• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Overdosed On Gravol A Few Months Ago

S

SickOfBeingHere

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 14, 2016
Messages
13
In May 2016 I overdosed on Gravol, hoping to die. I took 2,400 mg - I was home alone and nobody knew that I did this (and still don't).

When the Gravol started taking effect, I blacked out and only had brief periods of awareness - even though I wasn't fully aware that what was going on wasn't real (except for my own actions). I had major hallucinations that scare me - I thought I saw my mom and she was crying about something. In my brief periods of awareness I put my computer mouse on a different table and, fearing my mom might come back and find out that I was going to suffocate myself, I hid the plastic bag, elastic band, and my cellphone in a DVD. I don't know why I hid the cellphone.

When I started to gain full awareness I realized that I had put the drying rack and cat's placemat in the kitchen sink, the cover for the toilet lid on the bathroom door, I managed to tear the plug to the sink out, and when I went in my bedroom with a carton of chocolate milk, I discovered there were some insects under the bed. I thought the insects were a hallucination (after realizing my mom was never really there - I thought she left in her car to go get something but when I waited a while and noticed she wasn't returning I then realized she was never there to begin with) but when I went to make the hallucination go away, I touched one of them and screamed, dropping the carton of chocolate milk which spilled on the floor.


I put the drying rack, cat's placemat, and toilet lid's cover back in their proper places. I then fixed the plug and managed to re-connect it to the pipe correctly. I also cleaned up the mess from the chocolate milk and got rid of the insects. After this, I went to bed.

The next morning, when I woke up, I couldn't find my cellphone and freaked out, thinking I had left it on the Metrobus the day I overdosed. I looked everywhere for the cellphone and called the Metrobus company but was told that no cellphone was turned in. It was at this time that I noticed one of my DVDs looked fatter than normal. I opened the DVD case and discovered that not only was the cellphone there but also the plastic bag and rubber band I was going to use to end my life. I also found the pack of Gravol under the couch. I put the Gravol in the garbage and threw the garbage out before anyone found out what I had done.

I am wondering if anyone else ever overdosed on Gravol before and experienced the same things I experienced. I read another story online, but it was only about someone's hallucinations and they were in the hospital (since someone found out what they did).

If anyone else has a story like mine, feel free to share, I don't judge nor do I care if someone did it to get high - that was not my intention.
 
I'll move this to Drug Culture, hoping that it's appropriate there, as this isn't suited for OD
 
I'm not sure where to send this, but it doesn't belong in DC either.

I'll send it to TDS, hopefully it's the right forum for it.

Dc > Tds.
 
SickOfBeingHere - you said this happened two months ago, how are you feeling now? Has your situation improved any?

I can relate, many many years ago I found a box and decided to take all of them to go to sleep as I had nothing else to take around the house and had horrible insomnia...not one of my better nights. I don't think I was as bad off as you were, but I did not enjoy the experience and I also didn't get any decent sleep. I'm glad you made it through okay. I hope you are feeling better!
 
I still feel shitty, my situation hasn't improved at all. I learned one thing though: We all have a role in life and my role is the Black Sheep or Scapegoat; it's a shitty role but I've come to accept it as my role - I have had it since I was young.
 
Your role can change, all you need is to find a good mentor to help show you the way.
 
I tried, haven't found one. Going to try to end it tonight; I'm not going with the method I had originally planned - doing something else instead that might work if I'm very lucky.
 
What are you going to do? Do you have anyone you can talk to IRL, or on the phone or something?
 
SickOfBeingHere - your role can change - you may be just have to get a little creative and don't worry about what anyone thinks. How old are you?
 
Hey, SickOfBeingHere, you doing alright? I just lost one of my best friends to suicide and........well, its a permanent solution and you'd never know just how much it affects the people who do care about you (and even if it doesnt seem like it there are people that care about you). Seen you havent posted here so in a bit so.......just hoping you're doing alright.
 
Sorry but I'm still here. My plan didn't work, I'm definitely going to be dead before December 20th though (I'll be 27 then and I don't want to live that long - to me 26 is long enough, especially given the life I've had due to both my own actions and other things that were out of my control).
 
I lost my husband that way. Give yourself done time please. Your going to end your suffering but your gonna cause more pain then you can fathom for your mom and others Why so selfish?
 
How can you call me selfish? To me, selfish is making those who are wishing to die because they have spent years enduring misery stay alive are. I have given myself plenty of "down time" - I have done so since I was 10; I felt suicidal since then when I was being bullied non-stop by people at school, and the teachers and principals didn't do ANYTHING even if they SAW IT HAPPEN! Also, I have been told numerous times by my mother that her life would be easier if I wasn't around - she has told me that more than once; if she didn't mean it she wouldn't say it, she has never apologized for saying it either. I don't have any friends to live with, so living somewhere else is out of the question.

So the next time you are about to call someone like me selfish, consider what the person is feeling. You should be considerate of the person who wants to die's feelings too, you know.
 
That's it. I'm done. Don't bother replying to this thread, I won't be checking since I won't be around to do so. Just heard how I can't do something else right; I am sick of this. Like I said before, we all have a purpose in life and mine seems to be the Scapegoat or Black Sheep. I'm sick of the role and I quit!
 
SickOfBeingHere said:
How can you call me selfish? To me, selfish is making those who are wishing to die because they have spent years enduring misery stay alive are. I have given myself plenty of "down time" - I have done so since I was 10; I felt suicidal since then when I was being bullied non-stop by people at school, and the teachers and principals didn't do ANYTHING even if they SAW IT HAPPEN! Also, I have been told numerous times by my mother that her life would be easier if I wasn't around - she has told me that more than once; if she didn't mean it she wouldn't say it, she has never apologized for saying it either. I don't have any friends to live with, so living somewhere else is out of the question.

So the next time you are about to call someone like me selfish, consider what the person is feeling. You should be considerate of the person who wants to die's feelings too, you know.
Click to expand...


I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I kind of share your opinions on suicide, I don't think it's selfish if you've tried everything you can do and are still miserable. A few years ago I was at my lowest and had already been struggling for years and told my family of nothing improves within the next five years I'm going to end my life...why should I continuously suffer. I do understand you're perspective. Fortunately, my situation did change and started getting better which was all I needed to stick it out longer.

In your situation I hate to see someone so young feel this way. What's keeping you living with your Mom? Is there any way you can spend more time out of the house? Can you get a job and save money to get your own place? Do you have any source of income, maybe you could rent a room or get a place of your own for a couple hundred bucks a month. Do you have any other family? Sorry for all the question, just wondering if there are any other options to make life a little more pleseant.
 
My partner has chronic suicidal ideation. Lithium REALLY helped her, and DBT looks like a great option too. She was sure that she would never get any relief, having felt like she wanted to die for twenty years. She stuck it out though and we got her help and she is actually happy these days!

She was hospitalized a few times and had one failed suicide attempt. It took a while... but she recovered. :)

You can too. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top