Panic Attack - Vision Turning Black

[tired of crap]

Psychedelic Induced Panic Attacks - Vision Turning Black

I posted this in my thread over in Sober Living but I figured it might get more responses here...

On saturday I partook in a 600 mg dxm trip (which was surprisingly light - despite the lack of tolerance) in an attempt to gain insight into my most recent relapse into drinking. It was an enjoyable time spent mostly with friends, followed by some time alone relaxing where I got some valuable insight into my (poor) choices of late. I had a toke at around 10 hours and all was good. Then I visited a friend around 12 hours and got righteously stoned.

This is where things got weird. I was overcome with anxiety as my thoughts began to race - failing chemistry and thus losing my school loans, having to move in a month, broke as F***, over and over. My vision became black, not such that I couldnt see or tunnel vision but it was like a black haze over everything. Like the negative thoughts I was experiencing were being externalized visually. This has happened on a few physcedlic trips before - .3 g MDA/4 blotters of LSD, 2 blotters LSD/ 20 mg 2CT7 and another 9 blotter LSD experience, as well as one time really hungover and after a few kombuchas which contained moderate levels of caffeine. All of which occured during high stress periods of my life.

"No way, not now, how?" ... Despite my desire to answer these questions the time for thinking was not know.

STOP! Focus on the your breath. Inhalation, pause, exhalation, pause. The rise of the belly, the fall of the belly.

A few minutes later I was out of this panic attack? spiritual / emotional crisis? Call it what you will.

My friend never seemed to notice and I was apprehensive to talk to him about it afterwards in fear of "it" returning. Why? Im not sure. He is also experienced with altered states. I stuck around for a few hours to calm down before heading home.

The following day was as any other, despite being tired. Strangely enough I was tempted to drink last night but refrained.
...
Obviously set and setting play a huge role in these types of experiences and given I was reluctant to choose a "heavier" psychedelic. What I find strange though is that it occurred so late in the experience (obviously, in my opinion, brought on by the pot - which is known to cause anxiety attacks in some, though Ive never experienced anxiety attacks induced by pot it has caused me some anxiety in the past but not recently).

Suppose what Im curious about has anyone experienced this darkening of vision during a panic attack? Psychedelic or other experience?

Thanks
TOC

 

[pupnik]

DXM + Weed + emotion

if the DXM did not go to a hole
and if adding the weed did not go to blackout
then the emotional reactions finished the job.

bear in mind, emotional stress is enough on its own to produce - time distortion, disorientation, and even blackout (normally noticed with fainting) although a blacked out visual field is pretty close to a full blackout.

Also weed is enough on its own.

 

[HoldBack]

I'm curious to know if anyone else has had the same darkening that you are describing.

I've only ever had one panic attack from xanax withdrawal and got the classic tunnel vision type of darkening. DXM is so different than the other psychedelics you've had it happen with that I'd wonder if it has more to do with the weed as pupnik alluded to. Was marijuana involved in those other experiences?

 

[tired of crap]

come to think about it this has also happened on three other occasions that I can recall. once a low dose 2ce/LSD combo, once on 4 blotters of LSD and another time sober (perhaps stoned) at work.

Actually most of these experiences were clustered together, within a year and a half or so, after a traumatic event at a music festival - the area wasnt properly roped off, I went to lay in the bushes (at night) "like any good hippie would do" because I was tired but still wanted to listen to the tunes and fell a solid 20 feet, thankfully not straight down, hitting my head and losing my glasses. I then proceeded to stumble about all dazed (and definitely quite high) into a river. I was having quite the trip, thinking I was looking for the bathroom (what I was doing previous to falling) and that someone really needs to empty the porta-potys because theyre overflowing (the river). I realized something was up when I could no longer touch and quickly got to shore..... All but this most recent, the MDA/LSD, the hangover and the time at work were within the 1.5 years after. Then I decided itd be best to take a break and work on whatever it was that was troubling me.

Now before someone says maybe psychedelics arent for you... I have had countless experiences previous to, in between and after (well obviously not after saturday haha) which have been just as or more intense where this did not happen. This is the first time in over 3 years it has happened while tripping.

To answer your question though holdback, pot was not involved in all of these instances. Only the LSD/2CT7 experience and the 4 blotter experience (which was also in an unfamiliar setting - which I no longer choose to do).

What I am confused about is that when reading about others experiences with panic attacks (before posting) is that their vision will go completely black, then tunnel vision, then pass out. In none of these instances has that happened. Its just a black haze, no tunnel vision or passing out. And on the dose of 9 LSD blotters my picture of Jim Morrision took on this evil character, mind he looks sort of evil in the painting anyways haha.. Truly I think its a matter of mind set combined with the psychedelia .. like I mentioned a sort of externalizing my emotions visually, not so much a panic attack - perhaps what some might call a "bad trip".. dun-dun-dun.... Though Ive had other difficult experiences where this has not happened.

Just curious about others experiences with these sorts of negative experiences.

 

[pupnik]

ton,
that was a fucking fun thing to read - thanks!

 

[tired of crap]

Fun to read. Not fun to experience, especially considering the greater implications me drowning at a festival would have had for not only the organizers but our community as a whole. Pro-tip - setting is just as important as mind set! .. Be safe out there people ...
Now the Jim Morrision incident. Ya that was funny... Theres more to the story but Ill save that for another day...

I recently ran into an old friend which reminded me ... He was always into the esoteric, spirits, angels / demons and full moon ceremonies.. You know the type.
Anyways he was always on about psychedelics opening up holes in your psyche which in turn brought about evil spirits. I never paid him any mind because why just psychedelics... why not all drugs? And why just evil spirits... why not good spirits?

I had another friend who went down to the amazon for an ayahausca ceremony - but a month kinda deal.
He said one night the dogs in the camp went off... Then this presence came to him and asked to come in. He refused. Within the next few moments one of the others began screaming hysterically. It took hours to calm this pour lady down. The next morning the shaman apologized to everyone for not "keeping the space" as he should have - (implying free of these spirits).

Im curious if anyone gives that sort of thing a thought before delving into these conscious expanding substances?

 

[pupnik]

one thing to consider is that we can synthesize fragments of evidence into an entity just by being suspicious of it.
the suspicion gives it shape (maybe negative shape and it fills the anti-shape), then sensory cues that support it are incorporated to corroborate and sustain the illusion.

this is easier to do on psychedelics (even opiates have a psychedelic or waking dream aspect) than in normal everyday mental states.

 

[tired of crap]

one thing to consider is that we can synthesize fragments of evidence into... "x" ... then sensory cues that support it are incorporated to corroborate and sustain the illusion.

this is easier to do on psychedelics (even opiates have a psychedelic or waking dream aspect) than in normal everyday mental states.

Very well put pupnik...
I substituted x for entity because I whole-heartedly agree but dont feel like it necessarily has to be an entity (though in this specific case thats what were talking about). I feel like it could be anything: love, God, connectedness, evolution... whatever.