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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Paranoid Schizophrenia or psychosis? heavy coke and amp use.

pcplease

pcplease

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 18, 2011
Messages
59
I just hit 19mo dry the 25th. Benzos weren't helping. I've been Rx'd amps and benzos for a long time. I'm 30 w/ stage 3 cirrrhosis; my liver was fine homebrewing and ticking hundrees on untappd, beeradvocate etc. 2018. Then I was homeless and its a lot easier to walk through a cvs in downtown chicago tto the point they needed it to grab a plastic handle).

In any case, a few oz of 3.9% work better than benzos (GABAb). They and kratom help.


Family History:
An uncle is schizophrenic and has been mostly MIA now. We just know hes at his favorite town we'd visit on our family vacation he t9I know my dad was in an institution for a significant amount of time. (i know) no more than that.
 
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Sounds more like psychosis if I understand your question.
 
I’m not understanding the question 🤔
Or post. Can someone fill me in? I don’t think I’m that high, but maybe.
 
Don't worry about the cause. It seems like nothing your saying makes sense. Can you get a friend or family member to help get you help immediately? I'm honestly amazed you could reach out. Absolutely nothing wrong with being too impaired to think clearly. Almost everyone in my family including me was so impaired cognitively from whatever at some point they didn't see how severe the life-threatening issue was and could of died without help. If you took stims seven days ago I'm no doctor but sounds like
A. Alcohol withdrawal (serious seizure could kill you and causes delirium/confusion)
B. Schizophrenia and your self medicating with alcohol and if you have a bad liver eventually you might not have it to cope
C. Your liver or something might not be working correctly altering your mental status.

I know you mentioned your homeless at one point. Do you have access medical help?
 
Nobody here can really diagnose you. You need to go to a doctor or hospital.

I've experienced schizophrenia and psychosis. Both kratom (particularly higher doses) and alcohol made my symptoms worse. You need medical attention and to stop relying on drugs/alcohol to moderate symptoms.
 
any obsessive/compulsive/addictive behavior defines limits to any recovery/treatment process
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forum is broken and thats why former sentence is quoted but this is something I thought about initially after reading your post after Snafus response. Also when I read someone on other topic saying "get rid of complexities" on antipsychotic tread.
Don't think about side effects, what's the point anyway?, do whatever you perceive logical response to where you are now. It probably won't last anyway.
 
Havnt there been cases of kratom causing liver damage? I wouldn't take it if you have existing liver damage
 
LucidSDreamr said:
Havnt there been cases of kratom causing liver damage? I wouldn't take it if you have existing liver damage
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Yes, but it's quite rare and the combination of kratom and alcohol, or a liver previously damaged by alcohol, seems to be the main causative factor.
 
Pissed_and_messed said:
forum is broken and thats why former sentence is quoted but this is something I thought about initially after reading your post after Snafus response. Also when I read someone on other topic saying "get rid of complexities" on antipsychotic tread.
Don't think about side effects, what's the point anyway?, do whatever you perceive logical response to where you are now. It probably won't last anyway.
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I was in the psyche ward about 10 days ago. there wasnt much static noise nor reason to be fearful. so much was obvious (unknowingly absorbing) meth OD, yet convoluted by little things: how i knew i was about to get raided and arrested (to the lockdown ward of a hospital I knew took medicaid right before i went to go get an iced coffee. im in a legal state, but had a LOT of weed which was all left ((<3)) indica dominants and shit outs seem to help..


my liver was fine after a few day detox in 2018 when drinking real beer and a little bit of good whisk(e)y, and at point had been taking 40+g kratom daiily for several years. Then I was homeless and its a lot easier to grab a plastic $10 1.75L, but it became a handle/day due to worsening pain (avascular necrosis of the hip = two fake hips and severely limited range of motion/gait.
in any case i know i need more medical attention but 1. im a chainsmoker and 2. knew id be homlesss again after november.
i apologize and really appreciate everyone's urgency to get help, as well as navigate the headache. bromazolam might be recreational but i woiuld much prefer my old lorazepam 2mg's and a DRI like ritalin or even Wellbutrin + mirtazepine/amitriptyline .

I'm contemplating a Benzedrex to see if it worsens symptoms
not really relying on alcohol or kratom for symptoms. i just know that 1-2pts of 3.9% ABV will not worsen my cirrhosis drastically and that it's not "off to the races" yet. i'm trying to find/set up emergency housing+treatment which I think i have.

im gonna end up on subs for kratom, lol.
 
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my last liver check up was great. i had 19mo dry, 6mo total sobriety and had both hips replaced while on vivitrol i.e. No opiods. I started working again 5wks after the second was replaced and shouldve never taken another chef job. unless it involved a lot of sitting like tending a live fire and literally making bacon which I am quite good at
 
Snafu in the Void said:
Nobody here can really diagnose you. You need to go to a doctor or hospital.

