value the person over the ongoing tendency to dabble in substances. people you can commit to are usually worth reigning the party bollocks in for I feel. they might be more reliable and trustworthy than those who are firmly associated with the 'scene' itself too, hence, just cut it out or at least keep them from finding out - saves having to justify your immaturity. i think most folks prefer the image of a cleanskin if not an actual law abiding citizen. these tabboos can't really be successfully compromised because drug seeking behaviour is a sure sign the relationship will suffer. if you want my honest advice, try going out once a month and coming down for a couple days then rolling on with your partner if things are otherwise smooth enough. you'd hate to think drug use was a mitigating factor in the demise of a union that could well withstand the test of time, when all's said & done. not worth throwing something good away over! it's a selfish way to live, having them party to your drug íssue' etc.... you'd hope a new person/premise should be reason enough to be enlivened. if nothing else.
Click to expand...

Why are you on Bluelight? You seem to have very little knowledge about addiction and seem actively judgmental about users/addicts :/
 
As person my original post.
I was curious and had no intention of “hiding” this of findings way to hide it.

I just got back from being away for the week and I haven’t used in a week and even thought I got back today I didn’t rush to use but that’s not what I trying to point out here.

Fucking oath I was going to tell him but in person, we haven’t seen each other in over 6 weeks - texting is cowardly regarding this.
He was shocked, I wouldn’t say understood but he was happy I was honest and just said I need to make a plan moving forward as it may not be affecting my life now ( I own a house, car, various ventures) but if he notices it does he won’t be so supportive.

And no he’s definitely not interested in trying anything ? prior to this conversation he said “ you might laugh but I’ve never. Punched a cigarette or drugs” I said I won’t laugh that’s good, really good!

Thanks everyone for your feedback.

I was just waiting for the best time to tell him honestly and detailed like he deserves
 
morpheuspapaverus said:
Yes, I always begin the relationships with confessing my addiction/drug use. Even before the relationships begin, there is usually always some kind of situation in which they might find out so it's better to be honest from the start.
Click to expand...
Yes there’s true honesty that sets the base for the relationship to go on
 
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