Pain and addiction when addiction enables you

[Embadger]

How do you deal with realizing you are addict?
How do you deal with it when others realize?
How do you walk the line between addiction and relief of chronic pain, the line that says take a few more pills than you are supposed so you can put in those hours at work, so you can go for that long walk, so you can be who you were before chronic pain.
I am told I am addicted opioids and I guess I am but not being stoned but rather to being able to work and play like I don't have chronic pain.
Not that anyone reason is suepoir to another but out of clarity to my personal situation.

Finally the question all this has lead too how do I break the cycle and walk the line so I can get relief but not let it control me.

 

[Mafioso]

Coming to terms with the fact that you are addicted to a substance(s), and trying to understand what that means is probably one of the harder parts. There are all sorts of taboos and stereotypes commonly associated with addiction that may or may not apply to you. There are also a lot of general facts/rules that will apply to you but it probably won't be comfortable accepting that they do. For instance, moderation is not a rational approach for most people with the disease of addiction. Opioid replacement therapy has helped a lot of people stabilize, but for many it is the beginning of a longer journey.

Dealing with chronic pain is never easy. The question is though, are opioids the best option? and are the side effects that come along with daily opioid use outweigh the positive benefits? These are questions you might need to think about for a while, and your answers may vary. They are difficult questions to really answer because there may be unintended consequences you haven't really noticed- and you may not notice them because of the intoxication. It might be a good idea to discuss with your close friends and family how your opioid use has impacted your various relationships. That's something you can't fully gauge on your own.

For most, breaking the cycle means abstinence. You could have someone hold the pills for you and dole out the doses daily, if there is someone responsible enough in your life, but you will still have to deal with the tolerance. Tolerance is a big reason why opioids tend not to be the best for long term use. Your body becomes physically dependent and stops producing natural pain killers(endorphins) to compensate. The body wants to remain at equilibrium. So essentially you become more sensitive and rely more upon the opioid medication to regulate pain. It doesn't actually treat the disease or disorder, only the pain that may result as a symptom. So depending on the nature of your chronic pain, there may be a better route. Not sure how much you have explored this idea with your doctor already.

Because of the way the body becomes physically dependent upon substances, opioids are a very difficult drug to use and not be controlled by it. To some degree you will always be limited by the side effects and the need to re-dose or get sick.

 

[Embadger]

I am trying to regulate the pain while trying to find the actual cause, so that I can get rid of them.
I have a tendency already so after this last episode my partner will be doling out my daily doses and holding onto my break through meds.
This is so I can maintain work function, while we find a solution, my pain management doc is the only one on my network and he seems happier feeding me pills, than finding the problem, but I must tolerate his approach till next year or risk being on ordered bed rest, but with out disability and I simply can't afford that.
So I am in a catch 22.

 

[Stargazer]

It's great that you told someone else! That speaks volumes. I wouldn't have done that when deep in my addiction.

I too have chronic pain. It's a really difficult place to be. There's a chronic pain program at Valley Forge Medical hospital in Pennsylvania.

I went to it. It was amazing. There's vso much more to chronic pain than pain.

 

[herbavore]

There's so much more to chronic pain than pain.

This is so true. I know pain management clinics vary widely from place to place (from useless to extremely helpful). There is also a lot of information online. Good luck to everyone--I know it is a very difficult road when there is no end in sight.

 

[Mafioso]

I am trying to regulate the pain while trying to find the actual cause, so that I can get rid of them.
I have a tendency already so after this last episode my partner will be doling out my daily doses and holding onto my break through meds.
This is so I can maintain work function, while we find a solution, my pain management doc is the only one on my network and he seems happier feeding me pills, than finding the problem, but I must tolerate his approach till next year or risk being on ordered bed rest, but with out disability and I simply can't afford that.
So I am in a catch 22.

Letting someone else who can be responsible control your dose is a good start. I would watch out for other possible ways though. Addiction can be pretty creative. Addiction is described as a disease that spreads from the "bottom up" in reference to the brain, and recovery is described as a top down. Meaning a lot of the things that drive us to drug use stem from more animalistic urges in the lower brain, and recovery stems from cognitive thought in the upper parts of the brain. That all is to say that even though you recognize the problems of drug use and addiction, you will likely still be compelled to use drugs and engage addictive behaviors. So having someone regulate your prescription meds is great, but be careful your mind doesn't start quietly finding other ways to get high. Having your partner control the money, or at least having a system of financial accountability might be wise.