I've experienced schizophrenia and psychosis. Both kratom (particularly higher doses) and alcohol made my symptoms worse. You need medical attention and to stop relying on drugs/alcohol to moderate symptoms.
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Since I believe Thursday, I have had 1-2 pints of 3.9-4(.1?)% ABV per night to help me sleep along with Doxepin, buspar, and propranolol. Needless to say I am hesitant to take anything besides smoke weed and have a beer; that includes a solution of ~5:1 bromazolam/flubromazolam I have been on gabapentin for over a decade and that got lost during the raid. I have not yt tried mirtazepine which is what i plan on tonight
 
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pcplease said:
I was in the psyche ward about 10 days ago. there wasnt much static noise nor reason to be fearful. so much was obvious (unknowingly absorbing) meth OD, yet convoluted by little things: how i knew i was about to get raided and arrested (to the lockdown ward of a hospital I knew took medicaid right before i went to go get an iced coffee. im in a legal state, but had a LOT of weed which was all left ((<3)) indica dominants and shit outs seem to help..


my liver was fine after a few day detox in 2018 when drinking real beer and a little bit of good whisk(e)y, and at point had been taking 40+g kratom daiily for several years. Then I was homeless and its a lot easier to grab a plastic $10 1.75L, but it became a handle/day due to worsening pain (avascular necrosis of the hip = two fake hips and severely limited range of motion/gait.
in any case i know i need more medical attention but 1. im a chainsmoker and 2. knew id be homlesss again after november.
i apologize and really appreciate everyone's urgency to get help, as well as navigate the headache. bromazolam might be recreational but i woiuld much prefer my old lorazepam 2mg's and a DRI like ritalin or even Wellbutrin + mirtazepine/amitriptyline .

I'm contemplating a Benzedrex to see if it worsens symptoms
not really relying on alcohol or kratom for symptoms. i just know that 1-2pts of 3.9% ABV will not worsen my cirrhosis drastically and that it's not "off to the races" yet. i'm trying to find/set up emergency housing+treatment which I think i have.

im gonna end up on subs for kratom, lol.
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It's sounds like you need pain management which is basically illegal in America now.

Instead of prescribing you pain killers for your hips you deal with it by drinking and krstom which have destroyed your liver it seems.

Putting your mental health asside for a second, You seem like a victim of the war on pain in America.

I've also destroyed organs in my body medicating pain using illegal drugs and alcohol because opioids would not be prescribed when they should have been.


If pain is a big issue...Please don't treat it with alcohol or other clandestine drugs...you'll just damage more organs and give more pain.

The only safe solution for chronic pain treatment seems to be to pretend you're and addict and get on methadone (or suboxone if subs are strong enough for your pain).

But self medicating pain has destroyed me. I am doing everything possible to stay on pharmaceutical drugs only now...including permanently leaving the US next year for freedom to access opipids for pain. I've built such a great life in America and this one lack of freedom makes this place unlivable for me anymore. This countrynis going to hell in more ways than 1.

And I fear for everyone who is going to be rotting on their deathbed, euthanasia outlaws by prolifers, and opioids denied...we are all going to suffer a savage brutal slow tortured death if we die slowly like this in America...it's happening to people already and it's one of the most unjust and ignored things I've ever seen this country sink to.
 
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Same. I’m in the pain struggle and it’s terrible.

But glad you’re ok @pcplease 😊. Thanks for the updates.
 
pain management and severe inattentive adhd and severe anxiety/paranoia. i really dont like being or living alone and had to leave the lights on when sleeping 10yrs ago, too. albuquerque is beautiful but there are so many cockroaches.


i'd rather treat my ADHD and anxiety and know subs will make me change my mind instantly with the sense of well-being they provide. in any case, im sure by the end of the month there will be a temporary lapse in posting and have to go to rehab/halfway house before i have to leave because i cant smoke cigarettes. i assume most body brokers dont want medicaid or id spend the 4k left i have in credit to go do the florida shuffle for a year or so while my BZD system tries to go back to normal (there was enough in my system that I'd consume 3.5g+ 4F-MPH or a quarter oz of good coke and have a healthier heart rate/BP than I do sober).

i stayed off everything but weed+liquor for 3yrs 2018-2021 when i detoxed and had my hips replaced and spent a full 6mo completely sober to see if i would psychologically feel better, but never did.


and thanks for the kind words and well wishes. they help a lot right now regarding loneliness/selfmedication
 
pcplease said:
^^i think the reason ive been homelesss all but the past 9mo might be because of doing this. pain is a huge problem but i think my mental health is the bigger problem here LSDreamer
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I didn't mean to say it was insignificant so I'm sorry if it came off like that....but thanks for pointing out that your mental illness is worse for you right now than your chronic pain.

What state do you live in? Do you have insurance? You need your mental health and your chronic pain addressed in a country where treatment for both is mutually exclusive unfortunately.

I just know that self medicating your mental and physical pain will worsen everything.

How can we help you find help? Feel free to private message me if you need to. Myself and others here will try and help find the resources that can get you on track. My wife works as an advocate for ppl in your type of situation, finding them treatment using whatever means they can get it done by.

You need medical treatment but that might take a while and you need to stop destroying your self via self medicating currently.

Are you doing the alcohol and krstom to address your mental problems or to treat your physical pain? Or are you doing it simply yondeal with your alcohol withdrawal?

You mentioned getting on subs. This seems better than self medicating with everything else and may help.with the pain and anxiety?

Are you physically dependent on gabaergic drugs (alcohol benzos etc.?)

Getting treatment will take time but in the meantime I'm sire everyone here is willing to try and help you find a way to cope without causing further damage by self medicating problematically.
 
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pcplease said:
^^i think the reason ive been homelesss all but the past 9mo might be because of doing this. pain is a huge problem but i think my mental health is the bigger problem here LSDreamer
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Correct. Addressing your mental health will make it easier to endure your physical health problems. I'm glad you've reached out on here, it's a good step towards recovery.
 
You need a professional diagnosis from a qualified psychiatrist.
All I can say is schizophrenia does tend to run in families, ie there's a genetic pre-disposition involved ; if a close relative is diagnosed schizophrenic, it has to be taken into consideration as a possibility.
 
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